The Ladybird Book of The Policeman

The Ladybird Book of The Policeman: I confess I do collect Ladybird books - this spoof made me laugh out loud!

Three bonzos and a piano

threebonzosandapiano.co.uk: new website for Rodney, Roger, Sam ... and Dave!

Chainsaw rebels' station tree protest

Chainsaw rebels' station tree protest (From The Argus): my neighbours Marc and Angie of the Dragonfly House use direct action to protest about tree chopping on the railways.

Great service

Great service (From The Argus): my letter to the Argus about the axing of the Brighton to Watford Junction service.

Steam at the Bluebell and Bury

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Originally uploaded by fred pipes

There were two steam galas on the trot, last two weekends: first on the Bluebell, then on the East Lancs. I made use of the vintage bus to get to the Bluebell on Sunday 19 October. Star was GWR Prairie 5199. Jinty 47493 had broken down, so the only other locos in steam were Southern Railway U Class no. 1638, Somerset and Dorset Joint Railway class 7F no. 53809 and South Eastern and Chatham Railway O1 Class no. 65. I didn't take many snaps, concentrating on Flip videos, which can be seen on Vimeo. I met my friend Karen and 3 kids (and Johnny) there and we travelled back to Brighton on another vintage bus.

Up in Bury I was joined by my sister and brother-in-law on the Saturday train to Rawtenstall. It came in as 61994 The Great Marquess, but as we pulled out, there she was on another platform! Andrew Barclay 0-6-0ST Austerity no. 2183 was chuffing up and down taking footplate passengers for a tenner. At Ramsbottom, we found out we'd been pulled by Jinty 47324 (I still don't know why they're called Jinties!) and they jumped ship and headed back to Bury - pulled by 71000 Duke of Gloucester, the lucky things! I carried on to Rawtenstall where I headed off to the R Lowry exhibition. After missing the Duke again on the way back I had to be content with a double header of L&YR 0-6-0 Class 27 no. 1300 and the Jinty. On Sunday I met my friend Lois, Pete and little Joe. I'd calculated that we'd get the Duke this time, and in she came from Heywood. But... again she was detached and we ended up leaving Bury with 61994 The Great Marquess! At Ramsbottom we saw pig's ears at the car boot sale, had black peas in a polystyrene cup (60p) from Ye Olde Black Peas stall and a chocolate drink in the strangest footballers' wives cafe. It was a cup of frothy milk you had to dissolve a bar of German chocolate in and whisk up (3 quid)! I can't see it catching on! We continued to Rawtenstall pulled by Black Five 45407 and back to Bury. On the way back I was filming the Duke stopped at Ramsbottom when a torrent of rain came off the roof of our train and soaked me! Took some more films back at Bury, then went for a pint of black stuff in the well stocked Trackside bar. Lois had a black pudding bap and then drove us through the rain to New Mills. Pocket rocket BR 2-6-0 Class 4MT no. 76079 (running as 76001) was also in steam but I couldn't get a decent shot of it. Next day I travelled to Liverpool to sample some Biennial art (not that impressed by the videos at FACT or the paintings at Bluecoat) and visit and photograph various houses my Grandad lived in - in Toxteth and over the water in Egremont.

Ray Lowry exhibition

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Originally uploaded by fred pipes

I love my bus pass! When I was Up North last week, I used it to visit houses in Toxteth and Egremont lived in by my Grandfather (still amazingly in existence), and to reach the tiny Lancashire town of Crawshawbooth to visit the Ray Lowry exhibition at the See Gallery. It's incredibly sad that I'd only heard of this exhibition because he'd died, and sadder still that he won't profit from the sales of his artwork (but he does have a son I believe). Along with Bill Tidy and Larry, R Lowry was a great influence - I loved his surreal scratchy drawings in NME and Punch, but know nothing about him, apart from his unhealthy interest in the nazis! I was in Rawtenstall anyway, riding the East Lancs steam railway, so on the advice of gallery owner Julian Williams, caught the X43 bus along part of 'The Witch Way' towards Pendle. The gallery was easy to find, in an Oddfellows Hall and I was taken aback by the crisp gorgeous oils he'd started painting of Manchester (aiming to become 'the other Lowry'). Around the corner were the cartoons I'd known, loved and laughed at. And there were plenty more up the stairs, including folders full in the photographic studio up top. I got a cup of tea, but had to be quick browsing so as to catch the bus back. I bought one depicting Bob Dylan trying to buy a drink at a bar. In another building were his large oils, incuding swasticas made from eggs and bacon and confectionery, an attempt to rehabilitate that bad symbol. Back in the gallery the curator of the Bluecoat in Liverpool was discussing the possiblity of moving the exhibition there. There were plenty of red dots tho, so it won't be the same. The bus driver on the way back was intrigued by my Brighton bus pass. Back in Rawtenstall I searched for Britain's last temperence bar to no avail - maybe it was shut on Saturdays? After buying some batteries at Boots, I got to the station to find the Duke of Gloucester had just pulled out, and the cafe was closing. And it was raining...

Having a Wii

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Originally uploaded by fred pipes

Am I old? Am I? I do have a bus pass, but don't feel that old. Mind you, when I look in the mirror, I don't see my dad, I see my grandad! Roy Lowry didn't even reach state pension age before snuffing it. Does old mean sitting in overheated communal rooms smelling of wee and watching loud daytime TV like my poor old dad before he died? Going to genteel tea dances, and not even ironically? According to Age Concern, old means over 50! That's a shock. Most of the people in my choir are older than me. And I'm one of the younger members of the Clarion Cycling Club, Brighton and Hove Section. So, am I old? With an invitation from my 'old' friend Patricia who works at Age Concern, I popped down to the Royal Albion Hotel to see what the nu-wave old folk are up to these days. It was the final of the Nintendo Wii ten-pin bowling tournament and the two teams were T-shirted and ready to go. Marion, Pat, Margaret, Fred, Tony and Eric from Somerset Point, a sheltered housing block in Kemp Town, were in black; Frank, Mal, Michael, Joan, Les and Eileen from Woods House, in Hove, were in white. And they were good. Strike followed strike and lots of arm action led to the blacks winning 681 to 669. Thankfully, the Wii software kept track of the complicated scoring. Then it was a photo call and off across the road for fish and chips (I headed to the Off Beat). If it's that much fun, I can't wait to get really old!

Ray Lowry RIP

Ray Lowry, punk cartoonist, and no relation of L S, has died age 64. Must go see the exhibition of his work in Rawtenstall when I'm up in Bury next week... Ray Lowry, the artist/illustrator who worked for NME and designed the front cover of The Clash's classic album 'London Calling', has died aged 64. Lowry died in his home in Waterfoot, Lancashire yesterday (14 October) after suffering from illness for a number of years. Lowry contributed illustrations to NME throughout the '70s and '80s as well as The Guardian, Private Eye and Punch. A Ray Lowry exhibition is currently running at the See Gallery, Rawenstall, Lancashire until 7 November.

Three Bonzos and a piano

My most favourite band of all time has to be the Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band. I saw them for sure in 1966 in the Great Hall of the University of Surrey (at Battersea) where I was studying and I'm positive I saw them even before that, more informally in the student bar. I was privileged to be at their reunion 40 years later at the Astoria, have seen Roger Ruskin Spear's Giant Kinetic Wardrobe - at the UoS free festival in 1973 - and have enjoyed seeing Neil Innes many times over the years. So it was with great excitement last Saturday that I cycled to the Latest Musicbar (formerly the Joogleberry) to see Three Bonzos and a piano, namely Roger Ruskin Spear, Rodney Slater and Sam Spoons with Dave Glasson - particularly since Neil Innes and Fatso had cancelled their gig at the Duke of York's cinema the night before. Thankfully, Jo and Laurence had saved me a seat up front (though my view was obscured by Rodney's music stand!). They opened with Cool Britannia, swiftly followed by Watermelon and On her doorstep last night, Roger taking most of the vocals and the audience joining in with gusto. There followed two energetic sets of mayhem, with many Bonzos numbers covered, and a few surprise items too: viz: Punktuation and Sprouting Broccoli. We had the trouser press, shirts, the Leg, and all manner of special effects, ending with a tribute to Viv, Tent. It was great to be so close to three living legends and I managed to capture some videos on my Flip Ultra. At least two others were videoing the performance on proper camcorders. I'll deffo be back next month, and hope it'll be a regular gig. Andy Roberts was in the audience - maybe he'll play next time. You can find my videos here. And here's a video from a better angle by David of the Do Dah Diaries also on Vimeo.

Taunton Ukulele Strummers Club

Taunton Ukulele Strummers Club: don't you wish you lived in the West Country?

The Weasel

The only papers I buy are the Saturday and Sunday Independents (cos they are manageable reads and I'm not a social worker). Last Saturday morning I was devastated to discover that my favourite columns: The Weasel, which had been going since the start of the Indy in 1986, and Will Self's PsychoGeography had both been axed! Not only that but we'll lose the lovely drawings of Lucinda Rogers and the always entertaining scratchings of Ralph Steadman. Saturdays will never be the same again!

Caravan Gallery

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Originally uploaded by fred pipes

I haven't managed to catch many of the Brighton Photo Fringe shows yet, but I did pop into town last Friday to buy some postcards from the Caravan Gallery, parked in Jubilee Square. Their photos make me laugh out loud and we even made a pilgimage to 'Thistle Do Nicely' in Edinburgh on the strength of seeing it on one of their cards. I bought their book and loads of cards and Jan Williams was very impressed by my stories of Mr Cooper, the Baker Street barber featured on a Brighton postcard, now sadly deceased.

Farley Farm

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Originally uploaded by fred pipes

You lazy blogger, I hear you cry! It's not as though I've had nothing to blog, you understand. Truth is, I haven't had much work to avoid, but now I have. So, we're back! On Saturday, I had a motor car journey out to Chiddingly, to visit Farley Farm, the home to Lee Miller and Roland Penrose. The Clarion visited Chiddingly last Sunday on a bike ride from Berwick, to coincide with their Festival, which included Morris dancers, belly dancers (not dancing together, unfortunately), apples and beer! One feature of the festival was that there were cut-price tours of the farm for three weekends. Tessa suggested we go this past weekend. Unfortunately, she was too poorly to go, so I piled into Mark and Anna's car with my neighbour Marion Charles.

Just turn up, said the flyer, so we did. Waiting for the next tour at 2.30, we looked at the mini-print exhibition in the barn, but it was too wet to consider the garden. No photos were allowed to be taken inside, and the two delightful guides kept their beedy eyes on us! I love places full of stuff! There were paintings everywhere, Picasso plates and tiles in the kitchen, a Man Ray collage in the hall, African carvings and curiosities all over the place, and of course Lee's photos and Roland's paintings everywhere. In a big room was a case full of Lee's wartime souvenirs, including two sets of knuckle-dusters and Hitler's stationery. (Apparently the farm is a magnet for Neo-Nazis, according to her grand-daughter Ami in the gift shop.) In case you don't know who Lee Miller was: she was a Vogue model and the Kotex Girl, then went to Paris and met Man Ray and took up photography, was a war correspondent (for Vogue!), and ended up with Roland in a Sussex farmhouse, being visited by Saul Steinberg, Picasso and Man Ray, amongst many other esteemed Surrealists. Her photos can be seen here. If any 'Johnny Foreigners' arrived at Lewes station looking lost, the taxi drivers would take them to Farley! The house has a feel of Charleston about it and Roland went up a few points in my estimation - I'd always considered him a bit of a toff dilettante like the Bloomsbury lot. Go see it if you can - the big 25 quid tours are booked up for the rest of the year, but the downstairs festival taster tours are well worth it. Afterwards we had tea at Silletts Cottage tea rooms in Selmeston!

Saturday night was the debut of the Twilight Club in the Argus Basement. Organised by David Bramwell (of Catalyst Club fame) and Rachel Blackman, it involved parlour games on a medical theme and a show in the pit by Foz's Sawchestra. There's a video of some of it on Vimeo. I was a bit unsure of the geography of the place so missed the first sitting, but they sell proper beer (in bottles) and the performance was worth waiting for. Reminded me of those happenings at All Saint's, Powis Square in the late 1960s, but much more entertaining! This is a welcome addition to the Brighton scene, for the older and more discerning punter.

Edinburgh Festival 2008

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Originally uploaded by fred pipes

Well, I didn't need my sun glasses, but it didn't rain all the time! I travelled up on Wednesday 13 August, crossing from the new St Pancras to King's X via platform 9 3/4. GNER is now National Express. The Cally bar at Haymarket had been demolished for the new tram works, so met Sam in Thomsons Bar for the first pint of 80/- (now called 80, presumably to appeal to young folk!). Next day I was checking Facebook when I received a communication from Marek Kohn, who was speaking at the Book Festival at 2pm. I dragged myself away from the olympics on TV and got my first of many £2.50 day savers (my bus pass isn't valid north of the border). In his audience I spotted Dick Witts, so we had a natter and collared Tony Benn in the signing tent to demonstrate his combination bag and seat (as seen on Richard and Judy). Before had popped into National Trust place and had a letterpress book plate printed! Then walked along to Chester Street to see Harry Potter illustrator Cliff Wright and friends (Mark Harrison and Tim Gill plus girls in flowing dresses) at their art exhibition. On Tim's recommendation, bought some cut-price folk albums at Fopp in Rose Street.

Friday hoped to catch the Art Bus - but it'd been discontinued! So did the smaller galleries, including Richard Wilson's deconstructed hot dog van at the Grey Gallery, then to the Stand to see Simon Munnery's AGM, which continued over the road in the pub, as usual. On Saturday we started at the art school to see the op art E-cyclorama, then to Talbot Rice for Andrew Grassie's hyper-real self-referential egg tempera paintings. They were wee! We were offered magnifying glasses to examine them! On Royal Mile were amused by Gamarjobat and saw Billy Cowie's dance installation at Grassmarket, which was also surprisingly wee! Tonight's show was in a swimming pool - Liz Bentley-on-Sea - not very good, despite the venue and uke action.

Sunday saw the traditional outing - to Musselburgh by bus, to see Mad, art at Eskmills and have tea at Luca's. Later met Peter and Lisa in Bennet's Bar for a couple of pints. On Monday saw Cholmondeleys feat. Nigel Burch at the Assembly then to Cafe Royal for a lovely dark pint, and thence to the Teviot for How to play the uke in less than an hour, a hot squashed show with nice but quiet ukes, Lisa standing in for Foz? Then a quick hike to the Festival Theatre for the Waverley Care comedy gala and loads and loads of very funny people. We were right up in the gods!

Tuesday was wet and Sam was back at work so I did the big museums on the 13 bus. I was round the Tracey Emin show in a flash (tho I bought a pencil!) but the Foto exhibition at the Dean was much better than I'd expected, with much collage and graphic design as well as photos from their golden age. Back to the Pleasance to be a late entrant to Isy Suttie (Dobby in Peep Show)! Back to book festival for Billy Cowie's talk - bought his book, which I'm looking forward to now I've finished A Short History of Tractors in Ukranian, and we had a pint in the Spiegeltent as the rain hammered the roof.

Wednesday got a bus to the top of the Royal Mile and watched a conjurer briefly, before walking down to the Fruitmarket to do the dark rooms properly (I'd wimped out on Friday!) - the installations by Canadians Janet Cardiff and George Bures Miller were very impressive - the record player one downstairs and the killing machine upstairs particularly, the use of sound, light and robotics very theatrical. Waiting for Jo Neary's show to start at the Assembly I went to the Standing Order for a sub-two quid pint, to be joined at my table by Nigel Burch. I recognised him without the Foz makeup and we had a chat about banjuleles. Joanne Neary was excellent, can't think why I hadn't seen her in Brighton. Then it was off to Leith for a farewell meal at The Ship on the Shore with Sam and Charley. I had hake (and a taste of razor clam and scallop - but why do chefs always spoil these dishes for veggies by adding superfluous chorizo and black pudding?). Thursday was back to Haymarket for the train home.

Spa Valley Railway

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Originally uploaded by fred pipes

I didn't have too many expectations for the Spa Valley Railway, at Tunbridge Wells. It's quite short, with mainly smallish locos, but I was in for a delightful day out. It was on the 29 bus all the way, but I'd just missed a train so after a quick look round, popped into Sainsbury's next door, to buy a shirt and pie for supper. As I returned, LMS 0-6-0T Class 3F Jinty no. 47493 (must try to find out why they are called jinties!) was pulling the train into the station. I took some snaps of it, but was disappointed when it returned to the shed. We were to be pulled by a diesel BR Bo-Bo Class 33 no. 33063 'RJ Mitchell'!! As we set off, however it became clear there was a steam loco on the back, Peckett 0-6-0ST works loco no. 1636 'Fonmon' (see a video here). The day was marked as a gala celebrating ten years since High Rocks station opened. I went to the end of the line at Groomsbridge then alighted at High Rocks on the way back. The Mayor and Mayoress of Royal Tunbridge Wells were being snapped next to the loco and a motley band was playing in the gardens of the inn, so I found the entrance to the mysterious High Rocks and had a quick look. It was one of those Victorian playgrounds, populated by strange looking sandstone rocks, some with ancient graffiti carved into them. I didn't fancy the aerial walkways so returned to the pub. No real ale on offer so I wandered back to the platform, to catch a wedding party arriving on the next train, powered this time by the jinty! So it was back to Groomsbridge then to TW, where I had a cuppa and a train biscuit whilst waiting for my 5.15 bus home.

Folkestone Triennial

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Originally uploaded by fred pipes

I've been meaning to take more days out now I'm semi-retired, so when Peter mentioned that he, Lisa, Judy and Chris were going to Folkestone to view the Triennial, it spurred me into action. They were going by motor car, but I was determined to use my bus pass, but as it'd take all day to get there, I went to Hastings by train. This also should have meant less time to wait for the bus (it would have been 50 minutes at Rye) - but, as the PDF timetable I downloaded was wildly wrong (it was for 2004!) I was out by 20 minutes! The 100 bus mysteriously changes to the 711 at Lydd and it was an enjoyable journey taking in Winchelsea, Dymchurch (children's paradise) and Romney Marsh. After Hythe I was in virgin territory and soon I was at Folkestone bus station. First piece of art I encountered was a Tracey Emin sculpture of a child's hat (I think) attached to a bench in a shopping street (8b on the map) - I was too shy to snap the two smoking ladies sitting there oblivious to being in proximity to Public Art! The others were down at the harbour so I sped down the Road of Remembrance (I hadn't realised Folkestone was so hilly!) for a pint of Spitfire at The Princes Royal. As we left the pub we spotted the Orient Express leaving the harbour (unfortunately with a diesel either end). There was also lots of art to spot too (it's much better having them all around town than all in one building!). After spotting another Tracey up some steps, I left the others heading east to chase the Mobile Gull Appreciation Unit and I returned into town. It was hot and humid and there were hills to climb! Stopped in at the Triennial Visitor Centre for a proper map, thence another Tracey (and some false alarms - Folkestone is littered with discarded soggy baby garments!), to the Library to catch the last 5 minutes of Tacita Dean's fishing boat crossing from Boulogne to Folkestone (probably the best bit), a quick pop into Lidl to see if they had any of those hard Italian biscuits with chocolate chips (they hadn't) and back to the bus station, hungry, hot and bothered. On the way back, between Lydd and Camber, it started throwing it down, just as it had on our last Clarion bike ride in those parts. But this time I was inside a nice warm bus! Next week, Bognor?

Rogues' Gallery

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Originally uploaded by fred pipes

Why is travelling to and from our capital city always so fraught! There's an excellent London-to-Brighton rail service and I have my bus pass (oh, and also a dud oyster card!) but just getting from A to B is always hard work. Last night A was Farringdon station and B was the Barbican, just one tube stop away, but as aforementioned oyster card wouldn't top up, I hadn't bought a Travelcard and I was buggered if I was going to spend 4 quid on a single, I ended up walking (the busses were all full)! I was meeting Peter, Lisa, Foz?, Nick and Rob to see Rogue's Gallery, an evening of rollicking sea shanties (or chanteys as they call them) based on Hal Willner's CDs. After a quick pint of London Pride at The Sutton Arms, Foz? and I took our seats on the row behind Peter and Lisa. Hoards of performers stormed the stage and we set off with Baby Gramps singing 'Cape Cod Girls' banging his battered National guitar and sounding like Popeye the sailorman! Then it was a procession of stars, some I'd seen, some never before, taking turns to be backed by the excellent house band led by Kate St John and a mass choir of other performers. We had the Carthy family of Martin, Norma Waterson and Eliza, Neil Hannon in fine voice, Shane MacGowan playing harmonica and singing 'South Australia' and 'The Leaving of Liverpool', sexy Martha Wainwright, the Thompson siblings Teddy and Kami, cheeky Robyn Hitchcock (who used to live in Guildford), new romantic Richard Strange (singing the very rude 'Good Ship Venus'), Suzanne Vega and, the star of the show, cartoonist Ralph Steadman singing the cannibal song 'Little Boy Billy' plus many more. But Tom Waits impersonator Sandy Dillon ruined 'Bully in the alley' for me by not taking it seriously enough! It was whole festival in a evening - 3 and a half hours with no interval. We had musical saw (David Coulter), harmonium (Roger Eno), all manner of other stringed instruments (Leo Abrahams), violins, accordians, traditional folkies, pop stars (but no show by Pete Doherty) and rousing moving music - but you can have too many laments and it was maybe a tad too long, meaning Foz? and I missed our last sensible train and came home on the 1am from Victoria, after an eventful crossing of the Port o' London - but that's another story!

Pease pudding

Pease pudding is a new blog on the art of budget cooking from my old friend Lois Blackburn up in the Peak District.

More Watercress

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Originally uploaded by fred pipes

On my second trip to the Watercress Line with Worthing Coaches, it was a full 53-seater so I sat piggy-in-the-middle on the back seat with several entertaining old ladies who told me all about the war. When we arrived, LMS Class 2MT 2-6-2T No. 41312 was in steam, doing some work experience, so I popped off to the working Post Office in Arlesford to post some proofs, thence to the pub for a pint of Fagin. The train coming back from Alton (and the one to take us there and back) was pulled by Spamcan 34007 Wadebridge, and I tested out my new Flip camcorder on it. It proved susceptible to wind noise and camera shake, but see my Vimeo pages for the excellent film quality. The cream tea was very welcome and I got an extra scone from my old ladies, plus a pot of Watercress Line jam to take home (unfortunately no watercress, the 60p bunches I saw in Arlesford looking a little wilted!). Another nice day out!

Blast

blast.png 633x851 pixels: play the ukulele!