Edinburgh 2023

Tuesday 15 August
By Lumo to Edinburgh
On a seat with no view!
Spotted Flying Scotsman outside the NRM York

Pint at Cloisters

Wednesday 16 August

Andre and Dorine

Assembly Rooms, George Street

A mime/ puppet show about dementia

Amazingly there were only three actors (lots of papier-mache heads!)

Sam Campbell, Bulletproof Ten
Pleasance Grand

A one-night only 10-minute show (13 minutes actually) for £2

Junk for small plates street food dinner

Thursday 17 August

Day trip to Rothesay, Isle of Bute via Wemyss Bay and Glasgow Central,

train and ferry where they were filming a BBC show Dinosaurs

Friday 18 August 
When the apple ripens, Peter Howson at 65 City Art Centre. Grim

Simon Munnery, Stay Safe Stand 1

Pakora Bar for dinner

BBC Fresh from the Fringe, Dynamic Earth
Kiri Pritchard-McLean, Tadiwa Mahlunge, Dan Tiernan, Adam Rowe, Lorna Rose Treen and Lindsey Santoro. The guy with the beard was funniest IMO

Saturday 19 August 
Modern art galleries on 13 bus and Charley lunch

Alberta Whittle creating dangerously at Modern 1
Decades: the art of change 1900-1980 at Modern 2

Dimanche,
Church Hill Theatre

Physical theatre about climate change with amazing weather effects

Sunday 20 August 
Daniel Kitson, First Thing (Work in progress), Roundabout at Summerhall

Up at the crack of dawn to see Daniel Kitson at Summerhall in First thing ( work in progress) in the round in the Roundabout. Everyone got a script with lines highlighted, mine was script 67 and the line was 'cock rings and candy floss? ' I normally hate audience participation but we didn't have to leave our seats so it was ok. He deconstructed the thing as he went along. It's not a play he said - or stand-up -but the audience (reading from a script he wrote) disagreed!

Home for the England football final

Tram to Fishmarket restaurant, Newhaven,

Robin Ince, Melons

Stand New Town Theatre, George Street

Punching a melon!

Monday 21 August
Mervyn Stutter's 30th year gala, Pleasance Grand
Ed Byrne, Jo Caulfield, mentalist Colin Cloud, A comedy of operas, Spirit of Ireland, Yes-Ya-Yebo, Show Stopper, Havana Street Party
Meet Jayne and Lauren, Pleasance bar
Chaakoo (Indian) for dinner.

Tuesday 22 August 
Rob Auton The Rob Auton show

Gentle autobiographical stand up/spoken word. He even mentions his cock ring! Now where have I heard that before?

Assembly Roxy

Talbot Rice Gallery I hate pitch-black rooms!

Sora Lella Vegan Italian for dinner.…

Wednesday 23 August

Home on the Lumo and yet another joke seat!

More on James Miller

More photos on Flickr 

Bergen by train (and ferries) 2

It's always good to get some jeopardy at the start of an ambitious itinerary, stops you worrying about connections etc. The Thameslink timetable fiasco had one silver lining - tickets were valid on Gatwick Express trains, but I'd still have to get the tube from Victoria to St Pancras at rush hour. However on the morning TV news they said a train had broken down at Gatwick Airport and to expect delays... so, I set off straight away. Made it.



The other major worry was right at the end of the trip when the German ICE train from Cologne to Brussels arrived 45 minutes late, and on another platform! By the time we were detoured because of people on the line, we arrived 1hr 21minutes late. Of course I'd missed my Eurostar and I was imagining all kinds of scenarios - staying the night in Brussels, buying new tickets and claiming back on the holiday insurance, etc. I needn't have worried - the Eurostar check in person just booked us on to the next train. Back at St Pancras, a Thameslink train turned up and I got back to Brighton in time for the last train to London Road. Phew!

So when people say the trains always run on time in Germany? That was a long time ago. There was another delay from Cologne to Hamburg when a thunderstorm caused the train to be late by about 50 minutes, but as Hamburg was that day's destination, no connection to worry about, just a late night.

Apart from that, there was one other change to the plan. The train from Hamburg to Copenhagen was meant to drive on board a ferry (yes, the train went on the ferry, like the old Golden Arrow). Only it didn't - the train terminated at Puttgarden, we got onto buses, the buses drove onto the ferry for the 45 minute passage, then we rejoined the buses to travel all the way to Copenhagen Central station (mind those cyclists!). I had to get to Nørreport station for the shuttle bus to the ferry port, so I bought a ticket from a machine using my card, was directed to platforms 9 or 10 by a helpful member of staff, and a local train came straight away. Getting across cities from ferry port to station was a major worry - if I ruled the world, there would always be a bus linking station, town centre, ferry terminal, and major tourist sights. Like there isn't in Bergen!



Bergen of course was the highlight of the holiday. I'd originally thought of going on a cruise up the fjords, but a) thought I could do it cheaper, and b) didn't want to be cooped up with all those Daily Mail readers. Two overnight, reasonably sized ferries were enough for me! So I googled 'steam railways in Norway' and found the Old Voss railway with its 1913 4-6-0 loco. Digging deeper, I found that about six times a year it featured in a Heritage Tour, comprising a steam ship (also built in 1913) SS Stord 1, the aforementioned steam train and vintage buses. At around £40 this was the bargain of the week. The whole holiday was built around this Sunday event. I arrived far too early at the steam ship - the ticket said 10am, I arrived at 9.30am but the actual sailing wasn't until 11.15am. The Stord I was delight - we could go anywhere - on the bridge, even down some greasy metal steps to the engine room, where a Cheshire built steam engine could tear your limbs off. No stoker, it was fuelled by oil!



On the Monday I'd booked another tour - Norway in a nutshell. This involved an early start to collect the tickets for my self-guided tour from the station, and as stated earlier there didn't seem to be a bus or tram linking the area of my hotel at the harbour fish market to the central station. Found it and joined the queue. First leg was a trip up the Bergen-Oslo railway I'd travelled down on. You could take the tour in any order and I was delighted when most of the train got off at Voss. The rest of us carried on to Myrdal where we climbed aboard the Flåm Express for a scenic journey down to the fjord.

The start was in the clouds, but we stopped at a waterfall and were encouraged to get out... to our surprise, music started and a faraway Huldra in a red dress did a dance up on the rocks. At Flåm I visited the museum, gasped at the huge cruise ship in the harbour and got on our modest ferry to sail down two beautiful fjords. I was surrounded by Taiwanese girls ('Were not Chinese! We hate the Chinese'), so didn't get out on deck.



At Gudvangen we got onto buses for a truly hair-raising descent into the Nærøydalen valley via 13 hairpin bends and two waterfalls. It is one of Northern Europe's steepest roads, and the driver took it very slowly!



Other highlights included the Oslo to Bergen train line itself - very scenic with ice and snow, but lots of tunnels - and the fabulous Fløibanen Funicular. It wasn't working the first night, but was the second night - and at 10 quid, well worth the experience. The ferry from Bergen to Hirtshals was great too, especially since I had a porthole! I'd prebooked the Commanders Buffet at 30 quid and did my best to consume as much seafood and Carlsberg the 90 minutes allowed. I watched a covers band called Waterproof until time for bed - my taster of life on a cruise ship over.

Oh, and I didn't expect it to be so hot! Packed wrong things...

Firsts
First time in Hamburg
First time in Denmark
First time in Copenhagen
First time sleeping on a boat
First time in Norway
First time in Oslo
First time in Bergen
First time on a fjord
Furthest north I've been

More photos on Flickr

Full Itinerary here >

Bergen by train (and ferries) 1

First, a big thank you to The man in Seat 61 for the invaluable info on getting anywhere by train.



Here's a brief itinerary.

Day 1 Thursday 7 June 2018
1. Train: London Road to Brighton
2. Gatwick Express to Victoria (delays! Thameslink timetable chaos plus broken down train at Gatwick)
3. Tube to St Pancras (sardines!)
4. Eurostar train to Brussels
5. ICE train to Cologne
6.Train to Hamburg (thunder and lightning, 50 min delay)
Hotel Novum Continental in Hamburg

Day 2 Friday 8 June
7. Train from Hamburg Hbf to Puttgarden
8. Bus to ferry M/F Deutschland
9. Ferry to Rødby in Denmark
10. Bus to Copenhagen
11. Train to Nørreport station
12. DFDS shuttle bus to DFDS Ferry Terminal in Dampfærgevej
13. Sail overnight on MS Crown Seaways from Copenhagen to Oslo (no window in cabin)

 

Day 3 Saturday 9 June
Ferry arrives in Oslo at 09:45
Walk to Central Station
14. Train from Oslo to Bergen (scenic, snow, lots of tunnels)
15. Bergen light railway (Bybanen) towards fishmarket
Magic Hotel Korskirken, Bergen (free breakfast)



Day 4 Sunday 10 June
Bergen Heritage Tour
16. Steam ship SS Stord I from Holbergskaien to Garnes.
17. From Garnes to Midttun with steam train
18. From Midtun by veteran bus back to Holbergskaien
Magic Hotel Korskirken, Bergen

  

Day 5 Monday 11 June
Norway in a nutshell Fjord cruise 8.43 at railway station
19. Trolly bus towards station
20. Train to Myrdal (most people got off at Voss)
21. Flåm railway down (Kjosfossen waterfall with dancing Huldra)
22. Ferry Skagastol from Flåm to Gudvangen (Taiwan girls)
23. Gudvangen to Voss by bus (via hair-raising hairpin descent)
24. Train from Voss to Bergen
25. Bybanen towards fish market
26. Fløibanen funicular back at Bergen
Salt cod at Bryggeloftet & Stuene
Magic Hotel Korskirken, Bergen



Day 6 Tuesday 12 June
27. Taxi to Fjord Line ferry terminal
28. Sail on MF Bergensfjord from Bergen to Hirtshals (got a porthole! Commander's buffet, Waterproof covers band, 10 quid pint Carlesberg)

Day 7 Wednesday 13 June
29. Shuttle bus (DKK30) to Hirtshals station (just ticket machine and shelter)
30. Local train from Hirtshals to Hjoerring (no cafe, no ticket office, text toilets, accident bike and old man)
31. Train from Hjoerring to Århus (coffee)
32. Train to Hamburg
White asparagus and Duckstein at Baumann's Bierbar
Centro Hotel in Hamburg



Day 8 Thursday 14 June
33. Train from Hamburg to Cologne (coffee and roll)
34. ICE from Cologne to Brussels (40min delay, then mad rush change of platform get to Brussels 1hr 21min late)
35. Eurostar to St Pancras (booked on next train, no charge)
36. Thameslink train to Brighton (hurrah!)
37. 11.41 Seaford train to London Road, and home.

More photos on Flickr.

Bergen by train (and ferries) 2 >

Islay and Oban: Part 2 Oban

So, my 16.10 arrival at Oban was dramatic, with a sudden heavy downpour after a pleasant day's sailing. Luckily there was a Wetherspoons on the quay, The Corryvreckan, so I sheltered there for a while to check out the Pokemon situation. After it eased off, I found a cashpoint and wandered over to the Royal Hotel, one of those hotels popular with coach parties, and had seen better days. I was in Room 218 with a view out the back.



I went back out to the harbour and, tempted by a free hot mussel, ordered a £3.95 portion from the famous green shack, eating them in the rain, under an umbrella - not easy! Then it was back to Wetherspoons for another pint and, after watching the sun set, back to the hotel for a £5 tot of Oban.



On Sunday, after a breakfast of beans, fried egg and potato scones, with tea served quickly by unflustered staff, I made my way to the distillery, where I showed my classic malts passport and got a free tour. The distillery is much smaller than Laphroaig, with half the stills - I did learn that the yeast came from Hull. At the end of the tour we got to sample 13-year old whisky, then the 14-year old in the shop, where we got another free glass. I used my £5 off voucher to buy a bottle, for £40. There was no photography allowed on the distillery tour. They have a tasting bar open until 6.30 serving wee drams for a bargain £3 a shot.



I dropped off the bottle at the hotel, checked out the free wifi in the lounge bar, then walked to the harbour. There was a big queue at the Green Shack, so I tried the Fishhouse upstairs, where they were doing a two-course lunch deal for £13.99. I had smoked haddock chowder and roasted local coley on a bed of prawn and leek risotto, washed down with a local beer - Skelpt Lug dark ale!



I'd been debating whether or not to go on the boat to see the seals, but as the rain had stopped  I just had time to get there by 2pm, just as they were casting off. It was £10 and we headed for the steam ship monument, past the 1950s cathedral and finally to a rock full of seals. We also saw a pair of sea eagles and an M&S salmon farm.

 

After a pint at Wetherspoons (Sirius Dog Star) and a portion of chips with curry sauce, I wandered back to the hotel to find a keyboard and accordion duo playing for a coach party of Canadians. Then from nowhere, entered a very loud piper! marching up and down swinging his kilt!



Monday, it was an early start to get the 8.57 train to Glasgow, another scenic journey. I walked from Queen Street, past Robert Peel, to Central where I had a longish wait in the Virgin First Class Lounge! Yes my £46.20 ticket back to Brighton was first class! I had two cappuccinos (from a machine), loads of biscuits and popcorn and played Pokemon until it was time to board my delayed train (floods near Preston). On board I had free cans of beers (Wreckless), a dry tuna salad and lots of pretzels. The Gatwick Express at Victoria was late too, and when I got back to Brighton there was an hours wait for a Seaford train, so it was a taxi home!

 

More photos on Flickr.

< Part 1 Islay
< Edinburgh 2016

Islay and Oban: Part 1 Islay

While I'm up in Scotland, I always like to tag on a little extra journey: this year it was the whisky island of Islay and a town I've always wanted to visit - Oban. I discovered that twice a week there's a ferry from Islay to Oban (even though I couldn't find it on the inscrutable CalMac timetables). So Thursday morning 18 August I walked down to Haymarket station and bought a ticket to Glasgow Queen Street. After a pint at a convenient Wetherspooons, I set off to find Buchanan bus station (no trains go that way). What I didn't know was that the Citylink coach was going to Campbeltown! Anyway I found it and the journey was very scenic, past the bonnie bonnie banks of Loch Lomond, Loch Long and Loch Fyne, where we had a comfort stop at Inveraray.



At Kennacraig I bought my two ferry tickets as a £15.80 HopScotch deal (bargain!) and boarded MV Finlaggan for the 2-hour journey, where I consumed a couple of bottles of Islay beer and a bowl of chips. At Port Ellen it was a short walk to the White Hart Hotel, where to my surprise the bar and restaurant were closed - but the key to room 3 was waiting for me at reception. The room was fine and I had a view of the sea. I walked to a rowdy pub, the only pub, the Ardview Arms, drank a pint of McEwans and checked my wifi in a quiet room to the right. After a wee dram of Laphroaig Quarter Cask (£5.80) i wandered back to the hotel to watch the olympics.



The White Hart lived up to its Fawlty Towers reputation at breakfast, where two extremely flustered women tried to keep a minibus full of Poles and a celebrated musician happy with poached eggs. Mine - beans, fried egg and potato scones - was fine however. I walked to the bus stop - I wasn't sure of the times as I'd found two different timetables on the internet, but one arrived heading towards Ardbeg so I jumped on and bought a £10 day ticket. It passed Laphroaig and Lagavulin distilleries (which were supposed to be just a short walk from Port Ellen) and turned round at Ardbeg. I decided to jump off at Lagavulin and try to get on a tour. No luck, they were full, but I got my passport stamped. So, after failing to get a lift, it was a trek through the drizzle along the cycle path back to Laphroaig.



Not a lot of people know this, but I own a plot of land on Islay, thanks to Laphroaig whisky and I was able to print out a map of its location. I also got 'rent' in the form of a wee bottle. The £6 tour was great - unusually they do their own malting - but I still had a two hour wait for the next bus, so I sat down in the comfy lounge, tasted a few more drams and played Pokemon Go with their free wifi!



The bus took me along long straight roads across the island to Port Askaig, via Laphroaig's peat bogs by the airport, where a raucous group of men up for a charity football match (one played for Arsenal!) were waiting, but the bus had to do a school run, so we went to the pub (Port Askaig Hotel) and I had a surprisingly nice pint of Tennents 60/- Light (more like dark mild). After a sing song on the bus, and them calling me Ronnie, they got off at Bowmore and I travelled back to Port Ellen in peace.

I gave the posh restaurant at the Islay Hotel a go for a cappuccino, and stayed to eat in the bar, where they had Islay Ales on draught. I had roasted scallops followed by chunky fish pie. Excellent!



Saturday 13 August, morning, the women at the White Hart were even more flustered, giving me bacon instead of tatty scones, but never mind. At check out, one of them told me the hotel was up for sale and the owners didn't want to lose his licence hence the bar downstairs being dark. I caught the 9.40 bus to Port Askaig and met two old girls who'd been on the bus the day before. I had an hour and a half to kill so jumped on the ferry to Jura (£1.30 return) with the women and back on my own, then a cup of tea and wifi in the Port Askaig Hotel.



The big ferry was MV Hebridean Isles and the four-hour cruise took us past many islands, with a stop at Colonsay, most were uninhabited - in fact we didn't see any houses until almost at Oban. I had minestrone soup and more Islay beer. The weather was glorious until we arrived at Oban, where it threw it dowm. Luckily there was a Wetherspoons nearby...



More photos on Flickr.

Part 2 Oban >
< Edinburgh 2016

Pies, piers, canals, cruises and art, part 2

On Wednesday morning I checked my Metro app and was delighted to find that the trams were back to 'good service'. Had to pay on the bus into Bury (£2.50) as it was ridiculously early and another £7 for the return tram ride to Salford Quays. The tram cruised through Victoria station without stopping and we changed at Cornbrook for the spur into what's now known as MediaCityUK, where both the BBC and ITV have their studios. We crossed a bridge towards the Lowry and round the corner spotted the 10am ferry - Snowdrop - it was 9.30am and already full of pensioners!



We joined the queue to get aboard and grabbed a bit of a bench on the forward left-hand side. I got some teas in before we set off -  bacon baps were already being prepared for the breakfast rush. It was a lovely day and we went under the Lowry footbridge (all the bridges, except the high level ones, raised or swung for us), past the Imperial War Museum North and Coronation Street and into the first set of locks, Mode Wheel locks (named after Maud, according to the woman giving the running commentary). There are five sets of locks in total, and they mostly account for the predicted six-hour journey to the Mersey. Out of Manchester it was much more rural than I expected, with lots of birdlife to spot: herons, cormorants, and baby ducks having to ride out the wash.



We passed countless swing bridges, swing aqueducts and deserted railway bridges, and after Irlam locks, we had our first glimpse of the Mersey, which would join and leave the Ship Canal several times.




Apparently building the canal had cut through several ancient rights of way, so every now and again there'd be a ferryman to take ramblers across the water in rowing boats.



Eventualy the canal widened and we saw a lot more industry - oil refineries and chemical works, one with its own island church.



 But amongst all this industry there were islands where sheep grazed, brought over in the farmer's boat.

As we approached Liverpool the weather had got worse, the sun went in and it was windy and cold. Finally we reached Eastham locks, where we had to wait for an age for a ship to come in - the tide was ebbing and it'd get stuck unless we let it through. It was fascinating however to watch the tugs (all with names beginning with V) inch the Gibraltan tanker into the lock and out into the canal.

 

We were now at sea and heading for the Liverpool skyline in the distance. It had taken around seven hours and we just had time for a couple of pints in the Pump House at Albert Dock before getting a coach back to Salford and home to Bury. A great day out! Book your trip here.



On Thursday I was heading home to Brighton, but set off early to see if I could check out the Ryan Gander exhibition at Manchester Art Gallery (it used to be called Manchester City Art Gallery but must have changed its name after pressure from United fans). I'd never heard of him until a Culture Show on tv. I got the tram to St Peter's Square (£4.10 for a single!) and the guard at the art gallery kindly let me put my case behind his desk. It was the first day of the show and the staff were still putting final touches to installations. It was fascinating however, one of those shows where you have to question everything you see. Is that crumpled piece of paper on the floor art (yes)? Is that guard (or rather Gallery Visitor Services staff member) reading a book (William Morris's News from Nowhere) art (yes!). Are you allowed to take a badge from the ice cream container (no)? Are you allowed to look behind the curtain (maybe)?

 

It was only later reading the guide on the train that I noticed I'd missed one or two pieces. Luckily, the friendly guard at the door had told me of other pieces scattered about the gallery: the Degas ballerina and Yves Klein blue cube (depicting the public perception of modern art) in the entrance hall, the chess set in the Design department, so thankfully I saw most of it! So glad I did. He's a sort of Jeremy Deller or Martin Creed but with a devilish sense of humour. Loved it.

It was time to hit the train. Manchester has free circular buses so I jumped on a Metroshuttle 3 right outside the gallery that took me directly to Piccadilly station, thence to Euston and via the tube (cos the train was delayed), back to Victoria and home.