Edinburgh 2023

Tuesday 15 August
By Lumo to Edinburgh
On a seat with no view!
Spotted Flying Scotsman outside the NRM York

Pint at Cloisters

Wednesday 16 August

Andre and Dorine

Assembly Rooms, George Street

A mime/ puppet show about dementia

Amazingly there were only three actors (lots of papier-mache heads!)

Sam Campbell, Bulletproof Ten
Pleasance Grand

A one-night only 10-minute show (13 minutes actually) for £2

Junk for small plates street food dinner

Thursday 17 August

Day trip to Rothesay, Isle of Bute via Wemyss Bay and Glasgow Central,

train and ferry where they were filming a BBC show Dinosaurs

Friday 18 August 
When the apple ripens, Peter Howson at 65 City Art Centre. Grim

Simon Munnery, Stay Safe Stand 1

Pakora Bar for dinner

BBC Fresh from the Fringe, Dynamic Earth
Kiri Pritchard-McLean, Tadiwa Mahlunge, Dan Tiernan, Adam Rowe, Lorna Rose Treen and Lindsey Santoro. The guy with the beard was funniest IMO

Saturday 19 August 
Modern art galleries on 13 bus and Charley lunch

Alberta Whittle creating dangerously at Modern 1
Decades: the art of change 1900-1980 at Modern 2

Dimanche,
Church Hill Theatre

Physical theatre about climate change with amazing weather effects

Sunday 20 August 
Daniel Kitson, First Thing (Work in progress), Roundabout at Summerhall

Up at the crack of dawn to see Daniel Kitson at Summerhall in First thing ( work in progress) in the round in the Roundabout. Everyone got a script with lines highlighted, mine was script 67 and the line was 'cock rings and candy floss? ' I normally hate audience participation but we didn't have to leave our seats so it was ok. He deconstructed the thing as he went along. It's not a play he said - or stand-up -but the audience (reading from a script he wrote) disagreed!

Home for the England football final

Tram to Fishmarket restaurant, Newhaven,

Robin Ince, Melons

Stand New Town Theatre, George Street

Punching a melon!

Monday 21 August
Mervyn Stutter's 30th year gala, Pleasance Grand
Ed Byrne, Jo Caulfield, mentalist Colin Cloud, A comedy of operas, Spirit of Ireland, Yes-Ya-Yebo, Show Stopper, Havana Street Party
Meet Jayne and Lauren, Pleasance bar
Chaakoo (Indian) for dinner.

Tuesday 22 August 
Rob Auton The Rob Auton show

Gentle autobiographical stand up/spoken word. He even mentions his cock ring! Now where have I heard that before?

Assembly Roxy

Talbot Rice Gallery I hate pitch-black rooms!

Sora Lella Vegan Italian for dinner.…

Wednesday 23 August

Home on the Lumo and yet another joke seat!

More on James Miller

More photos on Flickr 

Edinburgh 2018

Again, just an itinerary:

Wednesday 8 August 2018
Travel via St Pancras and Kings X with a cheeky pint at the Parcel Yard, to Waverley
19.30 Waiting for Godot at the Lyceum
Much more entertaining than I expected!



Thursday 9 August
Art bus day
To The Museum of Modern Art 2  (the Dean) for Emile Nolde
and the other one for more art
National Gallery for Rembrandt (very brown) and Barbara Rae's North-west passage
19.10 Limmy's Vines at the Stand New Town Theatre Grand Hall... 'Fine wine!'

Friday 10 August
14.30 Ali Brice's Lemonade Stand at the Hive (Heroes of the Fringe) - recommended by Mike Powell



Saturday 11 August
Eevee day with Pokemon on the meadows
Walk to Summerhall via Bristo Gardens
Orson Welles drawings, Kurt Schwitters portraits, Pussy Riot, John Keane

Sunday 12 August
13.00 Mark Thomas. Check up: our NHS at 70 at the Traverse 1
15.20 Simon Munnery The wreath at the Stand
18.45 Kevin Quantum: Vanishing Point at the Underbelly Cow Barn

Monday 13 August 
14.15 The Bench Gilded Balloon Rose Theatre Attic (oh those stairs!)



Tuesday 14 August
Away day to Newcastle
Laing Art Gallery for Glenn Brown
Baltic: Lots of art
18.00 Graham Fellows at Newcastle Stand Completely out of character
with Niopha Keegan of The Unthanks

Wednesday 15 August
13.20 Foxdog Studios: Robot Chef at Boteco do Brasil Basement - computer games fun
Evening meal at Thrive, Bruntsfield



Thursday 16 August
Home by delayed LNER train and slow Thameslink (should have waited for the brighton one)

Edinburgh 2016

Again, not much more than an itinerary:

Friday 12 August 2016

Travel up by train. Because Southern is so unreliable, get taxi to the station. Virgin East Coast delayed due to person on line at Newark, so had a half at the Parcel Office. Arrive Haymarket an hour and a half late, pint with Sam at Lock25 and go and inspect new BBC venue at George Heriot School. Raining.

Saturday 13 August 2016

£4 bus day ticket to Stand 3 for

12:00 Daniel Kitson presents an insufficient number of undeveloped ideas over ninety testing minutes, basically him talking to biologists on the front row, very funny though, and he's so quick witted.

Bus to Serrano Manchego on Leith Walk for tapas, then to Leith docks for the Dazzle Ship. Bus back to Pleasance, thence to Mandarin House/Star Sea for chinese food and Blue Blazer for drinks then back to Stand 3 (same seats) for

22:05 David Kay, the self-effacing Scottish stand up. 

Sunday 14 August 2016

Taxi to Pleasance for 

13.45 Teatro Delusio by Familie Flöz - puppets and mine in masks, backstage at the opera.

Walk to Summerhall for

15.55 Meet Fred by Hijinx Theatre - another puppet becomes self-aware helped by learning disabled actor Martin Vick.

Pint of porter and a quick look round the art before walking through the Meadows looking for Pokemon, where I put my right leg down a dangerous hole!

Monday 15 August 2016

Art day. After a quick look round Daubigny Monet Van Gogh at the Mound with Mad, 14.30 art bus to Modern Art for Surreal Encounters: Collecting the marvellous to re-acquaint myself with all the paintings from the  Edward James collection that used to be in Brighton, now in Rotterdam. Back to Summerhall for more art and with a comp from Max, saw 

17.40 Molhados & Secos - Wet and Dry at Zoo - Argentinian physical theatre

Walked to Pleasance where I bumped into Jo Neary and Pad and saw

20.00 Pete Firman Trix at Pleasance Beyond - magic, with Sam dragged on stage!

Tuesday 16 August 2016

Brisk walk to Traverse for

13:15 Mark Thomas : The Red Shed - socialist comedy where we got to sing The Red Flag, Wakefield style.

Sunny walk to Book Festival, then bus to Dovecote and Talbot Rice galleries, then walk to George Square Gardens where we met Millie flyering, and home after a pint or two and a bowl of chips - spotted Paul Zenon and Alisdair Darling.

Wednesday 17 August

Walk to George Square Gardens for 

12.30 'Best' of the Fest in Spiegeltent Palais de Variete - with drunken woman (Holly Burn), conjurer Chris Dugdale, Regency comedian Penny Ashton and Hoola Hoops by Flip FabriQue from Attrape Moi, all compered by Lloyd Griffith, who does impressive impressions of diy tape.

To Tanjore for Indian 'pizza' (uthappam) then back to Summerhall for

17.15 Adler & Gibb a play by Tim Crouch about a student doing a dissertation about a woman making a film about a reclusive American artist and her partner and an art dog (played by a child). Powerful stuff, as you'd expect. Then half an hour later it was back into the same room for

19.15 Robert Newman: The Brain Show - with Rob disagreeing with the experts and playing his banjolele

Then it was a final pint and a Mac and Cheese toastie and home. This year I didn't get to see Simon Munnery, nor the Fruitmarket, nor did I walk down the Royal Mile!

Thursday 18 August 2016: Off to the western isles...

Edinburgh 2015

Someone worked out that this was my 20th Edinburgh festival: 19 staying with Sam and one before that in the 1970s when I was supposed to be at a conference on VLSI. Anyway, every year I seem to do less, and this was a shorter than usual visit thanks to calling in at the Isle of Man on the way up. Here follows just a list of shows:



Saturday 15 August 2015: kipper for breakfast and bus to Mound for the Bailey's Stardust exhibition. David Bailey was a big influence in the 60s, with his grainy 35mm film and cropped heads (tho I believe Bill Brandt invented that). If you like black and white photos and have seen Blow-up, this is the one for you. Got in half price with my art pass. Spent the rest of the day in the Book Festival and at the Pleasance (where they now have a craft beer bar) celeb spotting, including Harry Venning's Hamlet and Millie the champion flyerer. Pakora wrap from Khushi's at George Square.



Sunday 16 August: taxi to the Modern Art Museum 2 (the Dean) - there is no Art Bus this year! - for The Amazing World of M C Escher, a fabulous exhibition (no photography!). He too was a big influence on the 60s, tho looked down upon by the art world. He sought to amaze, rather than create beauty. A heady mixture of draughtsmanship, surrealism and maths. Across the road at 1, there's new work by Roy Lichtenstein and the nicer cafe. Taxi to the Stand for Simon Munnery, 'And nothing But', an unplugged set this year, no projections, no props. Then to La Favorita on Leith Walk for a huge pizza I couldn't finish, and the Playhouse for the annual Waverley Care gala, featuring Marcus Brigstocke, Adam Hills and many others, then a pint of Elvis Juice at Jeremiah's Tap Room.



Monday 17 August: bus to Summerhall and Daniel Kitson's Polyphony, a play for him and 19 iPods with speakers handed out to the audience. A bit like Nina Conti putting words into people's mouths. The iPods were arranged in a circle in the middle of the floor and someone tripped over them! One failed to work once they got going and Dan had to cover for it… meta-theatre at its funniest. One for the Danoraks. Bumped into George Egg and Nikki, then a bit of art at Blair Street hub (bought some nice badges), Fruitmarket and Stills (including a poster by kennardphillipps that turned up at Banksy's Dismaland) - not much art at Summerhall this year. Later on Frankie Boyle, yes him, at the Assembly Rooms. Very offensive in a sort of left-wing way.



Tuesday 18 August: Trip to Glasgow to see the Riverside Museum. Train to Partick, soup in museum cafe, big South African loco, coffee in tall ship cafe, ferry to Govan and back, 100 bus back to centre, train back to Haymarket, pint in Thomson's Bar, pint in Bennets Bar, sushi at Harajuku Kitchen.



Wednesday: home on train sitting next to woman from Deal.

More photos on Flickr.

See last year's Edinburgh blog.

Sunday night at the London Palladium

I'd bought a £30 ticket for John Shuttleworth and Friends in aid of MS charities at the London Palladium, so I thought I'd make a day of it by seeing the Eric Ravilious exhibition at Dulwich Picture Gallery too. It was going to be a complicated day. I'd bought a ticket to London in advance, thinking I'd get to Dulwich on my bus pass and avoid that walk, but in the event got the Orpington train from Victoria, paid for with my Oyster card.

First though, I rode my electric bike to Brighton station because I'd be getting a late train home and didn't want to walk. I was pleasantly surprised when the new bike hub opened its doors for me (with my Key card) so I could leave it safe along with lights and helmet, something I wouldn't do outside.

At West Dulwich, it's a bit of a schlep to the gallery and it was a hot day so I was all sweaty when I got there and the air conditioning was a welcome relief. My new National Art Pass got me in half price (£7) and I headed for the Ravilious exhibition.

I love Ravilious and it was great seeing so many works here, also appreciating how many there were yet to see, probably tucked up in the vaults of the Towner, Eastbourne. It started with a room of quirky objects plus a few wood engravings and his designs for the alphabet mug and numbers handkerchief. After that the rooms were themed: interiors, landscapes, and finally his war paintings for aircraft and dazzle ships. Lots of local (to me) scenes too - the Long Man of Wilmington, Beachy Head, Newhaven harbour, etc. They're all big for landscapes and you can see the detail in the pencil overlaid with looser watercolour in his dry brush cross-hatching style.

After a look round the gift shop (where I bought a £25 catalogue) and a coffee plus almond slice at the 'artesan bakery' in the grounds (the cafe was too posh for the likes of me), I went in for a second look and to find the ones on sale as postcards that I'd missed. It was poignant that so many were painted in 1941, the year before he died! No photography allowed!

So, I caught a P4 from right outside, to Brixton, where all the shops were shutting, and a 159 (?) to Oxford Circus where I had a look for a decent pub before settling on the Argyll Arms opposite the Palladium. I managed to find a seat outside when who should come along but John Otway, who gave me a crib sheet for 'House of the rising sun' (which I got signed). I had a pint of Robinson's  Iron Maiden Trooper (at London prices) then a pint of Everard's Tiger, which I preferred.

So, to seat N33 on the left aisle. First up was guitar virtuoso Gordon Giltrap doing some holiday theme tunes, then Jon McClure (Reverend and the Makers) and Martyn Ware of Heaven 17 on a hi-tech organ, Sooty and Sweep (with Sweep in the Royal Box squirting the audience with a hose pipe - Ken Worthington was spotted up there later!) and Toyah (I went to the Gents while she was doing 'Serial cereal eater'). Or did Bill Bailey finish the first half? The running order is a bit hazy now. John broke Bill's guitar by tripping over a lead, but he was hilarious!

At the interval a bloke behind me had collapsed so was stretchered out as everyone tried to get to the bar. Badly Drawn Boy opened the second half (or was it Chas Hodges of Chas and Dave? who did 'Shopkeepers of the North') and was telling a long story about his train journey (that was leading up to 'Can't go back to savoury now') when someone heckled him to get off, so he called him some rude names, sang about the 'Man who lives on the M62' and another, then kicked over his glass of water and threw his guitar down so hard it smashed!

Jon Otway followed, then Jilted John! Lorraine Bowen sang 'Crumble'. Then Leee John (of Imagination) sang a slow version of 'Disaffected youth' and 'Body talk' in a rather show-bizzy set and John finished with a medley of hits ('Y-reg', 'Save the whale' and 'Here comes Midweek' but no 'Pigeons in Flight'!) It finished around 11pm, I made a dash for the gents again, then a 73 bus to Victoria and the 12.32 train home, stopping at every stop. I was so glad to have my trusty bike to take me home! In bed by 1.30am.

Edinburgh 2014: part 2

Saturday 2 August and we walked across the Meadows in the rain to Summerhall, to meet Mad. It wasn't quite open for business and the number of art exhibits seemed to be down on last year. Particularly liked the Meteorite room (Swiss artist Augustin Rebetez), full of mechanical things moving and screens with stop motion animations on. Genesis P Orridge had a show too, in the Hope room where Michael Nyman was last year. After a pint of Barney's beer, we put Mad on a bus to the borders and sheltered in the Green Mantle where I had my first Mac and Cheese, and American version of macaroni cheese only not as cheesy.

Rob Newman's New Theory of Evolution at the Stand in the Square was the first show we'd paid to see and reasonably good it was too, on an oversized yurt. Afterwards Sam and Teege went on to the Purple Cow to meet friends; i carried on back to the flat.

Sunday 3 August I spent most of the day indoors watching the Commonwealth Games road race in Glasgow on tv. Then it was over to the Zoo venue near the Pleasance for The Ingenious Gentleman Don Quixote by Little Soldier Productions, three Spanish women and an Englishman who clowned out scenes from the book on a small stage with trapdoors, swopping roles as they went along. Spanish guitar was played throughout and there was only mild audience participation.

That evening we had more free tickets to see Rhys Nicholson (Clover, 20.05), a dapper Australian who made jokes that sounded somehow shocking coming from such a young mouth! The narrative was based around a guard llama. At least there was no audience participation, apart from a dig at someone who left in the middle of the show.



On Monday 4 August we saw the biggest show so far: Reduced Shakespeare Company's Complete History of Comedy (abridged) 13.05 at Pleasance One (free tickets!). They were American, which came as a surprise, but were very amusing, except when they invoked an imaginary (?) clown Rambozo, it did tend to go on a bit.

We met Mad again at the City Art Gallery and had coffee there then at 16.25 it was Stand 3 for Robin Ince's Blooming Buzzing Confusion. He'd already said on Facebook that he'd lost his voice, but it didn't sound too bad, though he stopped a couple of times to complain he couldn't do his Brian Blessed impersonation. The show was about the amazing brain and I enjoyed it a lot. We caught the tram to the West End, had a pint in Aubar and a pizza next door at La Piazza.

Last show of the day was David Trent back at Pleasance Courtyard (21.45). He used a video slideshow to dissect the sexist Robin Thicke video and a Nick Griffin of BNP fame cookery show (yes, it really exists!). This was Sam's favourite show, so far.



Tuesday 5 August was my last full day and we visited the Talbot Rice for  Counterpoint, a group exhibition, including a confetti cannon that will only be fired on a Yes vote. The last show of my stay was Simon Munnery, back on stage at Stand 1 (15.55) with Sings Soren Lierkegaard (half price tickets). Munnery is a banker and never ever disappoints. Stewart Lee is another but we were taking a rest from him this year. We were going to have a Chinese fish meal, but it was shut so we had a very filling African tapas at Indaba.



On the way home on Wednesday 6 August, I got the bus to the Mound and popped into the Fruitmarket for the Jim Lambie exhibition. I wasn't expecting much more than stripes on the floor, but it was worth a visit, especially for the maze of mirrored ladders downstairs. Edinburgh to Kings X was a breeze (at York I'd seen 46115 Scots Guardsman on the way up, but only the Harry Potter loco was outside on the way back). The Thameslink train from St Pancras to Brighton was another matter, it was packed, it being just after 5pm, and it went a very circuitous route, via Herne Hill, Tulse Hill, Gypsy Hill and Crystal Palace! Should have got the bus to Victoria…

PS. It has always been a tradition that the first pint in Edinburgh is a glass of 80/-, but this year it was nowhere to be seen. Deuchars IPA is more or less everywhere, but no Cally 80… On my last say however I finally got a pint of heavy at the bar in Stand 1. So now you know.

Edinburgh 2014: part 1

This year's Edinburgh was a bit of an experiment: go up early and bag some free tickets. Yes, groan! Free means crap usually, doesn't it? Anyway, I was willing to take a chance - besides I couldn't find any really cheap rail fares, so it was £33 up and £15.85 back from Kings X with another £20 on the fare from Brighton to St Pancras and back (bad move, more later).



I arrived on Tuesday 29th July, met Sam and had a quiet night in. Next day it was to the Mound by bus and a trip on the new tram to the stop before the Airport. The tram journey was included in my £3.50 day ticket (hooray!), but if you go all the way to the airport, which you could see from Ingliston Park & Ride, it'd cost a fiver. The trams are badly laid out for the casual viewer as the driver is so high up you can't see out the front.

 

 Went back all the way to York Place then popped in to the National Portrait Gallery to check out the Ruskin (with Sam's Friend card) and John Byrne (Tilda Swinton) exhibitions, use their loo and have a coffee! Walked through St Andrews Square where they were erecting a Spiegeltent for the Stand, and after a pint of Munro Mild at the Abbotsford on Rose Street met Sam and Teege to see Steen Raskopoulos at the Wee Coo (20.10), a shouty Australian with a little too much audience participation in his act for my liking. Nobody was safe!



Thursday 31 July, I visited the Writers' Museum off the Royal Mile, a really interesting building, but dull exhibits, apart from the printing press at the top of the stairs (no photography allowed!). Walked down the Royal Mile and spotted Elaine Davidson, the most pierced woman in the world. Ended up at the Pleasance and got some free tickets for The only way is Downton (18.20, Pleasance Above, Luke Kempner), which I enjoyed but Sam hadn't ever seen it so was mystified. The impressions were excellent except for Richard Osman in a Pointless segment. Then it was Luke McQueen at 20.00 in Bunker Two, who did the whole act in his underpants, baked beans dribbling down his chest. This involved far too much audience being picked on, tho one punter refused to play ball!



Friday 1 August, I got the bus to the Mound and visited the Scottish National Gallery (front bit) which was given over to Generation: 25 years of Contemporary Art in Scotland. The David Shrigley room was the best tho I was pleasantly surprised by the quality of the show. It continued at the Modern Art Museum, so i got the 2pm Gallery Bus (now a cramped minibus) out of town. Tip: get there early to get a seat, and it no longer stops at the Portrait Gallery.

 

I gave the American Impressionism show at the former Dean, now Two, a miss, checked out more Generation and had a coffee in the grounds behind the gallery. Back at the Mound, I popped in to the back bit to see the permanent collection and The Art of Golf downstairs, which had some nice railway posters in it.



That evening we had sushi with Belle and Adam at Kanpai, where I was presented with a customised bottle of 'Clear yer Pipes' green chilli sauce from Big Red's Chilli Company, and cocktails at Monboddo, where the cast of River City were celebrating the opening of a play 3000 Trees directed by Libby McArthur. Jimmy Chisholm from Braveheart was also there.

More to follow...

Edinburgh festival 2010

Astronaut
Originally uploaded by fred pipes

People say to me: never mind all this nostalgia nonsense, what we want to know is what did you get up to at Edinburgh? Well, the usual really: Stewart Lee (twice, in two different shows but with similar material - one at the Festival Theatre with Franz Ferdinand and Frank Chickens and the other a Gaza benefit with Daniel Kitson and others), the dependable Simon Munnery (but no AGM this year, and the show didn't appear to be about self-employment as advertised), David O'Doherty (some great jokes about cycle maintenance) and a whole raft of shows starring Brighton people: Tim Crouch's 'The Author' at the Traverse, Mim's 'Dinner for one', Nick Pynn, Beach Hut Mutts, Mr B the Gentleman Rhymer - plus some shows recommended by my infallible guides Peter and Lisa (who'd been up earlier in the month), notably the excellent Poland 3, Iran 2. We also celebrated Foz's birthday, and I went to see Brighton author Marek Kohn gave a talk at the Book Festival on his climate change book 'Turned out nice'

I didn't think the art was up to much (mind you I probably missed some crackers). Sam and I tried to get to the Modern Art Gallery and the Dean (showing surrealist art from their permanent collections) but no buses seem to go there any more (bring back the Art Bus!) and we ended up in Cramond, which was nice! Martin Creed at the Fruitmarket was OKish, esp the musical stairs and lift, but systems art - putting objects in order - can get a bit tedious quite quickly. My favourite exhibition was at the good old Forest Fringe, in the TotalKunst room: Mik Godley's iPod drawings of Nazi flying saucers, done using various apps: Brushes, Sketchbook Mobile and Paintbook 3 Vector. And next door, wannabe astronaut James Baker was attempting to get into space by climbing a stepladder in 30 Days to Space. By climbing a 6ft ladder 1467 times each day for 30 continuous days he hoped eventually reach a height of 50 miles - space. Each climb of the 6ft ladder was marked by drawing a chalk star onto the wall. Hope he made it!

Otherwise it was just lots of good food and great beer in fabulous pubs. Chance encounters on the Royal Mile with heavy metal ukulele players and balloon-blowing clowns, watching The Illusionist in the actual cinema featured in the film, oh and being roped in as judges at Tricity Vogue's Ukelele (that's how she likes to spell it!) Cabaret! In fact, another great week away at the Edinburgh Festival.



More photos on Flickr.

The Two Wrongies

Watching The Two Wrongies last night - two lovely funny dancers who perform much of their act naked (except for rubber bathing caps) - made me wonder when nudity began to lose its shock value. When I were a lad naked flesh was rare and highly charged - we only had National Geographic, Amateur Photographer and library books detailing expeditions to far off hot places to pour over. I think I remember seeing dancers from Sierra Leone on tv once - with bare breasts! - in black and white! The annual Bury Fair had a Nude Show, that was always closed on the opening night so as not to embarrass the Mayor. For sixpence you got to see a foul-mouthed compere introducing tableaux of perfectly still naked ladies recreating famous paintings. The only book in the school library with the word 'fuck' in it was a well thumbed copy of The Cantos of Ezra Pound. If you did come across a copy of Spic, Span or Health and Efficiency in the playground, the nether regions were always air-brushed out. We had to wait for Paul Raymond's relaunched Men Only in the 70s to see pubic hair for the first time! At college (1965-68) I discovered that foreign films, especially those of Fellini, usually contained some nudity! And my first full frontal was Arthur Lowe's wife (or was it matron) wandering empty school corridors in Lindsay Anderson's If. Then there was a trip to a Soho strip club with the rowing club, where a Wilfrid Bramwell character behind a hatch served up Nescafe from a small tin as we sat in cinema seats to watch ladies, moving this time, remove their clothing. But it was the late-60s and soon there was hippy nudity mostly everywhere. There was Hair and Oh! Calcutta!, though I saw neither, and then we got Page 3 girls - and some of the early ones were quite attractive and artistic, quite unlike the plastic busty teenagers we have nowadays. It is said that John Ruskin, having been brought up with marble statues, was so horrified when he saw Effie Gray's bush on his wedding night, the marriage was never consummated and she ran off with Millais. He'd have been very happy with today's Hollywood waxings. Nowadays, along with easy access internet porn, there are nudist beaches, the World Naked Bike Ride every June, and The Two Wrongies. They were a delight and not a bit embarrassing, down the Basement last night - lithe dancers with a sense of humour, in the Liz Aggiss mould. We saw them on stage, dancing beautifully, and 'backstage' chatting and changing what few clothes they had. Highlight was the 'air sex' competition in which three highly accomplished members of the audience mimed foreplay, the act itself, and cigarette afterwards. Hilarious.