Curt's poem

As promised here's the poem Curtis wrote: Alan (Fred) Pipes A 60th birthday tribute Let me tell you about Alan, I mean, Fred- Fred is a journalist, Fred is a whiz. Fred hacks computers, Fred does 'the biz.' Fred's a celeb, A website enigma; Fred's got no problems, It's you with the stigma! Fred does good drawing, Fred snaps road signs, Fred colours in well, Never over the lines. Life and soul at the party, Fred is the best, Never the host, but always The guest. Fred likes Elvis, Fred is a jazzer; Fred likes Jo, Angie and Kazza. Fred likes his illustrators In the English tradition, Fred likes Grimwood's paint strokes, But prefers them done by Titian. Fred is unique, Biking 'urban' he has mastered, Fred does extreme sport, In cycle lanes when he is plastered! Fred does recycling, And Fred is green; Fred is strong, and Fred is lean. Fred is bald, He has no hair, Fred wears glasses, But he doesn't give a shit (He don't care). Because- Fred is loved, And he's our lover. Fred is unnoticed, incognito, Sort of undercover; Except when his cover's blown, Like his namesake, Pipes; So let me tell you a little bit more About our Fred, and what turns on His lights. A man sees a pretty girl, He wants to snog her; Fred sees a pretty girl, He wants to blog her. Just to put her on his laptop, Stroke the glowing mouse; Quaff a glass of red, And when the computer's fan starts whirring, It's time to think of bed. But first catches up on 'Corrers', Eastenders, Gets lathered up on weekly soaps, Pours nightly cocoa, warms his slippers, Reads an arty tome and soundly hopes That tomorrow will bring more Fortune and fame, A free bus-pass, caressing the best of What life has to hold, Not bad for a lad Who's still in short trousers, Even though he's just sixty years old! Curtis Tappenden, 25.03.07 Performed with a toast at Fred's Birthday Soiree, Dragonfly House, Brighton.