25.5.07

East Beach Cafe


East Beach Cafe
Originally uploaded by fred pipes.

The pensioners of Littlehampton must be a very fit bunch - the beach is miles from the town centre! I took a break from my busy schedule yesterday to go on a bus pass expedition to see the East Beach Cafe, due to open in June. The bus journey on the 700 Coastliner took a staggering two hours to get to the sleepy resort, then I had a long trek along the prom (with talking lamp posts ordering cyclists to dismount!), but it was well worth it - the mild steel cafe designed by Thomas Heatherwick looks great, and well done to Littlehampton for making it happen. I had a great toasted teacake at the nearby Bowling Green Cafe (the saucy Polish waitress reminded me of the Harry Enfield sketch) but sadly the LMR (Littlehampton Miniature Railway) wasn't working. Next week: Bognor!

24.5.07

Bonzo films


Bonzo films
Originally uploaded by fred pipes.

Lots of celeb spotting recently. At the (Argus award-winning) Count Arthur Strong - 'The Musical' at Komedia on Sunday, guess who was in the audience (apart from the usual Brighton luvvies)? None other than Michael Aspel of Antiques Road Show! Last night, up in the Big Smoke for 'A night with the Bonzos' at the National Film Theatre, I was excited to see Paul Weller of The Jam in the bar, looking more like Rod Stewart every day! When Nick arrived he pointed out that the chap with him was Graham Coxon of Blur! There was another chap with ukulele who looked a bit like a young Ray Davies, but noone could ID him. At the Bonzos film show, Sam Spoons and Roger Slater were there in person and it was good to see lots of clips on the silver screen, including some never released songs: 'Love is a cylindrical piano', 'High School Hermit' and a backwards version of 'How much is that doggy in the window'! Climax was going to be 'Adventures of the son of the exploding sausage', which I'd never seen in its entirity. It was dreadfully disappointing! With a cast of Viv and the Bonzos, to make such an awful film is some achievement! No words, no script, just the lads mucking about on a farm with some kids, their low-budget version of 'Magical Mystery Tour' (a clip of which was also shown). Back outside in the bar, Paul's gang was joined by part-time Bonzo Phill Jupitus. Nick wondered if Paul might include some Bonzos covers on his next album! Off to The Hole in the Wall (as mentioned in 'Blind Date') for a couple of pints of Adnams Explorer, then the tedious train journey back to the seaside.

19.5.07

Harry Hill


Harry Hill
Originally uploaded by fred pipes.

Met another of my heroes last night - Harry Hill doing a signing for 'Tim the Tiny Horse' at the Old Market, Hove. He did a perfect stand-up set, catering for both the kids and their parents, then patiently signed all our books. Signings are great events (remember Alexei Sayle?): you get a top bit of stand-up in a smallish venue, then get to meet your idol! 'Tim Rice, Tim Curry? What is it about the name Tim and Indian food? Kate Moss, Kate Bush...' Tim the Tiny Horse however eats Hula Hoops (beef barbeque flavour) and was all drawn by fountain pen, Harry told me as he drew a Hula Hoop on my book. I noticed he had some of his jokes (including the splendid visual joke about the castle designer's laptop) written on the side of his hand. On stage he'd done a DIY session, starring two giggling goth girls ('don't milk it' muttered Harry) to demonstrate it wasn't as easy as you think to write a book, unlike 'You've been framed', which he said was money for old rope. Thanks to Kazza for lending me a surrogate family: Sean, Tom and their friend Owen. Thanks also to the Old Market for a decent pint of Harvey's..

13.5.07

Kocani Orkestar


Kocani Orkestra
Originally uploaded by fred pipes.

Continuing the big band theme of the Brighton Festival, last night I saw Macedonian wedding band King Naat Veliov and the Original Kocani Orkestar - their only UK gig - courtesy again of BBC Southern Counties radio. Led by composer and trumpeter 'King' Naat himself, this seven-piece brass band made their name on the soundtrack of Borat and Emir Kusturica's film Time of the Gypsies. They also made life hard for the security staff at the Dome, who'd been instructed, I presume, to escort anyone daring to dance in the aisles out of sight to the rear of the venue! They soon gave up this unpopular policy and everyone was on their feet by the encores. There were a few Macedonian flags around, a cross between a red union jack and a sunburst, and King Naat's Balkan beats certainly brightened up a chilly evening in Brighton, despite the Dome killjoys. But why do I always associate 'macedonian' with those tins of tasteless diced carrots and peas of my youth?

The evening started well with the American duo A Hawk and a Hacksaw, augmented by Budapest quartet The Hun Hangar Ensemble. The set opened with violinist Heather Trost and Balazs Unger on cymbalom (a cross between a dulcimer and xylophone) alone on stage, with Jeremy Barnes on accordian parading through the audience (and briefly pinching my pint) followed by the rest of the Hungarians, on drums, sax and trumpet. On stage, the sax player and trumpeter doubled up on violin, and we were even treated to the Balkan bagpipes! The drummer switched to three-string bass and Barnes played drum and cymbal with his feet. Probably the more interesting of the two bands - hear them on MySpace - their name apparently comes from Miguel de Cervantes’ novel Don Quixote - someone who has gone mad can't tell the difference between a hawk and a hacksaw! Ten out of ten to the Dome for serving Dark Star 'Festival' ale straight from the barrel.

12.5.07

Ladyboys

Well, I was interviewed live by Allison Ferns of BBC Southern Counties radio last night (I now have my own page now as one of the 15 Faces of Brighton). Guess where? In the tent of the Ladyboys of Bangkok with the rain pelting down outside! They certainly can put on a show! Surely there are some real ladies in the show? Off to the Nelson after for Susan Sainsbury's birthday do and a proper pint of Harvey's Hadlow bitter.

11.5.07

C-90

Daniel Kitson is a strange chap: when he does stand-up, he has a mouth even fouler than Roy 'Chubby' Brown's, but his 'story shows' are much gentler. C-90 was a hot ticket at Edinburgh last year - I nearly saw it, but when we turned up at the Traverse, the tickets were for another night! BBC Southern Counties radio very kindly got me a comp to review the 'reconceived' show in the Argus Basement last night. First shock was that we'd be sitting on the floor, albeit on carpet! Those that had read the Argus preview brought cushions. The 'installation' where the action took place was a 'room' lined with shelves full of cassettes and we entered through a wardrobe! After a young lady usher had warned us to go to the toilet now and walked DK's route though the limbs of the audience, the scruffy Yorkshireman arrived and launched into his story of Henry, the custodian of a mysterious collection of lost compilation tapes, a bit like the photo library in Stephen Poliakoff's TV play Shooting the past. The delivery was punctuated by tales of other sad and lonely village characters: a lollipop lady Milly (as in humiliation), a vet, a librarian. Henry was a 'chronicler of hope', cataloguing the audio cassettes meticulously (a whole section was marked 'Sorry'), but oddly he'd never listened to any of his exhibits. Then today, two parcels had arrived: one with a tape, the other with a player. He was determined to discover who sent them dot dot dot. DK's love of long words reminded me more of Les Dawson than Under Milk Wood, but he's much more animated, moving around and talking at high speed. The tales were quite sweet and endearing (I only counted two fucks and a shit the whole evening!) - so I wondered if the audience of mostly Sussex ladies could take 75 minutes of his stand up? No bar, by the way.

10.5.07

Des cake


Des cake
Originally uploaded by fred pipes.

I was at Curtis Tappenden's excellent PV last night, when I was presented with this wonderful cake, made by Hilda and decorated by Des Buckley - too good to eat! It says 'Growing older youthfully' around the base. I think Curt got one too for his 40th...

8.5.07

Odemba OK Jazz All Stars


Odemba OK Jazz All Stars
Originally uploaded by fred pipes.

How could you not like the Odemba OK Jazz All Stars? How could you not keep still? It must be in our genes to be moved by African music. And they were so so entertaining too - two large lovely ladies in glittery dresses and two little men in sharp suits and winklepicker shoes fronted a big band of two sax players, two twirling trumpeters, two guitarists, a very modern looking Bo Diddley bass and an enormous drummer! The 'chief' and MC wore a fantastic white George Melly suit and silver shoes. I'm afraid I didn't catch any of their names and couldn't understand a word of the songs (was one about Asda, another about the three parts of a fish?) - was it in French? But they were described as a Buena Vista Social Club of the Congo, keeping alive the rumba style. They did two hour-long sets in the refurbished Sallis Benney Theatre and this was one of only two UK gigs; the other in Poole! The climax of the night was a line-dancing lesson involving lots of arse shaking and a stage invasion, Africa style. Marvelous! It was being recorded for Andy Kershaw's BBC Radio 3 show, to be broadcast Monday 28 May.

7.5.07

Art cake


Art cake
Originally uploaded by fred pipes.

Managed to cop nine Artists Open Houses yesterday. Popped into Curtis Tappenden's at 17 Clyde Road on the way to the paper shop, then it was on my bike (pushing it mostly) up to Seven Dials. First stop was Ben Allen's huge house on 12 Montpelier Crescent - lots of big bold paintings and screenprints, plus print work by Jane Sampson of BIP, Kary Fisher (bought two of her 'seven deadly sins' cards) and Rosie Irvine (Rick of Rin Tin Tin's daughter). Then onward to BiG member Oliver Hyde's small but perfectly formed Square Enough exhibition at 13 Granville Road - lovely lovely stuff, bought set of badges. Right opposite, at 14, is Cecil Rice's house and his wonderful albeit samey watercolours of Venice and the West Pier all bathed in sunset. Reminded me a bit of Cyril Farey. On my bike again (missing a couple!) to The Glass House at 3 Silverdale Road to see the biggest concentration of beautiful women artists in Brighton. Only Kim and Krysia Drury were in attendance unfortunately (no Pru, Kary or Teresa today!) but I consoled myself with a cream tea and one of Kim Glass's award-winning scones. On my way to Chanctonbury Road I questioned my strategy of going to places I already knew, so spontaneously stopped to visit a house on the way but wasn't very impressed (no name, no packdrill). At Artists Live Here, 15 Chanctonbury Road, I treated myself to a slice of Terri Bell-Halliwell's lemon polenta cake - sublime! Unfortunaely West Hill Community Hall wasn't open and I'd already been to the PV at 6 Clifton Street on Friday night so I zoomed downhill all the way into town and visited the treasure that is the Sussex County Arts Club, off Bond Street, not to be confused with the other so-called arts club on Ship Street. Only one Simeon Stout this year, but three beautiful life paintings by Bill Donohoe. After using their ancient cudgy, it was back home, quickly popping in to The Dragonfly House to look for any more red dots!

As mentioned above, I attended a PV at 6 Clifton Street on Friday night, one of the premier league Open Houses and an essential visit. Chatted to Bernard Lodge, a pioneer of computer graphics, who was showing linocuts and other prints. Got well oiled then cycled to Kate Osborne's house at 32 Stanford Avenue for her PV. Had some absolutely gorgeous squash cake (no photo) in the kitchen and was invited to admire Jon Mills' 1949 BSA Bantam (bought off eBay). Last year it was chickens, this year Kate's watercolours are of winged bugs! Wonderful.

Last night it was The Dragonfly House PV and I spent an enjoyable evening with friends old and new (and had the odd drink or two) - and found out I'd sold one of my Shoreham prints! Woo Yay! There are 198 open houses in the Brighton Festival this year and I've only seen 11 of them so far, with one weekend down. I challenge someone to do the lot in four weekends next year!

cream_tea

3.5.07

The Dragonfly House


The Dragonfly House
Originally uploaded by fred pipes.

It's the start of the Brighton Festival this weekend and the Artists' Open Houses are getting ready for four weekends of culture. The Dragonfly House, where I have been offered a corner of wall space for my prints, has already erected a Geodesic art installation from recycled materials by Nick Sayers entitled 'To live' on top of the garage. A local child wondered if a hermit was going to live in there for the duration of the festival?

West Somerset Railway


West Somerset Railway
Originally uploaded by fred pipes.

A big bonus of attending All Tomorrow's Parties at Butlin's Minehead was the opportunity to ride the West Somerset Railway from Minehead to Bishops Lydeard (almost to Taunton) - at around 23 miles the longest privately owned passenger rail line in the UK - and back. I dragged Nick and Rob along, but I think they secretly enjoyed it. I had the worst cup of coffee ever on the train topped by lumps of congealed milk skin (the attendant had regailed Nick with tales of the Beatles filming parts of A hard day's night at Blue Anchor and Crowcombe Heathfield). Saw loads of pheasants and other wild life and had a veggie pasty and bottle of Brown Owl from the buffet on the way back. We were pulled by 2-6-0 9351, which had been rebuilt from GWR 5101 Class 2-6-2T 5193 (the new number is an anagram of the original, the driver told me). At Williton, we saw the train travelling in the opposite direction was being pulled by GWR 4575 Class 2-6-2 5553. GWR 2884 Class 2-8-0 3850 was in steam at Minehead and various other Westerns were spotted. Nice to see locos exclusively native to the region. A fantastic way to spend Saturday morning - I even got a discount for showing my Senior Railcard.

The Only Ones


The Only Ones
Originally uploaded by fred pipes.

One of the biggest regrets of my life was leaving The Only Ones' last ever gig at the Lyceum before the encores to run for a train home to Guildford. Now 26 years later, when I heard they were reforming to play at All Tomorrow's Parties at Butlin's Minehead, I just had to get there. Luckily there was a space in Nick Hider's chalet and as ATP had been described as a Glastonbury for ageing punks I decided to give it a go (at my age!). I needn't have worried, Minehead was a pleasant place, with a steam railway (the subject of another blog entry in case your eyes are beginning to glaze over!), and Butlin's, tho it had seen better days (where was the monorail?), a great venue. The Only Ones were the very first band on, at 7pm on the Friday, and consequently we could get right to the front leaning on the crash barrier. There were rumours that Peter Perrett could only do a couple of songs before having to lie down, so we were apprehensive. As it happened they came on half an hour late (Peter had to be woken up!) and did a full hour's set, with all the favourites, including the 'Vodaphone song' that all the kids recognised as penultimate. John Perry's guitar work was spectacular (check out his blog) and the whole experience brought tears to the eyes. All I remember was the ones they didn't do, like 'Someone who cares' and there was one song I didn't recognise, but I never thought this would ever happen - first the Bonzos reforming, then The Jam (almost) now The Only Ones touring... everything else must be a bonus. We listened to The Dirty Three over fish and chips, then into the rest of the festival. Best of the rest? Joanna Newsom and the bloke who wrote the soundtrack to Amelie, Yann Tiersen - the way it was laid out in three venues made it easy to tick off bands, speed gigging! Review in the Indy. Tips: the only bar to serve proper beer is The Sun and Moon (try the Exmoor Gold) - they also do cashback - all the other venues only sell Tetleys or Carling , ie piss or piss. My only gripe! Oh, and Nick's team won another weekend away in the pop quiz! More later...

25.4.07

Brian & Elvis


Brian & Elvis
Originally uploaded by fred pipes.

Last night was the launch party of the Artists Open Houses website and brochure in the Paganini ballroom of the Old Ship Hotel in downtown Brighton. It was a masked do, with wonderful invites designed by Jo Moore, and my mate Brian Grimwood (seen above with yours truly - without a drink!) designed the cover of the brochure (at long last). Thanks to Sarah Kelly for buying me the Elvis mask - I knew it would come in handy one day! Prize for best masks was awarded by Mr Mayor to my dear friends and social secretaries Peter Chrisp and Lisa Wolfe. (Note: that's Angie from The Dragonfly House, where I'll be exhibiting, on stage too)

Prize masks

21.4.07

Screenprints

fred_shoreham2
fred_shoreham2
Originally uploaded by fred pipes.

May is getting nearer and everyone is preparing for the Brighton Festival, particularly the Festival of Artists' Open Houses (AOH). As usual, Marc and Angie of The Dragonfly House, at the end of my street and part of the Beyond the Level trail, have offered me a corner of their house to display my artwork, which this year will include a couple of screenprints I produced at BIP. BIP is a great place stuffed with antique pressses and equipment - some artists almost live there! The prints are a result of a course I did with Jane Sampson, one of BIP's co-founders, finished off last week with a couple of afterthoughts in green! They were both done by cutting out red film with a scalpel and the screens exposed under ultra-violet light, with hardly any computer involvement! I love the way they are all hand-made and slightly different.

libellule

5.4.07

In our hands


In our hands
Originally uploaded by fred pipes.

It's not often you get a cup of tea, biscuits and a free plant to take away at a PV, but this was a morning one, in the open air outside St Peter's Church, for the inveiling of 'Brightons' only living sculpture' 'In our hands' by Harry Potter illustrator Cliff Wright and environmental artist Kathryn Jordon. It's a head and hand emerging from the grass covered in one of my favourite plants, the House Leek (Sempervivum). I missed the speeches, but we were entertained by a balloon man and the Silver Sounds samba band, starring Clarion member Sheila Schaffer. It was commissioned by Brighton and Hove's Eco-City in Bloom.

28.3.07

Gus plus


gusplus2
Originally uploaded by fred pipes.

Went to the Marlborough Theatre last night to see me old mate Gus 'Legendary bass player' Garside perform at a Spirit of Gravity gig. It'd already started promptly when I arrived, but I saw him play with a couple of laptop guys - Thor Magnusson and I think Dan Powell - a live processing of double bass. Gus performs regularly at Safehouse and in In Sand, but is currently the only musician on the planet not to have a MySpace site.

He was followed by a laptop guy called Chevron who was a bit relentless and gave me a headache. Top of the bill was Bela Emerson, who played a futuristic cello and twiddled and tapped loads of foot pedals, doing what Gus usually does without the laptop guys, sampling and looping I believe it's called. She also had a go on the musical saw and a guitar-sized cello type thing with lots of strings that may well have been a viol. Melita took some great snaps of her and put them on her blog. Rather good, albeit a bit repetitious, as you'd expect! No real ales, had to drink Fosters - yuk! (Could have had a Continental-style lager, but as they all taste like piss, I went for the cheapest.)

Curt's poem

As promised here's the poem Curtis wrote: Alan (Fred) Pipes A 60th birthday tribute Let me tell you about Alan, I mean, Fred- Fred is a journalist, Fred is a whiz. Fred hacks computers, Fred does 'the biz.' Fred's a celeb, A website enigma; Fred's got no problems, It's you with the stigma! Fred does good drawing, Fred snaps road signs, Fred colours in well, Never over the lines. Life and soul at the party, Fred is the best, Never the host, but always The guest. Fred likes Elvis, Fred is a jazzer; Fred likes Jo, Angie and Kazza. Fred likes his illustrators In the English tradition, Fred likes Grimwood's paint strokes, But prefers them done by Titian. Fred is unique, Biking 'urban' he has mastered, Fred does extreme sport, In cycle lanes when he is plastered! Fred does recycling, And Fred is green; Fred is strong, and Fred is lean. Fred is bald, He has no hair, Fred wears glasses, But he doesn't give a shit (He don't care). Because- Fred is loved, And he's our lover. Fred is unnoticed, incognito, Sort of undercover; Except when his cover's blown, Like his namesake, Pipes; So let me tell you a little bit more About our Fred, and what turns on His lights. A man sees a pretty girl, He wants to snog her; Fred sees a pretty girl, He wants to blog her. Just to put her on his laptop, Stroke the glowing mouse; Quaff a glass of red, And when the computer's fan starts whirring, It's time to think of bed. But first catches up on 'Corrers', Eastenders, Gets lathered up on weekly soaps, Pours nightly cocoa, warms his slippers, Reads an arty tome and soundly hopes That tomorrow will bring more Fortune and fame, A free bus-pass, caressing the best of What life has to hold, Not bad for a lad Who's still in short trousers, Even though he's just sixty years old! Curtis Tappenden, 25.03.07 Performed with a toast at Fred's Birthday Soiree, Dragonfly House, Brighton.

27.3.07

Bus Pass


Bus Pass
Originally uploaded by fred pipes.

Bus Pass! Yes, I finally got mine, and many many thanks to everyone who came to help me celebrate the fact on Sunday. Thanks to Marc and Angie of The Dragonfly House for hosting the soiree at their gaff, to Palaeobus of Worthing for supplying the Magical Mystery Tour in former Southdown National BCD 802L, and Brian Grimwood of The Butchers of Blues for letting me hijack his gig at The Albert. Sorry if I appeared flustered at the start (people were queuing to get in!) and I hope you enjoyed Angie's spread! Prize for furthest travelled goes to No 1 son and heir Sam for flying down from Edinburgh. Second prize goes to Graham Clarke who drove down from Harrogate, via Guildford. Oldest partygoer was Doris, Sam's granny, who at 82 was jiving with the best of them. Finally, a big thank you to Curtis Tappenden for his tribute poem, which will be reproduced on this blog as soon as it is typed. A DVD of the gig will be available soon, and if you want the playlist for the bus (which included the excellent track 'Bus Pass' by Anal Beard) let me know.

Thank you for all your lovely cards and pressies - Paul Cemmick did me the most fantastic card, reproduced in two parts, here (click to enlarge). More pix on Flickr soon.
cemmick1
cemmick2

14.3.07

Pallant House

A strange coincidence! I took a day off yesterday to visit Pallant House in Chichester before the William Roberts exhibition expired. I took my bike on the train and was beginning to despair finding anywhere to park (I'd already been told off for cycling in a pedestrianised street!) when I came across a post set back enough not to be a danger to blind people. Inside I had a pleasant surprise - it was half-price on Tuesdays (I had meant to come last weekend when admission was free, but there was engineering works on the line)! So, I stopped off at the modern cafe (decorated with a Patrick Caulfield) for soup and a beer. Next door was an exhibition of 1940s prints for schools with a lovely LS Lowry (Punch and Judy) and an hilarious John Nash of farmers chasing rabbits so they could harvest the field. Upstairs was lots of Brit pop art (more Caulfield, Peter Blake, Richard Hamilton) and two temp exhibitions: Bomberg and his crew, with the giant red, white and blue Vorticist piece 'The mud bath', usually at the Tate, dominating. The other works were more Cézanne, and the Borough Group room included a very crusty Frank Auerbach. The three rooms of William Roberts were pure delight. He paints blobby Stanley Spencer type figures with detached limbs (ideal for animating) arranged geometrically right in your face all on the same plane. I loved the last picture of seagulls (I went through his show backwards) painted in the 1970s - a Vorticist to the end! A 'working class' eastender, he painted Brits at work and play, at the cinema, watching telly, playing football and sunbathing. I was just about to leave Pallant House when I noticed a dark doorway. It led into the old house, of creaky floors and subdued lighting. In this labyrinth were even more treasures. Everyone from 20th century British art was represented: Ravilious, Sickert, Burra, Gertler, you name it. Up the stairs (lined with Susie MacMurray's installation of mussel shells, each containing red velvet), I opened the door and was back in the modernist half by a huge rug by Langlands & Bell of an office block in Rio... Wonderful. Out in the sunshine, I had a quick tour round the cathedral (nice Graham Sutherland painting, some Roman mosaics and a patch of grass in the cloisters called Paradise). Then back on a train full of schoolkids to Brighton. My camera was still set to low-light gig photography, so the snaps I took were rubbish! The coincidence? In the evening, I went to the Sussex Arts Club to see my old friend Jackie Wills read poetry. It was jammed full for a poetry gig I thought, and hmmmph the Harvey's was off. I've never forgiven the Arts Club for emulsioning over the 1930s murals (a cloudy sky in the dome and galleons on the walls) from when it was the Motor Yacht Club (it still retains the ancient targetted urinals in the gents, however). Turned out this was an evening organised by Chichester University creative writing course. Despite being tantalisingly called Pie-Fi, there were no pies on sale! We were treated to music, performing arts X-factor style most of it (quite unlike a Pog or Quietcore gig), tho pleasant enough, intersperced by poets, notably by Jackie (who despite a cold held her own with new tales of adultery) and her friend Lorna Thorpe (Dancing to Motown). Jay Clifton read a story based on an Everly Brothers song title, with driving guitar accompaniment, of sex and scooters, and Northerner Dave Swann talked about his experiences working with prisoners. The songs that punctuated, tho, were a bit more Folsom State Prison than Nottingham gaol.

11.3.07

The Wraiths


The Wraiths
Originally uploaded by fred pipes.

A new venue! New to me, anyway. The West Hill Village Hall is tucked away behind a residential street, not far from Seven Dials. The lady organisers had decked out this delightful urban hall with tablecloths, tea and cakes (so had to pop out to the Co-op to get some BYO booze). They also have a nice line in posters.

Supporting acts were both miserablists, however, and had Lisa and Peter crying into their drinks. The Diamond Family Archive was beardy bloke being miserable on an electro-acoustic guitar and sampler, and Jason Pegg of Clearlake was being miserable on piano. We crave cheery chiaroscuro in the set list: light and shade, light and shade... Spirits were lifted by The Wraiths, a boy girl duo from Bristol who 'put old poems to music' according to their MySpace site. Bought their lovely CD 'This is Charing Cross' for 8 quid. Was drunk in charge of a bicycle on the way home.

Much the same serious crowd were at a Quietcore gig at the Freebutt last Tuesday, which was also mainly slow and miserablist, quite the opposite of a Pog gig. Using my Sherlock Holmes powers of deduction (he was the subject of one of the Catalyst Club talks last Thursday), I deduced that the opener was Andrew Clare from Pine Forest who played a single instrumental ('Tumbling through ne...') that reminds me of a free-form jazz classic I can't remember. He was followed by Davidd Winter singing self-depracating ditties to a guitar so out of tune it sounded like that of a 78rpm delta blues artiste. Peter Moyse was a joy to listen to, but Ginger Lee and her rendition of 'My old man' made it well worth the wait. Only four songs, but it was a free gig after all and the beer was cheap.

If you need cheering up after all this angst, the funniest TV programme at the moment has to be Aardman's Shaun the Sheep with its catchy signature tune, sung in his Northern club crooner voice by Vic Reeves. My favourite episode so far is the one about pizzas, featuring a red double decker bus. I love the farmer's voice and can understand every word he says!