Edinburgh 2013

No, I didn't get to see Major Tom!

As usual, just a list, as much for my benefit as yours!

Wednesday 14 August
Meal at Ong Gie: very tasty Korean food - but large portions so I took half of it home for breakfast!

Thursday 15 August:
3.25 Simon Munnery's Fylm, at Stand 1. Same format as last year - Simon and video camera in the audience with cardboard puppetry and guitarist. One old bloke walked out and demanded his money back cos Munnery wasn't on stage!
5.55 Blam! Pleasance. What to call this - physical theatre? parkour? mime? dance? comedy? It's spot the action film as these four Danish guys turn an office into a battleground - loud noises and office equipment as weaponry!
8pm Terry Alderton Season 4, Pleasance. Old school Fringe fare, funny but slightly sinister, We got a 2for1 one on this.

Dave and Ross (here with random bloke) shook our hands on the way out

Friday 16 August
12.15 Big Daddy vs. Giant Haystacks, Assembly George Square, The Box. A cut-down version of the Brighton show by Mitchell and Nixon, in a container! Ross Gurney-Randall and Dave Mounfield were magnificent. Go see it, wherever it's on! Guaranteed entertainment.
7.30 Clare in the Community, BBC Pottersrow. Bumped into Harry Venning at the Pleasance (as you do) and he got us in to this free but sold-out show recording for radio. Sally Phillips was gorgeous, with two bloke actors.

Saturday 17 August
No shows - just some art, see below.

Sunday 18 August
12.40 Tony Law Nonsense overdrive Stand 1. Space (without reading any books), the Olden Days (when there were a lot of firsts), scary roads of Peru, and puppets (Owlcat, etc operated by fans) for this madcap stream of consciousness.
Lunch at Valvona and Crolla's Vincaffe. Tucked away behind Harvey Nick's in a street of fashion, the upstairs restaurant is superb.
4.45 Stewart Lee Much A-Stew about Nothing, Stand 3. Two half-hour try-outs for his forthcoming TV show: one about the tories, the other about UKIP and prejudice, featuring Latvian trousers. Always a must-see at Edinburgh. Missed Baconface tho...

Monday 19 August
1.20 Scotsman best of the fest, Spiegeltent Palazzo, George Square. Hmm, ironically my least enjoyable show. Four acts compered by the likeable Damian Clark: Eastend Cabaret, who pulled the guy sitting next to me - Paul - on stage, but he gave as good as he got (position 68); Adam Kay, who sang silly songs (eg. Iranian Men); Spanish drummers and tap dancers Cambuyon; and cross dressing magicians Briefs. Luck of the draw!
5.50 David Kay, Stand 3. Gentle Scottish humour from the scone-based comedian - not to be confused with the weapons inspector - only doing two nights.

Tuesday 20 August
12 Motherland Vincent Dance Theatre, Summerhall Dissection Room. Two hours of dance and music on the subject of gender. Adrian was meant to be appearing in this after a freak stiletto heel accident with the cellist's arm, but he soldiered on, so Ade came home. Lots of dirt, blood, sweat and repetition - quite enthralling however.
6pm Wellington International Ukulele Orchestra, Gilded Balloon Teviot Debating Hall. Though not as technically accomplished as the Ukulele Orchestra of GB, they made up for it with South Seas brio and colourful costumes. Everyone loves a good old sing-song!
Meal at Sweet Melinda's seafood restaurant in Marchmont.

Wednesday 21 August
1.30 Sid and Valerie Summerhall Red Lecture Theatre. Sue MacLaine and Emma Kilbey play father and daughter in this slightly unsettling play. Free Werther's Originals toffees (made in Germany).
6.30 What happens to the hope at the end of the evening Forest Fringe at Out of the Blue Drill Hall. Travelled to Leith on the off-chance I could get in to this free yet sold-out show at a new venue, and I did. Tim Crouch and a smith's latest play is magnificent on so many levels, yet deceptively simple in presentation. So glad I got to see it. A great climax to my week in Edinburgh.
Meal at Locanda De Gusti on Belle!

Kenny Watson's The Days and Fascia

Art
The first installation I saw (after visiting the Book Festival) was on Rose Street: Kenny Watson's The Days and Fascia - lots of billboards from  the local paper, none as funny as the Argus though. In the same location were videos of  The Complaints Choir from various parts of the world (never got to see them live).

Michael Nyman makes an appearance

You could spend days at Summerhall just looking at art. The stand-out for me was the Michael Nyman installation Man with a movie camera (Images were introduced) - a remake of the Russian silent film on 10 screens with a superb sound system. It's 1h 20min long so couldn't see it all first visit, but went back another day to catch the whole thing.

Stuart McCaffer

I was also taken by Fiona Banner's post-modern The Vanity Press, and The art barber Stuart McCaffer was in the courtyard cutting hair for a bargain tenner. The brochure calls him Stewart and mistakenly said he'll use the hair to make candles! Also in the courtyard, Tony Singh was cooking up spicy street food and I spotted him having a temp tattoo in the hut next door. Potentially interesting stuff in the Demarco archives, but an absence of labels! And you could hear (and feel) the mighty Tesla coil sub-woofer from Robbie Thompson's Ecstatic Arc shaking the whole building. I finally got to see what was down the basement on the final day. In Gregor Schneider's Süßer Duft you're let in one at a time for a max of 5 minutes. Inside, there's a room so white you think it's full of mist, then a black room full of... You'll have to see for yourself!

Wind Pipes for Edinburgh

Elsewhere there was an installation by Sarah Kenchington in St Stephen's apse entitled Wind Pipes for Edinburgh. I thought there might be a photo opportunity there, what with the title, but none presented! It was basically organ pipes connected by plumbing to six giant bellows. One visitor valiantly attempted to play Somewhere over the rainbow, but I couldn't help thinking a keyboard would be more helpful than all those little valves. At the Fruitmarket, Gabriel Orozco had been drawing lots of circles, and at the Scottish National Gallery, Peter Doig painted huge sloppy canvases in Gaugin colours. Not impressed. At the Talbot Rice, it was good to see the old electrical kit and robots made by Nam June Paik, but the videos just looked dreadfully dated. Managed to see the Man Ray exhibition I missed in London at the National Portrait Gallery - great to see the tiny original prints of 1920s hipsters instead of the usual blown-up modern reprints you often see at photography exhibitions these days. Apart from one or two minor ones on Cockburn Street and in the Museum of Scotland (Ilana Halperin's fabulous geological calcified sculptures), that's about it - didn't manage to get to the Modern Art Gallery this year or the Art School.

Six surviving streaks reunited at York

I'm an LMS man, born and bred, but couldn't resist the prospect of copping all six surviving A4s in one spot - the National Railway Museum in York. It was the Great Gathering, 3-17 July, commemorating Mallard's world speed record of 126mph on 3 July 1938. I arrived on the second day and expected it to be heaving, but there was no queue and a relatively sparse crowd, so I was able to get some reasonable snaps. They were arranged around the turntable as follows:

• 60007 Sir Nigel Gresley* (4498) in BR Blue
• 60008 Dwight D. Eisenhower (formerly 4496 Golden Shuttle) in BR Brunswick Green
• 60009 Union of South Africa* (4488) in BR Brunswick Green
• 4464 Bittern* (60019) in LNER Garter Blue
• 4468 Mallard (60022) in LNER Garter Blue
• 4489 Dominion of Canada (60010, formerly Woodcock) in LNER Garter Blue

* operational



60008 Dwight D. Eisenhower had been shipped over from the National Railroad Museum in Green Bay, Wisconsin and 4489 Dominion of Canada was brought over from the Canadian Railway Museum, near Montreal. Both received cosmetic restoration at the NRM in Shilton. 4464 Bittern had arrived under its own steam, setting a new record for a British preserved steam locomotive on the main line, when it achieved a maximum speed of 92.5 mph.



I had the pleasure of riding behind Bittern on the Watercress Line, back in 2008 when it was in green BR livery. I'd only ever glimpsed Sir Nigel and Union of South Africa before (though I may have copped them back in the day, who knows, my Ian Allen combined volumes are long gone!).



After a quick look at Flying Scotsman in the Works and a cappuccino in the Mallard Cafe, I repaired to my hotel, the swanky Hampton at the Hilton nearby, thence to meet Sam and his chums at the Maltings for a pint of Baron Saturday.

Friday morning, the NRM opened at 10am, and this time there was a queue! There were also more people getting in the way of photographs. It must have been really crowded at the weekend. It was getting scorchio in there so I relocated to the Container Cafe outside and met up with Sam et al for a coffee, a quick look round the Station Hall, with Queen Victoria's train and a splendid LMS crab No. 13000, then back to the station and home, via St Pancras. The damp men had finished in my kitchen and bathroom and everything seemed to be functioning!



 More photos on Flickr.

Devonshire by bus (and tram)

Our annual June cottage holiday this year was at Podbury's Cottage in Harpford, Devon. Rob and Jackie, Pam and Steve and I all travelled on Friday 14 June to Exeter by train via Westbury, lunched at The Old Firehouse, and travelled to Newton Poppleford by 52 bus, thence by foot with one-wheel suitcase the quarter of a mile up Lower Way (there's also a Higher Way) to Harpford. It was my turn to cook so got it over with with a quick pasta dish.



On Saturday 15 June, after a walk into Newton Poppleford via the bridge over the Otter and a pint at the Cannon Inn, we all travelled to Sidmouth on the 157 bus from Exmouth and visited the little museum, which featured a display on the illustrator Lawson Wood, who retired there, as well as stuff about the railway. I started watching a video but the volunteer informed me it was an hour and half long, so gave up. After a crab sandwich at the Tasty Baguette we headed back to the cottage on the 52, which went past Waitrose. That night we had Steve's asparagus risotto.



Sunday 16 June was Fathers' Day and I travelled to Seaton on the X53 to see the Tramway. Because I was a dad, I got a free ticket, even without the evidence! The first tram to arrive was the pink Car No. 11 and as it was raining, we all crammed in downstairs. The journey to Colyton takes you through wetlands and by the River Axe, so plenty of birds to see. At Colyton I had some soup and was treated to the worst jazz band I'd ever heard - Swing of the Axe - the sax player (male) couldn't even play Happy Birthday to a party in there. On the way back I caught the oldest tram in the fleet, the luxurious single decker No. 14 (built in 1904). Highly recommended.



It was a long wait until the bus back, so I caught another X53 going further east and worked out I could have an hour in West Bay, the location for ITV's thriller Broadchurch. I took some photos and had a pint of Palmers Copper Ale in the George Hotel. Pam made nut roast for supper.



On Monday 17 June, we took a 157 to Budleigh Salterton. The others got off at East Budleigh to see some Raleigh locations, but I carried on to have leisurely saunter through the charity shops. I bought a crab roll (£1.80) at G & K Sanders fishmongers, then after a look at the beach and some Marines yomping, took tea at the Cosy Tea Pot, sitting outside with some dog owners. When the Fairlynch museum opened at 2pm, I had a browse round, then after a rum and raisin ice cream cone from the Creamery, headed to the bus stop by the library, where I met up with the others. That night we walked a mile or so to Tipton St John for a meal with Jackie's sundial friends at the Golden Lion. I had scallops (4 small) and chunky fish soup as a main- very nice!



Tuesday 18 June was to be a day for sketching and I got the X53 to Beer (great name!). It's a lovely place with streams each side of the road down to the harbour. There was a sea mist but I sat down outside Kenno's cafe with a mug of tea and a coconut and jam cake (was it called a Marlborough?) and drew the east chalk cliff. Afterwards I treated myself to a pint in the pub garden of the Anchor Inn, where I bumped into my second cousin Gillian, her husband Tony and their dog, who were staying in Colyton. Back at the bus stop, I discovered a new bus - the Axe Valley 899 from Seaton to Sidmouth, via Beer and Branscombe (see below). Later Jackie made pizza.



Wednesday's bus journey (19 June) was rather intricate: the usual 11.32 X53 to Beer, then the 889 to Sidmouth and finally the 157 to Exmouth. Pam and Steve joined me on the first leg en route to Bridport. The community bus arrived soon after we arrived at Beer and was a jolly ride, with everyone knowing everyone else. It climbed the back streets of Beer then plunged down a steep hill to Branscombe, but not as far as the bay! It then went past an interesting turreted church and a pub with a skull over the door - The Fountain Head. At Sidmouth I quickly used the public loo, then hopped on the 157 back to Newton Poppleford and on to Exmouth via a detour to Otterton (with its obelisk and ancient stone cross). I'm sure I spotted Rob and Jackie entering the pub there after painting some sandstone stacks at the bay. At Exmouth I visited the tiny museum (entrance £1) with its CD uniform and more on the railway and thence the beach, which like Littlehampton, is a brisk walk from the town centre, before having a cappuccino and custard tart at the Crusty Cob by the square. This was the only sunny day! Rob cooked a bean casserole.



Thursday 20 June I visited Exeter on the 52, looking for a suitcase to replace the one with the wonky wheel. After a spicy veg pasty from the Real Cornish Pasty Co in the rain, a quick look at the cathedral (£6 to get in!), I bought some piccalilly from Freds Kitchen (sic) at a farmers' market, then to the Royal Albert Memorial Museum (ramm) to look at the permanent picture collection (small), an exhibition of photos of the last oak bark tanners (in Colyton) and Gillian Ayers (no relation to Pam). There's lots to see, including a stuffed tiger shot by George V, an elephant, giraffe and polar bear, a collection of collections, and a male CD uniform. I was rather taken with the bee wheelie suitcases they loaned to children visitors. Then it was back to the cathedral for a pint in the Well House. That night it was leftovers night - shepherd's pie, assembled by Rob from the remnants of Pam's nut roast.



Friday morning we had to be out by 10am. We also discovered a wren's nest inside the porch with maybe four hungry mouths inside. Jude came to pick me (and more leftovers) up and back to Farringdon. Dave had had a cataract op but was looking good. Trout for tea from Dave's archaeologist friend Stewart (I also got one to take home). Saturday we went to Exmouth on the 56 to trawl the charity shops and have a Tasty 3 (beans, mushrooms and egg plus toast, £3.90) at the Harbour View cafe. Dave did a great job fixing my suitcase with araldite. Sunday we went for a walk on Aylesbeare Common with Katy and Stewart looking for orchids and other wild flowers. We spotted three bee orchids and loads of common spotteds. The peanut bird feeder in Dave and Jude's garden attracts all kinds of tits, a robin and a nuthatch, but more often than not they all flew away as soon as I got my camera out.



Monday morning I was taken to the bus stop by Dave with my bags in a wheelbarrow and put on a 56 with dodgy electrics: no display on the front and ticket machine not working. He terminated at the bus station so had to get a 51 to St David's and home, via Westbury and Southampton. Popped down to Aldi to get some wine, and guess what? - they were selling suitcases! I got one similar to my broken one for £17. Back at the ranch it was in a real state - I was having the damp seen to - but some chaps came round Tuesday morning and moved things around so I could access the bath, cooker, kettle and fridge!

Brighton Festival 2013, part the third

Just to round things off, the Fringe this year went on for an extra week, until 2 June... and so did the five pound fringe. This is what I saw on the tail end of the 2013 festival:

Friday 31 May
Buddhism: is it just for losers, The Nightingale. This also doubled as Tim Pilcher's birthday celebration so how could I not go. I saw Matt Rudkin of Inconvenient Spoof do Naive Dance Masterclass at Edinburgh (reprised in part at the AOH launch) and was very impressed. No Silvia this time, tho she was in the building, but Matt was joined by two other chaps who initially graded us by height into different rows of the theatre, splitting up couples as they went along. Then we had a mixture of puppets, silly costumes and nonsense poetry - losing me a bit in the middle - but it all came good in the end, despite a prop malfunction on the night!

Saturday 1 June
Glen Richardson’s ‘Sing-Along-A-The-White-Album’…One More Time! The Lord Nelson Inn.

I thought I'd missed this, but Brian of the Five pound fringe put on an extra show, so I was delighted. In the afternoon I got out my copy of the White Album and played it on the record deck to get me in the mood. Only two tables worth of punters at the beginning, but it gradually filled up, ultimately with a stag party wearing shower caps! Glen was joined by Tom Arnold on drum box and he went through the double album track by track, sometimes on keyboard, others on guitar (never knew he could play!). Phew! what a marathon virtuoso performance, even tho he did forget to turn the 'song sheet' over most of the time. Apparently there were more guest singers the previous night, but we were treated to Claire (?) singing Sexy Sadie, and Emily Hell singing Revolution Number 1. How Glen tackled Revolution Number 9 was a master stroke. Great beer too and a fitting end to the festival.

Sunday 2 June

Lucky Jim at the Battle of Trafalgar. Not strictly a festival event, but free, with Harvey's on tap, and some great company.

One of the events I saw right at the start of the festival won an award! Horlicks And Armageddon was voted Most groundbreaking act! Well done Sarah and Colin.

My Edinburgh week is booked, and I'm looking forward to seeing more great Brighton stuff up there...

Brighton Festival 2013 part 2

Well, it's not quite over yet - the Fringe runs until 2 June - but my ticketed events are at an end, and so is the Open Houses. This is what I've seen since the last posting:

Monday 13 May
Tony Haase in The day the fairy dust landed, at the Old Market, Hove. Totally bonkers psychedelic semi-animation ('stillmation'?) Yellow Submarine style and a restless monologue that got more surreal by the second. Could have done with more songs in my humble opinion.

Thursday 16 May

Seven studies in salesmanship at the Lord Nelson Inn. I love the plays of Brian Mitchell and Joseph Nixon, so here we get seven sketches over two hours in a pub serving the best beer in the world. And it's only a fiver to get in. Four actors, including Dave Mounfield, doing funny but thought-provoking stuff.

Friday 17 May
Emma Critchley installation in a container by the beach. Part of House festival. Underwater swimming video. Some amusing street drinkers nearby enjoying the music!
Bullet Catch in the Spiegeltent, written and performed by Rob Drummond. I got my ale from the beer tent first this time then joined the long queue, but Sarah Chrisp and family had kindly saved me a seat in one of the alcoves. This was a big disappointment - the tricks were pretty ordinary and there was too much clutter on stage. OK, he's an actor really, playing William Wonder, but he wasn't at all convincing as a magician, and the character he referred to in the spiel was made up - why didn't he use the real magician, Chung Ling Soo, who'd died doing the famous trick, instead? What's more the gun jammed the night I was there and the stage manager had to go on stage to fix it!

Saturday 18 May Invigilating at Stuff, 46 Clyde Road. Then later:

Trumpton comes alive at the Lord Nelson Inn. This is the third time I've seen this wonderful production. Tonight Stephen Wrigley was in the sidelines doing sound effects as his broken heel meant he couldn't play classical guitar. So, who do we get as substitute? The amazing Richard Durrant. Pure bliss, and Harvey's beer. Another triumph for the Five Pound Fringe.

Sunday 19 May

Invigilating at 17 Clyde Road Open House.

Wednesday 22 May

A tricky night this as it was the Brighton Illustrators Group pub quiz (hosted by Harry Venning) upstairs at the Caxton Arms, while The Spud Guns (Andy Roberts, Jerry Rulf & Laurie Hilton-Ash) were playing downstairs! Luckily, the quiz ended just before the second set started! Our team (Four sheets to the wind) came second! Part of the Five Pound Fringe, but only £3!

Saturday 25 May

Invigilating at Stuff, 46 Clyde Road.

Pete Howells 60th birthday at the Battle of Trafalgar after, where many Brighton musos - including Adrian Oxaal - were playing Dylan and the blues.

Sunday 26 May

Invigilating at 17 Clyde Road. The final day! Three of my paintings received bids!

Tuesday 28 May

At 12.30 Van Buren & Gandey's Victorian Wonders Carnival in a tent by the Ladyboys on Victoria Gardens. Only a half an hour for £5 - a series of three tableaux, Freak Show style: the disembodied head of Scherazade, the headless lady - and the Time Machine, where unlucky Bob disappeared into the future! All good fun.

At 7.45. Jo Neary and George Egg at the marvellous if intimate Bom-Banes. An all-new show: sketches in the first half and a radio play in the second, starring Celia and Fred's adventures in a Dudley supermarket. Great Nuts in May Open House goer sketch in the first half - and we even got a comic to take home. Post-modern comedy at its most mirthful!

Brighton Festival 2013

Things I've been to so far:

Friday 3 May (Festival eve): Brighton Beach Boys at the Lord Nelson, part of the Five Pound Fringe so terrific value and great Harvey's beer.

Sunday 5 May invigilating at 17 Clyde Road, part of the Artists' Open Houses, Beyond the Level trail.
PVs at the Dragonfly House and 30 Gerard Street.

Monday 6 May: PV at the Sundial House.

Tuesday 7 May: Horlicks and Armageddon, in the creepy Police cells under the Town Hall. Talk by Sarah Angliss and Colin Uttley about the Cold War, fallout shelters and radioactivity, interspersed by Sarah and the robots singing electronic songs.

Wednesday 8 May: PV at 17 Clyde Road, with entertainments by Foster and Gilvan, Curtis Tappenden and others.

Thursday 9 May: 50 shades of suit, a situationist film of Dave Suit's birthday by Claire Raftery, Caxton Arms, also part of the Five Pound Fringe.

Friday 10 May: Felix's Machines at the Brighton Uni Gallery, free. Heath Robinson percussion instruments controlled by computer, a bit monotonous after a while, was hoping they'd break into a tune!
Major Tom by Victoria Melody at The Basement. A beauty queen and a real live Basset hound - what more could you wish for?

Saturday 11 May: Invigilating at Stuff, 46 Clyde Road.
Tony Benn, Brighthelm Centre, with Ellie Mae O'Hagan (John McDonnell MP was taken ill), organised by Brighton LRC  - a legend!
High in the Saddle with Hank Wangford and Brad Breath aka Andy Roberts - together with Dusty Evski (Jerry Rulf) on bass and special guest - pedal steel maestro BJ Cole. A hour was not enough, and beer (Heineken!) £ 4.20 a pint, but a highlight of the festival without a doubt.

Sunday 12 May: Invigilating at 17 Clyde Road.

The Angina Monologue by Doug Devaney, at brand new venue Emporium (formerly the Methodist Church on London Road). My first proper play, albeit autobiographical... with added ukulele.

Tonight is Tony Haase in The day the fairy dust landed, at the Old Market, Hove.

East Grinstead by bus

Over Easter, the Bluebell Railway celebrated rejoining to the main line at East Grinstead. Back in the 1960s the council had used the cuttings between there and Kingscote as landfill tips and over the past few years, at great expense, the volunteers have been digging it all out! The Bluebell is notoriously difficult to get to from Brighton by public transport - in previous years I've been making use of the free vintage bus days to travel there via Lewes. This time I thought I'd try out the Metrobus route 270, via Haywards Heath. So, armed with a shareholder's voucher for a free round trip, I caught the bus from Preston Circus at 10.29.



The bus ride would take an hour and half and was scheduled to get in to East Grinstead at 12.02. The trouble was there was only one train on and it was timetabled to leave East Grinstead at 12. Not to worry, heritage railways are always a little behind... but not this time! The bus journey was very pleasant, visiting lovely Sussex villages such as Lindfield with its picturesque pond, and Forest Row, even passing the National Cat Centre at Ashdown Forest! Indeed it passes through Horsted Keynes, a station on the Bluebell line, but only visits the way-out-of-town station on Saturdays!

Predictably I'd missed the train, so I popped into the Travel Centre to get my ticket (disappointingly, a hand-written paper one - I hadn't spotted the proper ticket office which would have the proper cardboard ones). The poor wee Edinburgh woman in the travel centre was contending with the world's most boring old man, so I went next door to the splendid Grinsteade Buffet in an old coach for a cup of tea and a sandwich (egg mayo and cress). When I heard the boring man had followed me in and was interrogating the cafe woman, it was time to leave.



The plan was to get a bus back up the hill to the olde worlde High Street and kill time until the next train at  2.15. But the buses were few and far between, so I ended up hanging round the travel centre portacabin reading tourist brochures until the alloted time when I braved the howling wind to get a place on the platform. However, the train was delayed by half an hour, due to a failed brake in a carriage (grrr), so that meant more waiting, out of the wind.



Eventually Maunsell U-class 2-6-0 No. 1638, built in 1931, rolled into the station. I took some photos - it was windy but sunny - and got on board. Theoretically the round trip would bring me back to East Grinstead for 4.11 and my last bus to Brighton was 4.15. Hmmm, ah well, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. At the travel centre I'd checked that there were no buses going anywhere nearby from any of the other stations during the week. I'd chosen to come on a weekday because I thought it'd be quieter - wrong! Weekdays are taken up by coach trips wanting cream teas, so the train (minus one coach) was crowded. At Sheffield Park I should have had half an hour to look round the shed, but when we got there, the platform was crammed with millions of hungry pensioners, and with a party of 'evacuees' that got on at Horsted Keynes, it was going to be crowded going back. I did mange a whirlwind tour of the new museum, where I saw London Jack, died 1931, who used to be on Woking station (I think) collecting for the Southern Railway Orphanage.



I did get a seat on the way back, opposite a moaning life member and wife who thought they should have used more carriages, despite the waitresses frantically putting Reserved signs on every available table for the cream teas, and I got back to East Grinstead in time for the 5.15 270 bus, which only goes as far as Burgess Hill. I alighted at Haywards Heath and got the train back to Brighton (bumped into Ross Gurney-Randall), grabbing a cheese and mushroom pasty at the station and a pint of Revelation at the Evening Star, ready for Dave Suit's situationist film '50 shades of suit' in the 5 pound fringe at the Caxton Arms. Then it was back to the station and because of a potentially long wait for a London Road train, I hopped on to a 7 to North Street and then a long wait (grrr) for a no. 5 home to nod off to Question Time.

And yes, I did see some bluebells (and deer and pheasants), but they were better from the bus!

Brighton Source - Artists Open Houses Preview

Brighton Source - Artists Open Houses Preview - a nice little mention in the Source.

Norfolk isn't flat

The Clarion Cycling Club spring weekend outing this year was to Norfolk, staying at Sheringham, which I last visited in March last year for the steam gala. Ah-ha, I thought, East Anglia is perfectly flat - it'll be a doodle. Hmm, how wrong I was. You can read a full account of the rides on the Clarion website. I travelled up on Friday the 19th April with Jim, who had meticulously recced the rides and the journey up there. First hurdle was getting across London with the bikes, but before that we had to wait at Brighton station for our delayed train (someone had been run over at South Croydon). Behind schedule we travelled to Farringdon, then via several lifts and a tube train, to Liverpool Street, where we'd just missed our named train. Fortunately the conductor on the following train to Norwich took pity on me, after he'd clocked Jim's magic ticket (a perk of working on the railways). After a coffee at Norwich, we boarded the train to Sheringham, where we parted: he to go to the YHA, me to schlep up the hill to Camberley House B&B, where I was staying.



No steam trains on the Saturday (though we saw the narrow gauge Bure Valley train chuffing away in the distance as we approached Wroxham station), but we did get an hour on a day boat, on Hickling Broad, with Mick driving. This was after lunch at the Pleasure Boat Inn, where I was attracted to the veggie 'suet' pudding on the menu. It was however a disappointment - pastry hard as a pork pie crust, with an iffy filling of spinach, cherry tomatoes and goats cheese. With the help of a pint of Woodforde's Nelson's Revenge, I managed to finish it off though.

 

The ride that day was 27 miles, and with the 'undulations' between the stretches of water, felt a lot longer, especially the long drag back to North Walsham and the train back to base. It was a football special, but most of the supporters got off, so we were ok and went to The Lobster Inn hoping for a Cromer crab sandwich, but it was apparently too cold for them to come out. There was also no Wherry, on the beer front.

On Sunday, after another hearty veggie fry-up breakfast at Camberley House with Angela, Mick and Anne, we did get to go by steam, on the North Norfolk Railway along with Amanda, Angela, David and Helen to the end of the line Holt, with our special £1 Dog | Bicycle tickets. We were pulled by No.7560, an 0-6-0 J15, built at Stratford in 1912, sporting black LNER livery.

 

At Holt station we cycled the mile or so to the village, where we met the others, who'd cycled all the way from Sheringham (including a hill!). After a coffee at the historic Byfords Cafe, we set off to the coast, through Cley next the sea, along Old Womans Lane, to Newgate Green, where we had lunch at the Three Swallows, where I did get a Cromer crab sandwich!

 

After about 13 miles, just Amanda and I set off back to Holt station, where we just caught the last steam train back (the stoker was a rather attractive retro woman); the others cycled the extra 5 miles or so back to base. The remaining cyclists ate at the YHA (three of us, the only ones in there), where Jim had his second lasagne of the day.

 

On Monday morning, I met Jim at the Coffee House cafe and we travelled back the way we'd come, with an hour or so to have a quick cycle round Norwich (which isn't flat either) to see the cathedral, castle, market and Royal Arcade. Back at Liverpool Street there were some steps to negotiate, but not too bad at all, and it was the tube again back to Farringdon, and home. It was tiring on the rides, but very enjoyable nevertheless, and the weather was glorious.

From novel to eBook

In November 2011, I wrote a novel as a NaNoWriMo project. I was encouraged to do it by Julia Crouch, author of Cuckoo, which also started life as a NaNoWriMo project. She told me to write it in November, but don’t look at it again until January. I followed her advice, but let it rest for a whole year in between. (In the novel I changed November to October, and the year it which it was set in to 2010, so as to allow for the twist at the very end – did you see it coming?)

The idea of NaNoWriMo, as outlined in Chris Baty’s book No Plot? No Problem! is to write 50,000 words in 30 days, the premise being that every potential author needs a deadline to get started, else they become a ‘one day’ author, never getting round to it. You write, but don’t edit, yet, just keep going until the month is done and you have a complete first draft to work on.

When I came to edit my novel, I was reluctant to change much. In fact I only corrected spelling mistakes and changed the characters’ names. My friend Jenny Millington - a copy editor by trade - pointed out some errors in my grammar that I attended to. So why have I published it in an ‘unfinished’ form? Well, I quite like it, and would like to get it out there, rather than just languishing on my hard drive. Only today, I saw an item in the paper about some teenagers in Oslo finding a wad of money and a passport on a train. They sensibly handed them in and the dosh was reunited with its 70-year-old owner. Since I wrote the novel, several of the things that happen in the book have also taken place in real life, so I'd like to have it in the public domain to prove I thought of them first!

So here it is. If you spot any glaring errors or plot holes, please get in touch. And next November, why not have a go at writing a novel of your own?

Getting it from a novel in a word-processing program (in this case Mariner Write) to an ebook is another story. Read on...

Being a Mac man, I thought I'd use Apple's free app iBooks Author. So far so good, and I copied it over chapter by chapter, foolishly making corrections and revisions as I went along. The trouble with the program however is that it only outputs in iBook format (for the iBook Store), or as a PDF or as plain text. First obstacle was that I needed to get an EIN (Employer Identification Number) number from the US IRS tax office and the only way to do it was to phone them up! So I did (heavens know how much it cost me), cribbing from an SS-4 form you can download. (A letter evenually arrived from the IRS confirming it.) But when I went back to register with Apple it wanted the EIN number without dashes and spaces and kept rejecting mine. Grrr.

So after wasting lots of time on the internet, I put the whole thing on hold and went on holiday. When I got back iBooks Author still wouldn't let me publish my book, so I decided to go the Kindle route. Now, the trouble with eBooks is that there are lots of different formats, and the one for Kindle is .mobi. I trawled the net and found a 'how-to' that seemed reasonably stress-free. It was a blog by Ed Ditto and entitled rather optimistically How to Publish Your eBook from Word to Kindle in under Ten Minutes. I don't have Word, so I decided to use the text file output from iBooks Author as it was the most up-to-date version. So, I downloaded a trial version of Scrivener, and followed the tutorial. First I dragged the book into Scrivener and then had to use the Split command to separate it back into chapters. After a lot of faffing about trying to get the Chapter headings right, I got it to more or less look OK and uploaded to Amazon. If I could be arsed I could read his eBook (which I bought) and work through Scrivener's help manual, but I'd had enough by then.

What is lost, and I may fix at some point is that the flashbacks - what Eddy/Duane is typing - should be in a different font (Courier at least) and indented as a blockquote. But I think it still makes sense without this. The cover (and title!) could be better too, but I just wanted to make it available as soon as possible.

So if you're interested, download it at https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00CBWQ1GC - it's free for the next few days!

You don't need an actual Kindle to read it - you can download a Kindle reader for your phone or computer from here: http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/feature.html?ie=UTF8&docId=1000425503. Enjoy!

Hebden Bridge, Haworth and beyond

This was to be a complex excursion. There is only one bus an hour between Hebdon Bridge and Haworth and the last one back was 5.18. I didn't count on other difficulties! The objective was the Keighley and Worth Valley Railway. First setback was not finding Rochdale railway station. I took the 471 bus into Bury and on through Heywood (past Wham Street) to Rochdale. No sign of the station and when I reached the bus station found that the nearest bus to it was... the 471. So back I went, got off at the roadworks where they are installing tram lines, and eventually reached the station bursting for the loo. Luckily they had one!



The train to Hebden Bridge, via Todmorden and many tunnels, was very scenic and the 500 bus was waiting outside. The journey up and over the tops was exhilarating, with lots of snow remaining from the recent showers. At Haworth the train was already in, so I jumped on board and bought a round ticket at the end of the line at Oxenhope. It was pulled by a Standard 4 tank similar to the one I saw at the ELR the day before, 80002, built at Derby in 1952. It went back to Keighley, via Oakworth, where the Railway Children was filmed, and I grabbed a sandwich at the end of the line when the loco took on water.

 

I now had a dilemma: to get off at Ingrow West to see the two museums, or carry on back to Oxenhope to see the locos there. I decided to hop off at Ingrow, but the Loco museum was a disappointment: only three small locos inside, with another small tank down the road at the Museum of Rail Travel. I should have got a Rover, which would have entitled me to free entry to both museums, but I coughed up £2 to get into Ingrow loco, and the Jubilee 5596 Bahamas wasn't even there (it's at York). I didn't bother with the Museum of Rail Travel.

 

So, I waited on the platform for the one train operating to get back and I returned to Keighley, then back to Oxenhope where I thought I could have a quick look in the museum while the engine was changing ends. The Oxenhope exhibit was much better, more like a shed with loads of top class engines on view. And it's free! I grabbed a tea and rode back to Haworth where I'd just missed the penultimate bus. Took a look round by the sheds where 43924 was outside, and up the hill for a bit to see if I could spot any Bronte stuff, but no joy, so spent half an hour in the pub with a dodgy pint of IPA throwing a squeaky toy for a puppy that befriended me. Then it was back over the moors, the train to Rochdale, walk to the bus stop where they stop stopping after 7pm. Luckily one came along before then but it terminated at Bury. After 7pm, the buses, which are every ten minutes during the day, go to being one an hour, so I took refuge in the Art Picture House, now a JD Wetherspoons pub, for a quick half of Thwaites Nutty Black. Made it! Another heritage railway ticked off the list.

Preston Bus Station

On Easter Monday I took the train from Scarborough to Manchester, seeing some magnificent scenery between Huddersfield and Stalybridge, to stay in Bury for a few days. On the Tuesday, I took the bus to Bolton and the train up to Preston to see the famous Brutalist bus station, which is under threat of demolition. I took a bus from the station so as to arrive in style and what a fine building it is. I had a wander round the interior taking photos, lunch (egg and tomato sandwich and a mug of tea - I could have had a potato and butter pie, but resisted the temptation) in the cafeteria and even made use of the gents. I took a lift up to the car park decks too. What I didn't realise is that it is double sided with plenty of spaces for buses. The far side has older signage, some in need of repair.

 

Unless there's something drastically wrong with the concrete I don't see why it has to go. It is a beautiful structure surrounded by ugly buildings. What else does Preston offer? Read on...

Afterwards I headed for the Harris Museum, which has a truly superb art gallery on the top floor, with lots of wonderful Victorian and early 20th century paintings. It also houses a fine collection of ceramics and the 13,500 year old Poulton Elk. The star however is the building itself, the interior of which is decorated with friezes and murals depicting all ages of art history. The Egyptian balcony (not accessible) features murals painted by John Somerscales between 1909 and 1913.



From their website:

As part of the design Hibbert also obtained plaster copies of Classical and Renaissance sculpture to illustrate the “whole range and history of the world’s greatest achievements in art”. These started at the top with Assyrian art, then classical Greek sculpture and down to Renaissance art on the ground floor. Only the Greek and Assyrian friezes on the upper floors of the central hall and copy of the Gates of Paradise, Lorenzo Ghiberti (c.1378-1455) from Florence on the ground floor still survive [see photo above]. The friezes are reproductions of the frieze from the palace of King Ashurnasirpal at Nimrud (885 to 860 BC), the frieze and the metopes from the Parthenon in Athens (438-32 BC) and a cast of the frieze of the temple of Apollo Epikourios at Bassae, Greece (420-400 BC).

And unlike Scarborough art gallery, it's all absolutely free. I had a 75p tub of parched peas (black peas, pigeon peas, maple peas, carlins) from the stall outside, then wandered back to the station and home to Bury via Bolton.

 

Now, I probably wouldn't have visited Preston if it wasn't for the Bus Station being under threat, and so I wouldn't have discovered the Harris Museum (there's also the Ribble Steam Railway, down by the docks to see). So a top tip to tourist boards: announce that one of your iconic buildings is to be demolished, and they will come!



On Wednesday, I had a wander round Bury Market, bought some dried black peas to take home, and had a (free - I'm a member) round trip on the East Lancs Railway, pulled by Standard 4 tank 80080 (made in Brighton). I also made my way to Bury Art Gallery to find many of its most famous paintings were abroad, in China, so there were some substitutes from the vaults to admire. I also had a cappuccino in the new cafe on the balcony. The woman asked me if I wanted one shot or two. I had no idea and opted for the one - I should have asked for two! Thursday was to be my most ambitious excursion - to Haworth and the Keighley and Worth Valley railway.

Whitby and Robin Hood's Bay

 I've only ever seen Whitby from afar - when I went on my coach trip to the North Yorkshire Moors Railway at Grosmont in 2009, so I planned an excursion by bus while I was at Scarborough. However fellow Clarionettes Ian and Sue were going by car so I tagged along. The moors north of Scarborough were very bleak, with little traffic and little evidence of the recent snow. We stopped off to look at Robin Hood's Bay, and I wasn't looking forwards to the climb back up the steep steps! We made it to the bottom, however, and took our time getting back, stopping off for a coffee half way.



 The sea defences were huge, and badly in need of some public art.

 

At Whitby we parked by the harbour and had a good view of the demolished houses below the Abbey. We had a stroll round the little streets over the bridge, looking for jet charms to no avail, but didn't try the steps up to the abbey. Back over the bridge, we marvelled at the queues outside the magpie Cafe and the Quayside (voted best chippy in Yorkshire) and carried on towards the lighthouses and tea at the Battery Parade Cafe. On the way back we stopped at a scampi stall owned by the Magpie for a snack, and Ian had some whelks from another stall. There was a steam bus operating, but we didn't have time to ride on it.

 

Back on the road, we visited Grosmont and the sheds of the NYMR. To get to them you go down a long foot tunnel, built between 1833-1835 by George Stephenson. In the shed was the magnificent A4 60007 Sir Nigel Gresley, a Southern loco 826, and a 'mickey' 45407 The Lancashire Fusilier. Back at the station we spotted 75029 The Green Knight and another Black 5 No. 44871. B1 61264 was also in steam but we didn't see it.

 

 Then it was back to Scarborough via Pickering for the Clarion Gala Dinner.

Scarborough 2013

I can just about remember going to Scarborough as a lad, but I only recall one thing: The Battle of the River Plate, enacted by man-operated boats in Peasholm Park. It still goes on, but only from the end of May, however when I discovered the Clarion Cycling Club Easter Meet was to be held there I just had to go. What I'd forgotten, however, was how hilly it was!



I travelled up via York prepared for snow, but my warm clothing wasn't needed - it was a glorious sunny weekend, albeit with a chilly breeze. The Ambassador Spa hotel, on the South Bay Esplanade was a slog from the railway station, pulling my wheelie suitcase, over a land bridge - but I discovered there was a cliff lift operating nearby down to the beach, so the next morning, after the AGM, I bought a £1.20 return ticket down to sea level. The Spa below was overrun with elderly mods and their scooters on a rally.



I caught a 109 bus around the headland. Now, this bus route was exempt from the bus pass, so I bought a day ticket for £2. But beware, there are two companies running this service and, as I found out on the way back, they don't accept the other's tickets! At the North Bay terminus I walked to the North Bay Railway and bought a return to Scalby Mills and enjoyed the ride further north, past the water chute and along the bay. Although the engines look like steam locos, they are actually diesels - but they are old, 1931 Neptune was built in... 1931!

 

I got a 109 back to the pier and went for a coffee at Pacitto's a retro looking cafe overlooking the sea. They had no toilets and the nearest were 'attended', ie you had to pay, so I headed off to find the art gallery, where you can always count on a decent jakes. After a schlep up the hill I found that you had to pay to get in - £1.80 for me, and to be honest apart from the toilets here's not a lot to see apart from some shipwreck paintings, an Edward Bawden watercolour and a big Lord Leighton.

 

After a quick nosey round the not-so-grand Grand Hotel, I got the cliff lift (a different one - looks like there were three at one time, but one looks derelict) down to the beach and a number 6 bus (with my bus pass) back up to the station where I bought a bottle of wine for that night's ceilidh from Tesco. Killed an hour at The Cask Inn, the other side of the land bridge with a pint of Old Peculiar and some cheesy chips, then set off to the dance. Got a lift back to the hotel, thankfully!