From novel to eBook

In November 2011, I wrote a novel as a NaNoWriMo project. I was encouraged to do it by Julia Crouch, author of Cuckoo, which also started life as a NaNoWriMo project. She told me to write it in November, but don’t look at it again until January. I followed her advice, but let it rest for a whole year in between. (In the novel I changed November to October, and the year it which it was set in to 2010, so as to allow for the twist at the very end – did you see it coming?)

The idea of NaNoWriMo, as outlined in Chris Baty’s book No Plot? No Problem! is to write 50,000 words in 30 days, the premise being that every potential author needs a deadline to get started, else they become a ‘one day’ author, never getting round to it. You write, but don’t edit, yet, just keep going until the month is done and you have a complete first draft to work on.

When I came to edit my novel, I was reluctant to change much. In fact I only corrected spelling mistakes and changed the characters’ names. My friend Jenny Millington - a copy editor by trade - pointed out some errors in my grammar that I attended to. So why have I published it in an ‘unfinished’ form? Well, I quite like it, and would like to get it out there, rather than just languishing on my hard drive. Only today, I saw an item in the paper about some teenagers in Oslo finding a wad of money and a passport on a train. They sensibly handed them in and the dosh was reunited with its 70-year-old owner. Since I wrote the novel, several of the things that happen in the book have also taken place in real life, so I'd like to have it in the public domain to prove I thought of them first!

So here it is. If you spot any glaring errors or plot holes, please get in touch. And next November, why not have a go at writing a novel of your own?

Getting it from a novel in a word-processing program (in this case Mariner Write) to an ebook is another story. Read on...

Being a Mac man, I thought I'd use Apple's free app iBooks Author. So far so good, and I copied it over chapter by chapter, foolishly making corrections and revisions as I went along. The trouble with the program however is that it only outputs in iBook format (for the iBook Store), or as a PDF or as plain text. First obstacle was that I needed to get an EIN (Employer Identification Number) number from the US IRS tax office and the only way to do it was to phone them up! So I did (heavens know how much it cost me), cribbing from an SS-4 form you can download. (A letter evenually arrived from the IRS confirming it.) But when I went back to register with Apple it wanted the EIN number without dashes and spaces and kept rejecting mine. Grrr.

So after wasting lots of time on the internet, I put the whole thing on hold and went on holiday. When I got back iBooks Author still wouldn't let me publish my book, so I decided to go the Kindle route. Now, the trouble with eBooks is that there are lots of different formats, and the one for Kindle is .mobi. I trawled the net and found a 'how-to' that seemed reasonably stress-free. It was a blog by Ed Ditto and entitled rather optimistically How to Publish Your eBook from Word to Kindle in under Ten Minutes. I don't have Word, so I decided to use the text file output from iBooks Author as it was the most up-to-date version. So, I downloaded a trial version of Scrivener, and followed the tutorial. First I dragged the book into Scrivener and then had to use the Split command to separate it back into chapters. After a lot of faffing about trying to get the Chapter headings right, I got it to more or less look OK and uploaded to Amazon. If I could be arsed I could read his eBook (which I bought) and work through Scrivener's help manual, but I'd had enough by then.

What is lost, and I may fix at some point is that the flashbacks - what Eddy/Duane is typing - should be in a different font (Courier at least) and indented as a blockquote. But I think it still makes sense without this. The cover (and title!) could be better too, but I just wanted to make it available as soon as possible.

So if you're interested, download it at https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00CBWQ1GC - it's free for the next few days!

You don't need an actual Kindle to read it - you can download a Kindle reader for your phone or computer from here: http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/feature.html?ie=UTF8&docId=1000425503. Enjoy!

Hebden Bridge, Haworth and beyond

This was to be a complex excursion. There is only one bus an hour between Hebdon Bridge and Haworth and the last one back was 5.18. I didn't count on other difficulties! The objective was the Keighley and Worth Valley Railway. First setback was not finding Rochdale railway station. I took the 471 bus into Bury and on through Heywood (past Wham Street) to Rochdale. No sign of the station and when I reached the bus station found that the nearest bus to it was... the 471. So back I went, got off at the roadworks where they are installing tram lines, and eventually reached the station bursting for the loo. Luckily they had one!



The train to Hebden Bridge, via Todmorden and many tunnels, was very scenic and the 500 bus was waiting outside. The journey up and over the tops was exhilarating, with lots of snow remaining from the recent showers. At Haworth the train was already in, so I jumped on board and bought a round ticket at the end of the line at Oxenhope. It was pulled by a Standard 4 tank similar to the one I saw at the ELR the day before, 80002, built at Derby in 1952. It went back to Keighley, via Oakworth, where the Railway Children was filmed, and I grabbed a sandwich at the end of the line when the loco took on water.

 

I now had a dilemma: to get off at Ingrow West to see the two museums, or carry on back to Oxenhope to see the locos there. I decided to hop off at Ingrow, but the Loco museum was a disappointment: only three small locos inside, with another small tank down the road at the Museum of Rail Travel. I should have got a Rover, which would have entitled me to free entry to both museums, but I coughed up £2 to get into Ingrow loco, and the Jubilee 5596 Bahamas wasn't even there (it's at York). I didn't bother with the Museum of Rail Travel.

 

So, I waited on the platform for the one train operating to get back and I returned to Keighley, then back to Oxenhope where I thought I could have a quick look in the museum while the engine was changing ends. The Oxenhope exhibit was much better, more like a shed with loads of top class engines on view. And it's free! I grabbed a tea and rode back to Haworth where I'd just missed the penultimate bus. Took a look round by the sheds where 43924 was outside, and up the hill for a bit to see if I could spot any Bronte stuff, but no joy, so spent half an hour in the pub with a dodgy pint of IPA throwing a squeaky toy for a puppy that befriended me. Then it was back over the moors, the train to Rochdale, walk to the bus stop where they stop stopping after 7pm. Luckily one came along before then but it terminated at Bury. After 7pm, the buses, which are every ten minutes during the day, go to being one an hour, so I took refuge in the Art Picture House, now a JD Wetherspoons pub, for a quick half of Thwaites Nutty Black. Made it! Another heritage railway ticked off the list.

Preston Bus Station

On Easter Monday I took the train from Scarborough to Manchester, seeing some magnificent scenery between Huddersfield and Stalybridge, to stay in Bury for a few days. On the Tuesday, I took the bus to Bolton and the train up to Preston to see the famous Brutalist bus station, which is under threat of demolition. I took a bus from the station so as to arrive in style and what a fine building it is. I had a wander round the interior taking photos, lunch (egg and tomato sandwich and a mug of tea - I could have had a potato and butter pie, but resisted the temptation) in the cafeteria and even made use of the gents. I took a lift up to the car park decks too. What I didn't realise is that it is double sided with plenty of spaces for buses. The far side has older signage, some in need of repair.

 

Unless there's something drastically wrong with the concrete I don't see why it has to go. It is a beautiful structure surrounded by ugly buildings. What else does Preston offer? Read on...

Afterwards I headed for the Harris Museum, which has a truly superb art gallery on the top floor, with lots of wonderful Victorian and early 20th century paintings. It also houses a fine collection of ceramics and the 13,500 year old Poulton Elk. The star however is the building itself, the interior of which is decorated with friezes and murals depicting all ages of art history. The Egyptian balcony (not accessible) features murals painted by John Somerscales between 1909 and 1913.



From their website:

As part of the design Hibbert also obtained plaster copies of Classical and Renaissance sculpture to illustrate the “whole range and history of the world’s greatest achievements in art”. These started at the top with Assyrian art, then classical Greek sculpture and down to Renaissance art on the ground floor. Only the Greek and Assyrian friezes on the upper floors of the central hall and copy of the Gates of Paradise, Lorenzo Ghiberti (c.1378-1455) from Florence on the ground floor still survive [see photo above]. The friezes are reproductions of the frieze from the palace of King Ashurnasirpal at Nimrud (885 to 860 BC), the frieze and the metopes from the Parthenon in Athens (438-32 BC) and a cast of the frieze of the temple of Apollo Epikourios at Bassae, Greece (420-400 BC).

And unlike Scarborough art gallery, it's all absolutely free. I had a 75p tub of parched peas (black peas, pigeon peas, maple peas, carlins) from the stall outside, then wandered back to the station and home to Bury via Bolton.

 

Now, I probably wouldn't have visited Preston if it wasn't for the Bus Station being under threat, and so I wouldn't have discovered the Harris Museum (there's also the Ribble Steam Railway, down by the docks to see). So a top tip to tourist boards: announce that one of your iconic buildings is to be demolished, and they will come!



On Wednesday, I had a wander round Bury Market, bought some dried black peas to take home, and had a (free - I'm a member) round trip on the East Lancs Railway, pulled by Standard 4 tank 80080 (made in Brighton). I also made my way to Bury Art Gallery to find many of its most famous paintings were abroad, in China, so there were some substitutes from the vaults to admire. I also had a cappuccino in the new cafe on the balcony. The woman asked me if I wanted one shot or two. I had no idea and opted for the one - I should have asked for two! Thursday was to be my most ambitious excursion - to Haworth and the Keighley and Worth Valley railway.

Whitby and Robin Hood's Bay

 I've only ever seen Whitby from afar - when I went on my coach trip to the North Yorkshire Moors Railway at Grosmont in 2009, so I planned an excursion by bus while I was at Scarborough. However fellow Clarionettes Ian and Sue were going by car so I tagged along. The moors north of Scarborough were very bleak, with little traffic and little evidence of the recent snow. We stopped off to look at Robin Hood's Bay, and I wasn't looking forwards to the climb back up the steep steps! We made it to the bottom, however, and took our time getting back, stopping off for a coffee half way.



 The sea defences were huge, and badly in need of some public art.

 

At Whitby we parked by the harbour and had a good view of the demolished houses below the Abbey. We had a stroll round the little streets over the bridge, looking for jet charms to no avail, but didn't try the steps up to the abbey. Back over the bridge, we marvelled at the queues outside the magpie Cafe and the Quayside (voted best chippy in Yorkshire) and carried on towards the lighthouses and tea at the Battery Parade Cafe. On the way back we stopped at a scampi stall owned by the Magpie for a snack, and Ian had some whelks from another stall. There was a steam bus operating, but we didn't have time to ride on it.

 

Back on the road, we visited Grosmont and the sheds of the NYMR. To get to them you go down a long foot tunnel, built between 1833-1835 by George Stephenson. In the shed was the magnificent A4 60007 Sir Nigel Gresley, a Southern loco 826, and a 'mickey' 45407 The Lancashire Fusilier. Back at the station we spotted 75029 The Green Knight and another Black 5 No. 44871. B1 61264 was also in steam but we didn't see it.

 

 Then it was back to Scarborough via Pickering for the Clarion Gala Dinner.

Scarborough 2013

I can just about remember going to Scarborough as a lad, but I only recall one thing: The Battle of the River Plate, enacted by man-operated boats in Peasholm Park. It still goes on, but only from the end of May, however when I discovered the Clarion Cycling Club Easter Meet was to be held there I just had to go. What I'd forgotten, however, was how hilly it was!



I travelled up via York prepared for snow, but my warm clothing wasn't needed - it was a glorious sunny weekend, albeit with a chilly breeze. The Ambassador Spa hotel, on the South Bay Esplanade was a slog from the railway station, pulling my wheelie suitcase, over a land bridge - but I discovered there was a cliff lift operating nearby down to the beach, so the next morning, after the AGM, I bought a £1.20 return ticket down to sea level. The Spa below was overrun with elderly mods and their scooters on a rally.



I caught a 109 bus around the headland. Now, this bus route was exempt from the bus pass, so I bought a day ticket for £2. But beware, there are two companies running this service and, as I found out on the way back, they don't accept the other's tickets! At the North Bay terminus I walked to the North Bay Railway and bought a return to Scalby Mills and enjoyed the ride further north, past the water chute and along the bay. Although the engines look like steam locos, they are actually diesels - but they are old, 1931 Neptune was built in... 1931!

 

I got a 109 back to the pier and went for a coffee at Pacitto's a retro looking cafe overlooking the sea. They had no toilets and the nearest were 'attended', ie you had to pay, so I headed off to find the art gallery, where you can always count on a decent jakes. After a schlep up the hill I found that you had to pay to get in - £1.80 for me, and to be honest apart from the toilets here's not a lot to see apart from some shipwreck paintings, an Edward Bawden watercolour and a big Lord Leighton.

 

After a quick nosey round the not-so-grand Grand Hotel, I got the cliff lift (a different one - looks like there were three at one time, but one looks derelict) down to the beach and a number 6 bus (with my bus pass) back up to the station where I bought a bottle of wine for that night's ceilidh from Tesco. Killed an hour at The Cask Inn, the other side of the land bridge with a pint of Old Peculiar and some cheesy chips, then set off to the dance. Got a lift back to the hotel, thankfully!

Poster boys

Letraset poster from 1971, by me

Two coincidences collided fortuitously recently. First, regular readers of this blog will know I've had the painters, decorators and carpet layers in. Well, I also insulated my loft (I didn't do it myself, obviously, but handyman Danny did) which  involved bringing out some boxes that I've had since I moved down from Guildford 25 years ago - and a big roll of old posters. These were mainly from the late 60s and early 70s, gig posters from Surrey Uni and Guildford Civic Hall. I unrolled and photographed some and put them on Facebook.

Hand-drawn poster by me, 1970. I had a version printed on silver paper!

I decided to put a couple of them on Ebay: a psychedelic Edgar Broughton Band one in gold and brown (below) and a Sun poster of David Bowie (neither by me!) and was surprised at the prices I got for them. Then, out of the blue I got an email from Alexander at Briggs Vintage Concert Posters with a scan of a hand-drawn poster I did for Surrey Uni Rag Ball, featuring the band Yes (above). I assumed he'd seen it on Facebook, but my copy was yellow on silver. So I searched for myself on Google Images (as you do) and found the above poster, which was on sale at Beat Books (scroll down to item 285). It had already been sold, so I have no idea what it made. In any case I was rather flattered to be in such good company!

Edgar Broughton Band poster by Mal Dean (?) printed by Screen Dream

So, Alex popped round to the Pipes Museum and bought some of my posters, plus the odd flyer from the vaults, including one for the Bob Dylan Isle of Wight festival. Most of them were in fact Letraset posters like the one for Kevin Ayers at the top of this blog, printed silkscreen in two colours. I learnt the technique from my good friend and mentor Rick Welton, and in fact some of the posters I sold were his designs from the first Guildford Festival in 1969. Alex was really interested in the hand-drawn psychedelic stuff, however.

Hand drawn screen-printed poster by me, 1968

While he was round, we got talking about Poppa Ben Hook, the Guildford Arts Lab house band. And I mentioned I had six unreleased demo acetates of their tunes. He thought Record Collector might be interested in releasing a limited-edition vinyl record of them, and some time later I was contacted by Rob of Pop Classics and they now have the tracks. I was concerned about permissions, that I was only in contact with one band member, Al the drummer, but he said go for it. Watch this space!

Retired at last!

Well, it looks like I'm properly retired at last. The other day I turned down an illustration job and yesterday found out that the publisher of the book I've been working on for the past year 10 principles of graphic design has just gone into administration!Vivays was founded by a couple of ex-employees of my main publisher Laurence King, including commissioning editor Lee Ripley. Ah well.

It's happened before. In 1991, my second book CAD for product design was commissioned, written, edited, picture researched and ready to go to press when its publisher (whose name escapes me) was taken over by Phaidon. What I didn't know was that Phaidon had also been recently taken over and was relying on its back catalogue to generate income. They weren't publishing anything new, so sat on my book until I asked for it back. After sending it to another couple of publishers (Wiley was one, the Design Council another) and waiting for them to read it (this was before the internet and email), I decided it was getting too out of date to continue, so it never saw the light of day. Soon after, Laurence King approached me about Production for graphic designers, and I've worked for them ever since. When they proposed a second edition of Drawing for designers, which would have been virtually a different book to the first edition, I declined, saying that I'd retired.

So Lee emailed me last year about her new venture and I couldn't say no - only 17,000 words required. Incidentally, another of their authors is Ruth Slavid, who I worked with at IPC Science and Technology Press in Guildford all those years ago. Her book 10 principles of architecture did get published, though it's unlikely she'll see any royalties!

That makes three unpublished books on my hard drive. CAD for product design, which is only openable as a text file, seeing as it was probably written in Claris Works; my NaNoWriMo novel from November 2011, which I'll self-publish just as soon as I can decide on a title; and the graphic design one. Maybe the administrator will find a buyer, maybe not.

P & D

Lots of people have been asking me for details of the colour scheme used in my recent refurbishment. First of all, let me reassure you; the kitchen hasn't been touched, so my Mariscal-inspired mural is still there. I had my living room, dining room, master bedroom and stairs done by my good friend Rob in the following colours:

Front room: Dulux Cornish Dawn (turquoise) with Dulux Jazz Blue woodwork
Hall, stairs and dining room: Dulux Lemon Pie above the dado, Baufix Terracotta (from Lidl) below,  with Jazz Blue woodwork
Front bedroom: Dulux Wellbeing (light green)  with Jazz Blue woodwork

The carpets, by Cormar of Bury (my home town) were expertly laid by Kemp Town Flooring in just one day! Apollo Twine (100% Excellon stain-resistant polypropylene) was used in all the rooms except the bedroom, where the colour was Primo Plus Spearmint.

While this was going on most of my stuff was taken away to storage by Mills Removals and returned three weeks later. Meanwhile, I was camping out in the spare room, surrounded by boxes full of my most precious things.

At last, some new weird cycle lanes

Kensington Place, looking south. A tight squeeze!

Tidy Street, looking north. Turn right at the motorcycle park?

Robert Street, looking north. Cycle lanes make great parking spaces for vans.

At last, some weirdness has returned to Brighton streets! New contra-flow cycle lanes have been installed in most, but not all, the streets of the North Laine. Notably not Sydney Street or Gardner Street. They are mainly short abbreviated ones that indicate that the whole road is contra-flow for bikes. More photos on Flickr.

This is the official Council line.

You can see more Weird Cycle Lanes of Brighton on the ancient eponymous website www.weirdcyclelanes.co.uk.

Marching with the NUJ on the TUC anti-austerity march

On Saturday 20 October, Brighton Trades Council chartered a train up to London for the TUC's 'A future that works' demo and the NUJ Brighton Branch reserved a part of a carriage. We were meeting up at 9am, which is early for me, but I made the rendezvous, with my folding bike, and we marched through the gates of Brighton station onto the platform where a former Gatwick Express was awaiting. Bum, I thought, no bike provision! So we piled in a first-class carriage and I folded the bike up. There was a jolly atmosphere on the train, with people handing out leaflets, whistles and newspapers. When we arrived at Victoria, it was a longish walk to the Embankment where the march was to start. We'd been advised to join from the back (the NUJ was with the 'entertainment unions' nearly at the end) and it was a shame the train hadn't dropped us off at Blackfriars.



Ah well, the roads were deserted and I was able to cycle. Victoria Street, Parliament Square and Whitehall were all devoid of traffic in readiness for the march. Soon all the other Brightonians had disappeared (down the Strand?), and I was left with Nick - we made the mistake of heading down to the Embankment! There was the head of the march taking up both lanes of the road and the pavements! Nick headed up onto the bridge to take some snaps and I tried to push my way to the back of the march to join our group. To no avail. I had to settle for hiding behind a tree and watching the march go by - but I was able to see it all and take some photos. The noise was unbearable - horrid plastic vuvuzelas and whistles mainly, with the odd brass band, samba drummers and jazz combos thrown in.



I'd filled my flask with miso soup, so took the opportunity to take lunch as the march unfolded: the red of Unite, the purple of Unison, the great banners of the railway unions, and spotted some great placards and slogans, 'pleb' being the word of the day. I was also intrigued to see an artwork by Bob and Roberta Smith being carried along. There's some more info about it here: http://www.guardian.co.uk/artanddesign/2012/oct/19/bob-roberta-smith-art-michael-gove. There is also a competition for the best banner or slogan here: http://makethemarch.org.uk.



Over an hour after the start time of 12 noon, I saw some green NUJ flags and joined in, on up to Parliament Square, right into Whitehall, past Downing Street and Horseguard's Parade, past Trafalgar Square, left up to Piccadilly Circus and along Piccadilly to Hyde Park.



The speeches had been going for a while, I'd missed Ed Miliband being booed, the ground was soggy, so after a couple of text messages I met up with Nick and headed to the Serpentine Cafe to join some Clarionettes who'd been marching behind a brass band. After a strange cup of tea with extra large teabag (I decanted half of it into my flask for later), I got on my bike and cycled to Victoria through London traffic with my rescued Unison flag, to catch the 17.08 back to Brighton. This time I found a disabled space for my bike and didn't see any of my chums until we got to Brighton station, where it was raining on the way home. More photos on Flickr.

 

“Mr. Blake is the actual bloke at the Royal College of Useful Knowledge” - Ian Dury - Blog - Brighton Illustrators Group

“Mr. Blake is the actual bloke at the Royal College of Useful Knowledge” - Ian Dury - Blog - Brighton Illustrators Group - David O'Connor's photo of me to illustrate the review of the Pallant House, Chichester Peter Blake exhibition.

Great Central Railway

They all laughed when I said I was going on a city break to Loughborough, but it was true. I've mopped up most of the attractive coastal heritage railways, so it was time to go inland and the Great Central Railway boasts the only mainline double track stretch of rail in the UK. The journey there was quite spectacular too, from upstairs at St Pancras on the East Midlands line. I was going to be a delegate at the NUJ conference in Newcastle so took the opportunity to spend a day at their Autumn Steam Gala, on the Thursday. I wouldn't see all the locos in steam, but there again it wouldn't be as crowded as the weekend.



I spent the Wednesday night at the Premier Inn on a £29 deal (no breakfast), which was fine, with a meal and a couple of pints at the Moon & Bell, a Wetherspoons pub, then on Thursday morning set off for Loughborough GCR station (the mainline station is a way out of town and had to take a bus to the town centre). A kind porter let me leave my case in the porters' room (he also gave me a lift to the main station later) so I had a cup of tea in the buffet while I was waiting for the first train out at 10.30, pulled by GWR pannier tank 9466 in black BR livery. I went all the way to Leicester North then back to Rothley, where I alighted to await the 4-4-0 Schools Class 925 Cheltenham, painted in malachite green, heading back to Leicester.  I travelled on to Quorn and Woodlouse (sorry, Woodhouse) this time and went to look at the cosy NAAFI tea room and the new Butler-Henderson Bistro, but there were no Quorn pies to be had anywhere!



Then an unexpected treat. There was announcement that there'd be a demonstration of the new turntable. And which loco should turn up, but Cheltenham. The demo was not without mishap, with lots of precise movements back and forth to get the balance right, but it was eventually turned round by manpower and chuffed back to Loughborough. By now the timetable was about half an hour behind, so jumped on the pannier-hauled 1.36 and had a cup of tea and a toasted teacake in the buffet car.



Back at Loughborough I had a wander down to the shed, where a diesel was shuffling four steam locos: the fictional crimson 8F 48624, the twins 78019 and 46521 and a jinty 47406. Just outside the shed was 777 Sir Lamiel in steam. Also parked up outside were the blue King Edward II and GNR tank 1744. Now the GCR let you wander into the shed, subject to a small donation, and there I could see various locos in various states of restoration, but didn't want to delve too deep as there were lots of scary oily pits around. I went back to the station to watch Cheltenham run around the train and eventually take it out heading for Leicester. Strange to see so many Southern locos in the midlands. Coincidentally, on the way back from Newcastle I spotted the GCR black 5 45305 outside York railway museum.



And what of Loughborough itself? Well, it has some fine Art Deco buildings and two Wetherspoon pubs, so what more could you ask, and the weather was too good, the sun getting in the way of better photographs! More on Flickr.

 

Old photos

Inspired by David Simkin's talk at the Regency Town House on dating old photographs, particularly the one of Brighton Swimming Club wearing swimming drawers and top hats, I thought I'd dig out some of mine and scan them. A couple of them are of family, the rest I've picked up at jumble sales etc over the years, the most notable being one of Lewis Carroll, who lived in Guildford for a time. The glass photo above was given to me by my mother-in-law and I assumed it was one of her ancestors, but when my son took it to show her, she had no idea who it was!



I expect all of them tell a story. The Bleakleys, for example were a family of papermakers who travelled all over the place, especially where it was damp. Everywhere they stopped they had a child, then moved on. They even got as far as the USA! My grandmother, Marie (Molly) Bleakley, was born in Larne, Northern Ireland.

 

This is the only photo not in my possession - it was loaned to me, to scan, by my father's cousin Blanche. More photos can be seen in my Flickr group.

A day at the Paralympics

Thanks to my London chum Rob Hingley, I had a day pass (Monday 3 September) to the Paralympics in Stratford and I was fully expecting just to have a wander round looking at the architecture and art installations, but I was wrong! After a false start that I won't go into, I was an hour and half behind schedule. The £10 day ticket included a free Zone 9 Travelcard so I only had to buy a ticket to East Croydon. At St Pancras I grabbed (and paid for) a beany scotch egg and boarded the Javelin, basically the high-speed train to Kent - mine was going to Margate. A few minutes later, we were off at Stratford International and up a tall escalator, I was on the look-out for Rob, who apparently was at the other tube station!

 

We met up though and got through the security quickly. It was a hot day and I was dressed for a Brighton autumn (it was chilly on the Shoreham riverbank for the air show on Saturday, when I'd been waiting for the mighty Vulcan). After a circuit of the Orbit and a meandering riverbank stroll that took us not very far, we ended up at the Riverbank Arena, after queuing to fill up our water bottles (you're not allowed to bring any in!). A 7-a-side football match had just started and we were right behind the goal. It was Russia v Netherlands and the dutch team lost 8-0, the Russian goalie never even touching the ball.

 

We then strolled over to the Basketball arena where a match was about to begin - in 30 minutes time. It was Netherlands again, but this time against Brazil. We left after the first quarter to get some fish and chips (£8.50 + £4.30 for a 330ml Heneken) and then headed for the Copper Box. Eton Manor with its wheelchair tennis was a bridge too far.

 

All the 'free' venues (and the velodrome) are at the far end of the park, so there was a great deal of walking involved. My improvement would be the provision of Boris bikes to get around on, or maybe more mobility 'trains' - but for more able-bodied people - or even a shuttle bus going from one end of the site to the other.

 

It was getting dark and the Olympic Stadium, Anish Kapoor's  Orbit and other attractions were lighting up, looking spectacular. At the Copper Box we got in to see the last goalball of the day, not exactly the most riveting spectator experience, with only one goal being scored in the match between Canada and Japan, and that from a 'penalty'. The DJ was pretty good tho, as they were in all the venues.



Then it was a schlepp back to the tube station, listening to all the cheering coming from the Olympic Stadium and the Aquatics centre, where more medals were being won. I thought I'd try the Jubilee line back to London Bridge but it was a bad choice: the tube was packed and hot and at London Bridge had to walk all round the houses to find the Brighton platform. Home about 11.30, completely exhausted and with aching feet. But what a memorable day out.

 

More photos on Flickr.

Edinburgh 2012

Before I file away all my ephemera, I'll just list the shows I managed to see at this year's Edinburgh festival - you could hardly call it a review! It was just a week: Saturday 11 - Saturday 18 August, with a stop-off at Bury on the way back for my sister's birthday and a spot of trainspotting.

No shows Saturday and Sunday, just lazy days hanging out in various bars, including George Square Gardens and the new venue Summerhall, a former vet school and hospital - The Royal Dick - and it's huge (we came back on the Friday for a proper look round). They make their own beer there - Barney's - and I had a couple of pints of the Red Rye on Sunday in the courtyard.



Monday 13 August: took in some art shows, including Dieter Roth: Diaries at the Fruitmarket, an underwhelming  collection of rubbish, flattened and put in folders for a year! Much more interesting were Harry Hill's paintings, upstairs at White Stuff, including some pop stars painted on coconuts. Saw the ever entertaining Robin Ince at The Jam House, a free gig, but I put a fiver in the bucket, and popped along to the book festival to meet up with Sam and his friends.



 Tuesday 14 August: got a bus to the Mound (my bus pass doesn't work in Scotland so it was a £3.50 day ticket) to check out the Symbolist Landscape exhibition. It was better that expected; but the subtitle Van Gogh to Kandinsky let it down. There was so much more, including Whistler, GF Watts, Lord Leighton, James Ensor and Monet, plus lots of German and Scandanavian painters such as Franz von Stuck and Villhelm Hammershoi and Akseli Gallen-Kallela - and a couple of dreadfuls by Munch. What was fascinating was that so many of the conventional paintings were contemporary with the more avant-garde pictures, such as by Mondrian, collected together towards the end of the exhibition. Thanks to The Scotsman I got a half-price ticket to Formby, a play written and performed by Ewan Wardop, and smashing it was too - he can really play the banjolele, and we had a good old sing song at the end of the two songs audiences never let George leave the stage before he did - can you guess them? I met up with Sam to go see Paul Foot (not the politician) at the Underbelly and funny he was too, without ever finishing a joke - don't sit on the front row though! It was another late night as well, to see Humphrey Kerr as Dymock Watson: Nazi Smasher. It was the sort of tall tale that your grandad might tell you about his role in the downfall of Hitler, and hugely entertaining. It was the last night of the run and the props dept had put some extra bang in the explosion, making the actor jump out of his skin (and the audience too).



Wednesday 15 August: to the Stand for another Edinburgh stalwart, Simon Munnery, who conducted the whole show - Fylm Makker - from the middle of the audience as a video link. It was a virtuoso performance involving half-silvered mirrors, foot pedals and cardboard animations, and of course Venn diagrams. After a pint across the road we were in the other Stand for Gavin Webster, an old-skool geordie comic, who was nevertheless extremely likeable and shook everyone's hand on the way out. After a Yo! Sushi meal at the top of Harvey Nick's I baled out and let the youngsters go oot on the toon.



Thursday 16 August: I had a mission, to discover Sally Kennedy's singing ancestor's plaque at the bottom of Calton Hill steps. I was also looking for the Ingleby Gallery, so I got off the bus at the top of the High Street and walked down the Royal Mile through all the buskers and flyerers , checked out the golden pillar box on Hunter Square, looked in at the Collective gallery and made for the Trainspotting steps. Lo and behold! there was the gallery: two floors of lovely Ian Hamilton Finlay stuff, including a film of aircraft taking off from an ironing board and a set of wooden models of Japanese warship chimneys. Back up to Waterloo Place and across a bridge over where I'd just been (Edinburgh is like that) and it was onward to the steps. Found the plaque just past the steps and decided to do something I'd never done before: go up to the top of Calton Hill! It wasn't that bad and ate my sandwiches overlooking a stunning view of Leith. Walked down to the Mound and got the Art Bus (yes, it's back, as a luxury coach) to the modern art gallery for the Picasso and Modern British Art exhibition. Now I've never been too fond of Pablo, but the Wyndham Lewis paintings downstairs and the Hockney room upstairs were worth the admission price on their own. There is some local interest too, with photos by Lee Miller and collages by Roland Penrose. Didn't bother with the Munch at the former Dean gallery, now Scottish National Gallery of Modern Art 2. Back to the old Assembly for Stewart Lee (who flyered me on the way in!) and his very-post-modern show Carpet Remnant World. Then another late-night show - John Shuttleworth at the Ace Dome. It was quite a rushed performance, with only an abbreviated I can't go back to savoury now as an encore. I look forward to a good two hours at the Theatre Royal in November.



Friday 17 August: spent most of the day at Summerhall looking at the many art exhibitions on show. It's like a college degree show with so many rooms to explore and only a badly photocopied map to guide you. Liked the Demarco Foundation rooms, with more Ian Hamilton Finlay, and the Phenotype Genotype ephemera. Then it was a walk to the Pleasance Courtyard, thence to the Brewdog Bar in Cowgate, and a farewell meal at Absolute Thai.



On Saturday it was down the west coast on Virgin to Manchester and the tram to Bury, and on Sunday I made use of one of my free member's tickets on the East Lancs Railway, where steam locos 80080 (made in Brighton) and Jinty 47324 pulled me to Heywood and Rawtenstall and back. Stopped off at Ramsbottom for some black peas, but the stall had gone, its pitch taken over by a Tesco carpark!