Islay and Oban: Part 1 Islay

While I'm up in Scotland, I always like to tag on a little extra journey: this year it was the whisky island of Islay and a town I've always wanted to visit - Oban. I discovered that twice a week there's a ferry from Islay to Oban (even though I couldn't find it on the inscrutable CalMac timetables). So Thursday morning 18 August I walked down to Haymarket station and bought a ticket to Glasgow Queen Street. After a pint at a convenient Wetherspooons, I set off to find Buchanan bus station (no trains go that way). What I didn't know was that the Citylink coach was going to Campbeltown! Anyway I found it and the journey was very scenic, past the bonnie bonnie banks of Loch Lomond, Loch Long and Loch Fyne, where we had a comfort stop at Inveraray.



At Kennacraig I bought my two ferry tickets as a £15.80 HopScotch deal (bargain!) and boarded MV Finlaggan for the 2-hour journey, where I consumed a couple of bottles of Islay beer and a bowl of chips. At Port Ellen it was a short walk to the White Hart Hotel, where to my surprise the bar and restaurant were closed - but the key to room 3 was waiting for me at reception. The room was fine and I had a view of the sea. I walked to a rowdy pub, the only pub, the Ardview Arms, drank a pint of McEwans and checked my wifi in a quiet room to the right. After a wee dram of Laphroaig Quarter Cask (£5.80) i wandered back to the hotel to watch the olympics.



The White Hart lived up to its Fawlty Towers reputation at breakfast, where two extremely flustered women tried to keep a minibus full of Poles and a celebrated musician happy with poached eggs. Mine - beans, fried egg and potato scones - was fine however. I walked to the bus stop - I wasn't sure of the times as I'd found two different timetables on the internet, but one arrived heading towards Ardbeg so I jumped on and bought a £10 day ticket. It passed Laphroaig and Lagavulin distilleries (which were supposed to be just a short walk from Port Ellen) and turned round at Ardbeg. I decided to jump off at Lagavulin and try to get on a tour. No luck, they were full, but I got my passport stamped. So, after failing to get a lift, it was a trek through the drizzle along the cycle path back to Laphroaig.



Not a lot of people know this, but I own a plot of land on Islay, thanks to Laphroaig whisky and I was able to print out a map of its location. I also got 'rent' in the form of a wee bottle. The £6 tour was great - unusually they do their own malting - but I still had a two hour wait for the next bus, so I sat down in the comfy lounge, tasted a few more drams and played Pokemon Go with their free wifi!



The bus took me along long straight roads across the island to Port Askaig, via Laphroaig's peat bogs by the airport, where a raucous group of men up for a charity football match (one played for Arsenal!) were waiting, but the bus had to do a school run, so we went to the pub (Port Askaig Hotel) and I had a surprisingly nice pint of Tennents 60/- Light (more like dark mild). After a sing song on the bus, and them calling me Ronnie, they got off at Bowmore and I travelled back to Port Ellen in peace.

I gave the posh restaurant at the Islay Hotel a go for a cappuccino, and stayed to eat in the bar, where they had Islay Ales on draught. I had roasted scallops followed by chunky fish pie. Excellent!



Saturday 13 August, morning, the women at the White Hart were even more flustered, giving me bacon instead of tatty scones, but never mind. At check out, one of them told me the hotel was up for sale and the owners didn't want to lose his licence hence the bar downstairs being dark. I caught the 9.40 bus to Port Askaig and met two old girls who'd been on the bus the day before. I had an hour and a half to kill so jumped on the ferry to Jura (£1.30 return) with the women and back on my own, then a cup of tea and wifi in the Port Askaig Hotel.



The big ferry was MV Hebridean Isles and the four-hour cruise took us past many islands, with a stop at Colonsay, most were uninhabited - in fact we didn't see any houses until almost at Oban. I had minestrone soup and more Islay beer. The weather was glorious until we arrived at Oban, where it threw it dowm. Luckily there was a Wetherspoons nearby...



More photos on Flickr.

Part 2 Oban >
< Edinburgh 2016

Chatham historic dockyard

Call the Midwife!

This was my first coach trip since Bletchley Park last April, booked by Coach Trip chum Chrissie, with Worthing coaches, not too early (8.55am), but no pick-up at Preston Circus, so I cycled down to Pool Valley. We were the only two waiting and after a pick up at Patcham, the half empty coach set off to The Historic Dockyard Chatham, via a coffee stop at Clacket Lane services on the M25.

HM Submarine Ocelot, HMS Gannet and No 3 Slip from HMS Cavalier

Collecting our maps from driver Martin, we made our way to the entrance and not looking where I was going, tripped on a manhole cover and bruised my knee - and ego! We were advised to call in at No 1 Smithery first to book places at the Ropery demonstration and on the HM Submarine Ocelot tour. We declined the sub tour on the grounds of sore old knees and claustrophobia, plus there'd be lots of climbing up and down stairs etc in the course of the day!

Sloop HMS Gannet (1878)

First stop was HMS Gannet, an 1878 Victorian sloop, with hammocks, cannons and rigging everywhere. No engines or boilers to see. We were followed through the day by a party of school kids in what looked like sportswear. Then it was to the Ropery, via a Call the midwife photo opportunity. After an introduction by a shouty Victorian lady we got to see a three-strand rope being made by a very noisy twirling machine in the longest brick building in the world at 1/4 of a mile. Best bit of the day!

Destroyer HMS Cavalier (1944)

Next to the Ropery was a general exhibition on the history of the dockyard, entitled Steam, steel and submarines with figureheads and lots of ship models, including those in the Battle of the River Plate. After eating our sandwiches by the steam cranes, we wandered back past the Nelson Brewery where they make beer with suggestive names, such as the Pursers Pussy Porter, a bottle of which which I bought for £2.70. It was time for a coffee in the Railway Workshop and I was attracted to a spicy butter bean pie on sale from Kent Pies, but resisted. There were only two steam locos in the shed: Ajax and an unnamed 0-4-0ST (Peckett  No. 1903 built in 1936, maybe). I knew they wouldn't be in steam on a Monday.

0-4-0ST Ajax

Destroyer HMS Cavalier (1944) was next, with lots to see above and below decks, lots of ladders to climb up and (facing the ladder) back down again. Here the sailors had bunks, and proper toilets! Its a huge ship with great views from the top, although the man with the wheel had no view at all! HMS Cavalier and HM Submarine Ocelot can both be toured virtually on Google Maps.

No 3 Slip roof

No 3 Slip looks like a modern structure from the outside but it was built in 1838 so that ships could be built under cover. Inside houses all kinds of vehicles and machines, including a section of 'Boring Machines'! You can take the lift or stairs up to look at the amazing wooden roof. Next door is a big collection of RNLI lifeboats. The dockyard closed at 4pm, but is well work a visit - and with an entrance at around £20, the coach trip at £33 was very good value. Then it was straight back, no stopping until Patcham.

Worthing coach

 There's a steam and blues festival on over Easter. More photos on Flickr.

Poland: the Wolsztyn Experience part 4

The last full day Monday 4 May was also an early start and a 2.5 hour coach trip to Znin, to ride a charter on the narrow gauge railway. Two engines in steam greeted us (Px38-805 and a green tank), and a diesel  was on the scheduled runs. The train stopped at various strategic points to allow a bit of line siding of the run pasts. Half way along we stopped at the open-air museum for 600mm locos. There were loads of them, in landscaped areas. Across the rails was a castle and various pieces of siege apparatus.



We skirted a lake and passed an archaeological museum, then it was back on the coach to the Europa again, where I had sautéed cod and veg (best so far). Back at the Motel, the bar was shut so I never got to have a vodka.



We also found out that the German railways were on strike, so we would be travelling to Wuppertal by coach! So, no concrete works and an 8am start to the border, where we picked up a German coach. After several comfort stops (70c for a pee, but a 20c voucher to spend in the shop!) we eventually arrived at the Inter-city Hotel where a stroppy waiter reluctantly gave me a salad! After little sleep in my single room with single thin pillow, the next morning, after breakfast I had a quick ride of the dingle dangle train - the Wuppertal suspension railway (Schwebebahn) - from Kruse station to the next one along and back. Thank goodness for lifts!


Then it was through the narrow one-way streets and on to Brussels where we caught the Eurostar home, and Curt's PV / birthday bash!

More photos on Flickr.

 
Wuppertal suspension railway (Schwebebahn) from Alan Fred Pipes on Vimeo.

Poland: the Wolsztyn Experience part 3

Wolsztyn steam parade 2 May 2015 from Alan Fred Pipes on Vimeo.

Saturday 2 May was the day of the Steam Parade. After making some secret cheese and tomato sandwiches at the Montana, we set off to the station where we were to go on a short excursion pulled by a big tank engine 2-10-2 OKz32-2.



Back at Wolsztyn, the road from the station to the shed was lined with stalls selling souvenirs, beer and sausages. People were climbing all over the static locos to get good views, despite signs telling them not to. The Poles are very happy for people to cross the lines willy nilly, but today barriers were up.



We were ushered into a VIP area at the shed, viz an area with some wooden benches but opaque barriers, guarded by security. No VIP bar! We had cheer leaders and a band then the parade proper, which this year comprised just three locos - Ol49-69, OKz32-2 and an 0-6-0 tank TKh49-1 - with TKt48-18 on its way. So they steamed up and down, individually and coupled up until the finale when all three raced up the tracks whistles blowing. Then it was a beer and a walk to the Europa where I had Alaskan white salmon and some 9.5% porter.



On Sunday 3 May, it was another early start and back to loco Ol49-69, but this time with newer rolling stock with comfy seats, and a buffet bar! It was along the line to Zbaszynek and on to Miedzychod, then Gorzow Wlkp. and Bogdaniec and back with stops along the way to take on water from fire-brigade bowsers. Near Skwierzyna we spotted a scrapyard full of tanks and guided missiles! Some of the party were line siding, jumping out of cars and vans to take passing shots and videos of the train.



Then it was to the Europa again, where I had a rather leathery piece of hake and spuds.

More photos on Flickr.

Poland: the Wolsztyn Experience part 2

0149-69 near Wolsztyn from Alan Fred Pipes on Vimeo.

First day proper was Thursday 30 April, with three short trips planned. Our loco was Ol49-69. Now, Polish locos have a strange numbering system. The first letter O denotes mixed/stopping train traffic (Polish: osobowa - passenger), the second letter l (lower case L) means it has a 2-6-2 wheel arrangement and a number between 20 and 99 means a Polish-ordered steam engine, the number standing for the last two digits of the year in which the type was approved for production. The final number is the the engine's number in the class, in this case 69. Tank locos have an extra K, thus TKt48-18 is a freight locomotive (Polish: towarowa) with wheel arrangement 2-8-2 designed in 1948, number 18.



On the way back from the final outing, to Stefanowo, I had the opportunity of riding on the footplate. It cost a tenner and was well worth it; driving cost £70! Back at Wolsztyn, we walked to Howard's guest house where we had a free beer. That evening we had dinner at Locomotiva, by the lake. I had salmon.



Friday 1 May was a very early start - 5am to catch the train to Zagan. It was the same loco and the same ancient carriages with wooden seats. We stopped at Zielona Gora and went to find a plighted loco in a park. It was all very quiet, as it was still early and a bank holiday.



At Zagan,  we took a coach to the Stalag Luft 3 museum (another tenner), where the Great Escape happened. Line bashers went on to Lubsko on a freight only line. After a video in the visitor centre, we checked out the exhibits and models, and bought postcards in the gift shop. The coach then took us to see the site of the tunnel Harry, 1km down a lane (and 1k back again). There were many bits of the old camp still visible amongst the trees, including the concede bases of the huts, a reservoir and the hospital. We then went to see a memorial to the chaps who were caught and executed.



Back in Zagan we were treated to a womens' bike race around the streets. We got back to Wolsztym about 8.15 then it was the coach to the Montana for a buffet supper (same as last time) but with big squidgy dumplings, and beer.



More photos on Flickr.

Poland: the Wolsztyn Experience part 1

Based on my last couple of trips and memories of previous years, I can state categorically that coach travel is the most boring - slow traffic jams, nothing to look at on the motorways, comfort stops etc - and train travel the best, with high speeds and stations we pass through or change at in interesting towns and cities. Just saying…  From the train, Poland is tall churches and thin trees, fields of yellow rape and green barley, the odd deer or stork making an appearance, and elaborate allotments. You might even see a 'plinthed' (dead) steam loco or two along the way. Or lots, in the case of Wolsztyn. I'd seen a video on YouTube of the 'parade' - up to 17 locos hitched together passing at high speed, all whistles blowing, and a quick google led me to Railtrail's Poland Steam Explorer.



We were to set off on Tuesday 28 April and meet at 10am outside the Eurostar. I was nervous about delays so went up the night before and stayed over at Rob's in Mile End. I met a couple of the other tourists (spotted the luggage labels) and we set off for Brussels at 10.58, where we changed for the Koln train. In the shadow of the cathedral we changed again, for Hanover, and spent the night at the fabulous Andor Hotel Plaza, where I had my first vegetarian meal (pasta) and German beer. After an early start and a splendid breakfast of absolutely everything you could think of, including five types of honey, we set off for Berlin, where we changed for Poznan in Poland, throwing our cases off at Zbaszynek.



The reason for that was that we went on to Gniezno, to ride the narrow gauge line there. Unfortunately the steam loco wasn't available, so we had a diesel… but, I was allowed to drive it for a while, with the driver standing behind shouting instructions! Meanwhile in the first-carriage buffet, a woman was cooking up sausages and cabbage stuff for everyone. We veggies had to wait, but when it came we had fried fish and a stir fry of vegetables, all cooked from scratch in pots and pans. After the half trip, we travelled back to Poznan thence to Wolsztyn, to be greeted by dead locos on either side, then to the Motel Montana and a buffet supper, including what I discovered was more fried fish amongst the meat. My room was 31, in the end block.



More photos on Flickr.

Bletchley Park

I hadn't been on a proper coach trip for a while so when Chrissie suggested Bletchley Park - Home of the code-breakers - by Brighton and Hove Coaches, with departure at a reasonable 8.49am I went for it. The coach was about half an hour late arriving at Preston Circus, and we trundled up the M23, M25 and M40 before a stop at Beaconsfield services, which I must say was a very superior service station, with noodle and curry bars, a Patisserie Valerie (where we purchased huge croissants for £1.15 each - would have been better warm) and even a Wetherspoon's! (a bit too early for me)



At Bletchley Park, we were dropped off just inside the main gate and received our season tickets, valid for a year, then it was into the Visitor Centre and our first Enigma machine. After some films and more exhibits, we grabbed our audio guide and emerged into the sunlight, heading towards the lake. There were lots of huts to explore, but first we ate our sandwiches to accordion music coming from one of many hidden speakers around the place. Every so often we'd hear a train toot from the direction of the mansion… we were near the main line, but a steam train? We found out later it was part of the soundscape installation.

 

First building to explore was Block B where a replica bombe was being demonstrated… I understood the limitations of the Enigma, such as if you pressed L it would never light up an L, but the rest went over my head!

 

The museum houses many more Enigmas, lots of Alan Turing stuff, including his teddy Porgy and rowing trophies, and the formidable Lorenz machine.

 

We visited several other huts, the most notable of which had Alan Turing's office in it and then it was into the magnificent mansion with its ornate carvings and stained glass windows.



What a lovely place to work! It was a hot day and it was nice just to sit on benches, watch the ducks and listen to the sound installations all around.

 

The mansion housed The Imitation Game exhibition, including the fake bombe used in the film. We learnt that Colossus, well a replica, was in the National Museum of Computing just a few yards away as the stone is thrown, but separated from us by a fence. To visit it we'd have to go back to the visitor centre and round the periphery road. Ah well, another time. We also discovered that the Post Office exhibit was being chucked out of the compound, and that the only 'outside' volunteer exhibit remaining would be the carrier pigeon hut.



If you like motorbikes and old cars there are plenty dotted around, there are also huts featuring radio communications. The place was full of school kids learning about codes and ciphers - and there's enough to see for two days at least, far more than I was expecting! At 5pm we wandered back to the coach and it was down the M1 home, with a stop at Cobham services, where I bought some mini-spring rolls and spotted a truckers' open-air laundrette. I was knackered! The deal cost £36, including admission, which would have been £14.75 for concessions.



And if you were wondering what the British used for coding secret messages, the answer is the Typex, which the Germans never cracked.

More photos on Flickr.

Norman Rockwell at Dulwich

I didn't really know much about Norman Rockwell (and still don't!), but I was really looking forward to the exhibition at the Dulwich Picture Gallery and, boy, it does not disappoint - that man sure could paint - and draw! The biggest revelation was how big most of the pictures are, painted oil on canvas and - even though his early covers for the The Saturday Evening Post (founded by Benjamin Franklin) were only printed in black and red - all rendered in glorious Technicolor. How on earth did he transport them to the newspaper's offices, what about the drying time of the oils, how long did each one take to execute? In the first room is a fabulous picture of a 'dough boy' and some cheeky kids (on the front of the catalogue), with his early trademark white background. It has just enough red to be picked up by the process and it's enormous, and some other paintings on display seem to be life size! One long continuous wall of the show is covered literally with all 323 Saturday Evening Post covers he created between 1916 and 1963. What a client! (He did work for other clients too!) The sheer volume of work makes the originals part of the exhibition seem small by comparison, but there's enough there to show his skill: in both technique and composition, over and over again.


One of my favourites was Bridge game - the bid (1948) an aerial view in one-point perspectve showing all four hands of cards. The skin modelling is exemplary, using a cross-hatching technique reminiscent of the tempera work of Giotto (in fact there is a tempera piece by Rockwell towards the end of the show). But he's no photo-realist, like the Pre-Raphaelites. Look closely and you can see the hand of the artist in the beautiful brushwork - highly detailed around the faces and hands; looser elsewhere. And the few drawings exhibited show he was a dab hand with the pencil too. (It would have been nice to see the reference photos he used too.) In his later work, the compositions get more busy. April Fools - girl with shopkeeper (1948) is a Masquerade of detail that would occupy a spot-the-difference fan for hours. Some people dismiss Rockwell as kitsch, reactionary and sentimental - he is after all the anithesis of the Abstract Expressionists (a subject explored in the Kurt Vonnegut novel Bluebeard) - and there is one cover on show (sadly not the original) of a Connoisseur (1962) standing before the more critically appreciated Jackson Pollock. But in all honesty, as you leave the exhibition space to enter the Dulwich's permanent collection of Old Master paintings, those brown saints and aristocrats look drab and boring in comparison with Rockwell's pictorial exuberance.

It cost £8 entry (group rate). Although there was an excellent catalogue for sale (£22), the postcards were a disappointment! I didn't dare take any photos inside the exhibition. The coach trip was organised by the Brighton Illustrators Group and we had an enjoyable lunch at the nearby Crown and Greyhound (where they had Harvey's on tap!). The exhibition runs until 27 March 2011 - don't be such an art snob, go see it. You'll be amazed.

In Bruges

Coach on the Shuttle
Originally uploaded by fred pipes

I'll bet you thought I wasn't going on another coach trip? Well, my ex-secretary Chrissie was let down by a friend and so I found myself at Preston Circus at 6.45 on a Bank Holiday Monday morning on my way Abroad - by coach! The demographic was a lot more varied than before: as well as the pensioner couples, there were lots of younger people, beer-loving single men and some whose highlight of the trip I imagined was the chance to buy vast quantities of fags and baccy on the way home.

The trip was with Heritage 'Round and About Excursions' and cost an amazingly reasonable £26. The trip to Folkestone was painless, with only a couple of pick-ups (last one at Pease Pottage, where we changed driver to Bernie) and no motorway services stops. After a paper 'mug' of tea (£1.85) we were first on Le Shuttle - my first time - no passport control, no customs! The shuttle is a very very basic metal box with no concessions to passenger comfort (unless you are a car or truck driver) - there was a huge queue for the three toilets and I stood by a very small window for the 20-minute journey through the Eurotunnel. A pull-down seat would have been nice. Of course we could have sat in the coach, but it was hot inside and rolling about with the combined suspensions of the train and bus. No sign of passport control or customs at Calais, and I didn't even notice when we later crossed the border into Belgium.

At Bruges, it was across the bridge and into the town, which was a lot bigger than I'd imagined. First task was to buy postcards, next was a Wikitravel-recommended boat trip around the canals (€6.90). It started raining - and it got worse - the captain valiantly wiped down the seats and provided umbrellas but it got colder - and windier - as we progressed. Well worth it, though. Next it was a walk round town and a search for mussels and chips. I didn't have a map and couldn't find Tourist Information so we opted for La Dentelliere - one of the Tea Rooms we'd passed on the way in - right by where the horses and carriages set off. The food (and beer) were OK but pricey, and it was nice to shelter from the rain. Back on the coach for 15.45 (English time) we waited a statutory half an hour for a missing passenger then set off for P&J's, which I thought might be a supermarket, but turned out to be a chocolate factory. The main delight, however was out the back, where the (presumably) cut-price tobacco products were selling like hot cakes - some customers lugging out several big bags of cigarettes and rolling tobacco. I bought a bag of chocolate buttons with my remaining 3 euros and we set off for Calais, having picked up the now unpopular missing woman from another coach.

At Calais, we did have to disembark to show our passports, but there were no customs checks (Bank Holiday?) and it was back on the shuttle and home by 21.30. The mind was going overtime with the possible criminal opportunities afforded by the lax security (Peter James please note!). I was told by one regular that people who want to leave the UK undetected will often choose a day trip to Belgium. A very enjoyable day out, despite the early start, and once again an opportunity to chat and interact with the temporary community that is a Coach Trip.

Day trip to Orkney

Memento Mori
Originally uploaded by fred pipes

Did you think I'd finished with coach trips after my Welsh experience? Well, I'm not against coach trips per se, just ones that start in Brighton and involve long boring bum-numbing periods on congested motorways. I figured that the way to go was to get there by train, and then have the coach trip, and that's what I did here. After travelling to Inverness by sleeper, having a rail trip to Kyle of Lochalsh (and a quick dash to the Isle of Skye and back) and staying the night in a B&B (more in the next blog item), I dragged myself out of bed on 19 August 2009, missed breakfast and headed to the bus station for 7.30 to get a coach north. The day trip was organised by John O'Groats Ferries and cost a hefty £55 but packs a lot into the day. Over the next three hours we crossed bridges over firths and skirted the scenic east coast, passing through Helmsdale and Wick. No motorways here, just roller-coaster roads and stunning views. According to our tour guide this is the best place in the UK to take a driving test - not many roundabouts and few traffic lights (we were also told this about Orkney!).

I'd been warned that John o'Groats was grim, and it was - wet, windy and with no shelter apart from a couple of tiny gift shops and a tea van. It's not even the most northerly point in the UK, just one end of the longest road. The ferry was nowhere to be seen and I was wishing I'd packed more warm clothes, then suddenly out of the mist it was heading for the jetty. The facilities on-board the Pentland Venture were rudimentary, rows of cheap seating below deck and a 'shop' selling water, coke and tickets for Skara Brae (£5.50 for seniors). But it did have a proper porcelain toilet! The 40 minute passage was a bit choppy and soon we arrived at Burwick on the southern tip of the islands to join another coach. We then drove over the 'Churchill Barriers' - concrete causeways to keep German submarines out of Scapa Flow in the war. Apparently we'd sunk old ships to block the passage but in 1939 U-47 had snuck in and torpedoed HMS Royal Oak. Before these four barriers, it must have been difficult to get from island to island.

We had a couple of hours in Kirkwall, so I made for the cathedral of St Magnus, where I took pictiures of the memorial tablets all around the walls, each with a carved skull and crossbones. The cathedral cafe had a huge queue so I had a wander around, spotting the Wireless Museum (but you had to pay to get in so I didn't bother). The cheese and onion sandwiches made by the B&B were a god-send! Back on the coach we headed for Skara Brae, where I made a beeline for the cafe and a cappuccino before trekking down to the coast. The path there contained a timeline of historic events to show how very very old the Neolithic village was. From a distance it looked like a crazy golf course, with neat undulating patches of grass between the excavations. We saw Fred Flintstone's stone bed and stone dresser in the sunken ruins. Then it was onwards to the Ring of Brodgar, a large Neolithic stone circle around a patch of purple heather. After passing the Standing Stones of Stenness and the tomb of Maeshowe, we headed back through Kirkwall and on to the ornate Italian Chapel on Lamb Holm island, built by POWs from two Nissan huts and whatever materials they could lay their hands on. Most of the decoration was done by Domenico Chiocchetti, who remained after the war to finish it off. Apparently there was a narrow-gauge railway in the POW camp.

By now the weather and visibility had improved, but the voyage back to the mainline was so rough I had to go up on deck. The boat was rolling around madly and I had to hang on for dear life, but we saw seals and various interesting birds (don't ask!). Just as we approached Jo'G, the choppy 'white horses' gave way to strange long waves. After the long road journey back to Inverness, I popped in to the Castle Tavern for a pint of Flora MacDonald. An excellent day out- highly recommended!

Top tip: a bloke I was chatting to in the Skara Brae cafe said he'd bought his ticket online through a US travel agent, paying in dollars and thus saving a few bob on the exchange rate!

A wet weekend in Wales

Princess in the bar
Originally uploaded by fred pipes

My third coach trip weekend with Newmarket was to a very wet and windy North Wales. It was a day longer than the previous ones, but that meant that two days of holiday were sandwiched between two whole days of monotonous tedium (or was it tedious monotony - I did warn you in my top tips page) - early mornings, motorways, traffic jams and motorway services. Maybe it's a light and shade thing, you need the tiresome days to make the other days more exciting.

So on Friday 17 July, after a 6.30 start and a taxi to Madeira Drive, a group of us travelled by minibus to Crawley to join the main coach. On board was our Tour Guide Will, with a voice like Richard Wilson's in Tutti Frutti. After pick-ups in Sutton and Croydon, the coach made its way through central London. Three hours later we were in Brixton, caught in road works, and four hours later we were in South Mimms services for our first stop. After stops in Norton Canes (tea £1.95 - but they had free wifi!) and Chester services, we eventually arrived at our hotel, the Westminster, in rainswept Rhyl.

Now the photo on the brochure looks like it's in its own grounds, but it was cunningly shot from a tiny strip of flowers and palm trees on a wall by the bus station. Inside it was faded grandure, with food to match. My single room was tiny, despite paying a single supplement, overlooking the back so I was able to watch a couple of baby seagulls on a flat roof try to stay alive in the wind and rain. I thought one of them only had one leg, but it was probably trying to preserve heat! I know how it felt - I should have packed a scarf and wooly hat.

Day 2 (Saturday 18 July) started with a good hearty breakfast brought by chirpy scouse waitress: porridge, scrambled egg plus beans on toast. Then it was off to Llandudno to drop off those not going on our excursion. It would have been nice to have time there going up the Great Orme on the cable railway, for example, but no time even for a quick dash along the seafront. First stop was Caernarfon and a few minutes to buy a paper, look at the castle (there was some kind of military display going on) and then it was on to the Welsh Highland Railway to catch the 11.35 to Beddgelert (it doesn't yet join up with Porthmadog).

Joy of joys, the train came in pulled by a K1 Garrett, the first ever, built in Manchester to Mr Garratt's patent no. 12079-1909, and shipped out to Tasmania and thence to Wales. Now, I've never really liked narrow-gauge locos much - until now - this was a full-size loco on 2ft-gauge wheels! Half way along the line, at Rhdd Ddu, we saw another Beyer-Garratt coming the other way, this time a much bigger 2-6-2+2-6-2 (built 1937) in 'photographic grey'.

We alighted at Beddgelert and I had time for a half of dark mild in a pub with a Welsh name (the chap at the bar and the barmaid were also talking Welsh, so I hope they weren't being rude!) before we set off over the Llanberis Pass for views and a stop at Snowdon base camp at Llanberis. There was some kind of race going on by very thin lanky people up to the summit and back, but I spotted the Lake Railway train in the station so legged it and got on for a short ride to Penllyn and back pulled by the dinky No. 1 Elidir, a Hunslet 0-4-0ST. The youngish driver put a couple of baked potatoes into the smokebox for his tea. We saw a steam boat in the lake too.

I managed a quick look at the Snowdon Mountain Railway, but although there were two steam locos in the shed, the engine I saw setting off was a diesel No. 11 Peris. Then it was back in the coach to Rhyl and the hotel. They'd booked a lady singing entertainer so I retired to my room and Casualty 1909 (running late cos of the golf) on the tiny telly perched high in the corner of the room.



On Day 3 (Sunday 19 July) we drove straight to Portmeirion, a colourful Italianate village built by Sir Clough Williams-Ellis between 1925 and 1975. It's best known as being The Village in cult tv drama The Prisoner, starring Patrick McGoohan (with whom I share a birthday!). It's like Charleston Farmhouse on acid, with statues and wall paintings everywhere. And the houses are not just facades - people actually live in them! It's basically a long road that sweeps downhill to the estuary, with squares large and small off it. I had a cappuccino (a hefty £2.45) in Battery Square, but did get to read the Indy and write a couple of postcards in the drizzle. Of course I visited The Prisoner shop but didn't buy a No. 6 badge.

The coach then took us to nearby Porthmadog and I had a pint of Dark and Delicious (Carvedale Brewery) whilst admiring Princess, the world's first narrow gauge loco (1863), on static display in the bar. Then the train came in pulled by push-me pull-you loco 0-4-0+0-4-0T No. 10 Merddin Emrys, the oldest operating double Fairlie on the Ffestiniog Railway (it was built in 1879). The trip to Blaenau Ffestiniog is quite breathtaking, starting with The Cob, a long causeway, out of Porthmadog, then climbing up into the mountains, including the spiral loop at Dduallt. Spotted Blanche coming the other way at Tan-y-Bwlch.

At Blaenau Ffestiniog we crossed the line to take the Arriva diesel back to Llandudno Junction along the Conwy Valley Line, via Betwys-y-Coed (which looked a riot with all its miniature railways and trams) and Conwy Castle. The wind had dropped so I had a quick walk round the town, which apart from a nice Art Deco cinema (now the Apollo bingo hall) near the station, has little to recommend it, sorry. Back at the hotel, they'd booked a Frank Sinatra tribute act so I retired to my telly and emergency tins of Mackeson and hip flask.

On Day 4 the sun was out for the first time and it was time for the long drive home, revisiting Norton Canes and South Mimms motorway services on the way. This is probably the last coach trip like this I will take - the getting to and from the location are just too tedious to justify coach travel, I'd much rather take the train and join the coach trip when I get there, if that's possible.

Railways visited:

1. The Welsh Highland Railway: the best locos in my opinion and I will deffo go back when the line is completed.


2. The Llanberis Lake Railway: very scenic and enjoyable, but one to tick off.


3. The Snowdon Mountain Railway: only caught a glimpse, but would love to go back and let the train take the strain to the summit of England and Wales's highest peak.


4. The Ffestiniog Railway: well worth a visit, with very unusual double boiler locos and magnificent scenery.


5. The Conwy Valley Line: not a heritage railway as such, but reasonably scenic.

Top ten coach trip tips

Coach trips can be great and also exasperating. They have good points and bad points in about equal measure. Here are my thoughts. Five good things about coach trips:

1. They're cheap. Add up the cost of travel and accommodation (plus any attraction tickets) and you can't beat them on price.
2. They're convenient. Once you're on-board, you're driven everywhere more or less door-to-door. And you can visit places not usually accessible by public transport, ie out-of-the-way heritage railways.
3. You're looked after. There's a Tour Guide and driver on hand to fix things and impart information. You're not alone!
4. They're sociable. Especially if you are single. There's a community spirit on a coach trip with everone sharing the experience, but few 'Guardian readers' seem to go on them - expect Daily Mail type views sometimes from the older participants!
5. Scenic views. Coaches can go (sometimes with difficulty) where trains can't, and there are often stunning views to be seen.

Five bad things about coach trips:

1. You have to get up early. The start is usually at the crack of dawn and you have to get to the pick-up point (usually by taxi, which is an extra expense). There will then be an hour or so of pick-up stops before you get going. Each day will start early too.
2. You'll see a lot of motorways and motorway services. The driver has to take rest breaks and the passengers need 'comfort breaks'. Motorway services are a rip-off, with extortionate prices for drinks and food. Take sandwiches if you can! You'll also inevitably get caught up in road works, so take an iPod!
3. The hotels are rubbish. They are often in the back of beyond, near a motorway exit. Having said that, they are mostly comfortable and clean. The food is of limited choice and not exactly gourmet style, but there is always a veggy option. Dinner is usually at a set time; there will be a stop for you to find your own lunch.
4. The itinerary can be unpredictable. You can spend relatively short amounts of time at interesting locations and excessive amounts of time at relatively boring places, but this is obviously subjective. I like steam railways and go on steam railway holidays, but often all you get is a single journey on part of the line (a round trip is always prefereable) and no time to visit the sheds/museum etc.
5. You have to tip the driver and Tour Guide. And I never know what to give. A couple of quid each seems to work ok, pressed into their hands as you are leaving the coach!

Coach trips are intense experiences and can be tiring, despite mainly sitting down all day. I treat them as a recce opportunity. If I see somewhere I like then I may go back there at some point in the future and spend more time there - though I haven't yet done that. What do you think? Do you have any coach trip top tips? Notes: I have been on two weekend coach trips so far. The first was Rails Peaks and Fells, and this year's was to the North Yorkshire Moors, both with Newmarket, who advertise in local papers. I have also been on several day trips, usually with Worthing Coaches:

• Romney, Hythe and Dymchurch Railway this year.
• The Watercress Line (twice).
• The Isle of Wight (no railway content!).

RH & DR, part 2

Northern Chief
Originally uploaded by fred pipes

I have been a little lax on the blogging front lately, tho I've started another one on Wordpress, mainly to learn how to use the thing and put it through its paces. Many of my websites would be better off in the blog format, but the chore of transporting them over is too daunting!

What I didn't blog was my little jaunt on 8 May to the Romney, Hythe and Dymchurch Railway on a Worthing Coaches coach trip. My last and only visit there was in January 2006, when I didn't manage to get to Dungerness. I was hoping that this time I would - and maybe have fish and chips there. But alas no. The driver announced that we would travel from New Romney to Hythe and back, then have a ploughman's lunch at New Romney, then head home. The journey was rather tedious. I was picked up at Preston Circus (hoorah), then we headed north and along the M25 to Clackett Lane services for a comfort stop (boo). We then followed the Eurostar line towards Ashford and eventually arrived at New Romney where we boarded a train pulled by Northern Chief. Bluebottle was also in steam at the station, heading the other way for Dungerness. At Hythe, I watched the loco turn round on the turntable and took a couple of videos on my Flip Ultra. Then it was back to where we started for a pretty boring lunch. I had a wander about (spotted a static Black Prince) and popped upstairs to the model railway exhibit, then it was back on the coach. Going back we took the scenic route through the Romney Marshes, past the wind farm, and stopped off for half an hour at Hastings where I looked sadly at the out-of-service East Hill Lift and had a quick shufty at the Fishermen's Museum, the highlight of which was the Winkle King. A reasonably disappointing day, but it's always uplifting to see, smell and hear some steam!

An A4 at Alresford

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Originally uploaded by fred pipes

Belting through the green Hampshire countryside, we see a train in the distance. What's pulling it? Is it a diesel? A Spam can? No, bloody hell, it's a Streak, an A4 like Mallard the world speed record holder for steam! The world's second most beautiful locomotive (well, I am an LMS man, after all). As we arrive at Alresford station, the train is just pulling in. It's 60019 Bittern in Brunswick green British Railways livery. Wow! I'm on my second Worthing Coaches excursion, this time to the Watercress Line. As the other passengers amble off into town, I can't wait to get onto the platform. LMS Class 2MT 2-6-2T No. 41312 is in steam in a siding and I wait for Bittern to change ends to take some photos. Then I sit and eat my Boots sandwich as she quietly chuffs away. Our train is this one, but two hours later, so as Bittern headed off to Alton, I head off for a pint of Ringwood bitter at a local hostelry. Arlesford is a Georgian town and actually had a Post Office open, so I took advantage to buy some stamps.

Back at the station I crossed the footbridge to take a snap of the train coming in, wheels and all. Then it was on board for our cream tea, in the front coach. At Ropley I jumped up to cop the engines in the shed: BR standard class 5 4-6-0 No. 73096 and SR Merchant Navy Class 4-6-2 No. 35005 Canadian Pacific amongst others in various states of repair. At Alton I popped out to take more photos and on the way back we passed a lonely DMU with zero passengers on board! Then it was into the coach for a scenic ride home. Never did get any watercress!

Isle of Wight

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Originally uploaded by fred pipes

For my second coach adventure (I have yet to use my national bus pass!) I travelled to the Isle of Wight (never been there before) on Sunday with Worthing Coaches. I really really hate getting up early, but managed to cycle down to town for the 7.40am start and felt pretty rough as it trundled west, picking up passengers from towns mentioned in Lemon Jelly's 'Ramblin' Man' - Rustington, Southwick, Goring, Ferring, Angmering (well, not really, only Angmering is mentioned in the song and we didn't stop there). After passing Arundel and Chichester we arrived at the Southsea ferry terminal for the 10am cruise. I avoided the tea queue and sat on deck drinking miso soup from my flask and watching strange round forts float by in the misty distance. It's only a short half-hour hop (even quicker by hovercraft) and you can see the other side as soon as you take off! We docked at Fishbourne and were quickly on the road to Ryde and along the southern edge of the island, which was much hillier than I'd imagined. We stopped for lunch at steep Shanklin (never did discover where the beach was!), so I bought postcards of the Six or Seven Wonders (depending on which postcard) of the Isle of Wight (Needles you cannot thread, etc), and waited for The Crab to open at 12. Grabbed a pint of Goddard's and ordered a crab sandwich, which was huge. It was warm enough to sit outside, but generally the weather was a bit overcast and damp. Then we were off west down narrow lanes to see the real thing. The view of The Needles from Alum Bay is not great - to get a good view you really need to take a boat trip. Then it was back west, stopping at Godshill for tea. It's one of those villages invented for coach trips, with a huge car park and nearly every building a tea shop. I was attracted by the offer in The Hollies of a toasted tea cake and cup of tea for two quid. I followed this with a two quid ice cream (rum 'n' raisin) made by the Minghella family. I didn't pay to go in the toy museum, nor the model village, but did buy two scuptural looking succulents for 70p each. Then it was back to Fishbourne for the ferry. The weather was getting rough and I snapped a rainbow over Ryde pier before a squall came whipping in, so watched the water sloshing round the decks from inside with a can of McEwens (no draught beer). We followed a big Brittany ferry into Portsmouth, where we got a glimpse of the Spinnaker Tower and HMS Warrior, then home to catch the last episode of Foyle's War. Thanks Dave! I gave him a two quid tip. I'm not sure about these things, but seem to remember that you always tip the coach driver!